Larry’s Diary Week Eight

Larry, the early days – Image by Sheila Shafer-Roberson from Pixabay


Unlike my prediction on Saturday, yesterday was reasonably peaceful here at Number 10. The only thing worth mentioning was that David Cameron is stirring it up again in the Sunday papers. Everyone hates a bad loser and he’s certainly one of those. It was all go this morning with Bozzie Bear up early to get ready for his trip to meet Mr Drunker in Luxembourg. The mutt was running around, getting in the way and being shouted at. I decided to play it cool and just got on quietly with my breakfast, ignoring it. It paid off as Bozzie gave me a bit of his bacon, driving the mutt even more insane. I saw Bozzie on the TV arriving for lunch, a howling mob only a few yards away. I don’t think I would have been very happy with that menu. The salmon for the main was OK, I quite like salmon cat food, but snails for a starter and mouldy old cheese for dessert don’t tickle my fancy. I’d leave the snails in the garden for the Thrushes to eat.

I don’t blame Bozzie for avoiding the presser, being made to look like a mug in what was obviously an ambush isn’t the done thing. I’m not sure I want to be around when he comes home tonight, I think I’ll let the mutt greet him!


As predicted, Bozzie was not very happy when he got home and had a massive rant about what he called “A poxy tax haven with the population of Coventry, where they eat snails and have huge queues of frogs buying cheap petrol”. I followed my old strategy and kept my head down pretending to sleep. Back to Felix Chicken for Breakfast, it really is one of my favourites. I wonder if anyone makes Mouse flavoured cat food, I’d like to try that. Anyway, I decided to keep a low profile while eating just in case Bozzie was still upset but he was chirpier this morning, as most of the MSM was on his side over the Luxembourg ambush. Dom told him that it had done him no harm at all. It had shown just what an unreasonable bunch the EU are and got lots of the British People on his side. Bozzie and Dom also chatted about the Supreme Court case coming up this morning, dealing with the proroguing of Parliament. They are both hoping to get good news later this week or early next week. When I did my normal mid-morning patrol around the offices I spotted the court case was on TV so I slunk under a desk to watch. Some boring bloke called Pannick was giving evidence and he kept referring to various documents, half of which the Judges either didn’t have or had been mis-numbered. It made thing so slow that I fell asleep.

Bozzie had a chat on the Phone today with that Kraut Mrs Merkin. They talked Brexit as usual and came to an agreement that they would have talks over a revised withdrawal agreement without the backstop and some other changes. I wonder what those other changes could be. I must say that the Government council is not half as boring as that bloke this morning. However, I do wish that he would get on with it a bit. He has the most unfortunate habit of stopping in the middle of a sentence while thinking, before resuming.


Bozzie Bear seemed to be reasonably happy with the way the court case went yesterday, well at least he wasn’t moaning about it at breakfast. He went off to visit a hospital in east London. I saw him on the TV being moaned at by some bloke who claimed to be the father of a sick child. Then it emerged that he was a passionate Corbynista Remoaner.

I returned to yesterday’s spot under the desk, where I could see a TV. I wanted to be ready for the court case. But who should I see on the box but Mr Drunker making a speech in the EU Parliament about Brexit.

Maybe he was hinting at a compromise on the WA? Drunker was followed by a nice man for the Government, who to me, presented a powerful case. In the afternoon session there was a verbose sweaty sock speaking and I struggled to understand him. He started off doing a PR job for Scotland, telling everyone what a wonderful place it was, invoking Robert the Bruce and Macbeth. He went on and on until a woman Judge virtually told him to get on with it. After which he did, but it mainly consisted of moaning about the Government and saying how superior Scottish Law is. Thank god 4 o’clock came around and the court went home early. I think it’s because the Judges are all very old and they can’t stay awake any longer. They must need plenty of sleep because they don’t start again until 10:30 am.

Bozzie had another long phone call with the God King President this afternoon. I did my best to listen in but it’s not very easy when you only hear one half of the conversation. I know they talked about Brexit and about Iran who I think they agreed was probably behind the attack on Saudi Arabia’s oil facilities. Anyway, they obviously get on well together as there was lot of laughter. I am a little bit put out tonight; Bozzie held a reception for the armed forces and the Little Otter took along that mutt Dilyn who people made a fuss of. What about me? I’m the Chief Mouser, I hold an official position in this building. I’m not some “Johnny come lately” stupid dog. I’m going to show them all my arse, go and eat and then curl up I’m my basket. Perhaps I’ll feel a bit happier in the morning.


It seems that after I curled up in my basket last night a new opinion poll was published. When I heard it being discussed over breakfast, it quite pleased Bozzie that the Tramps party had dropped to third place in the poll, being over taken by the Limp Dumps. Bozzie and Dom have been both a little annoyed and amused at the same time about the book that David Cameron is advertising all over the MSM. They’re annoyed by the way they he has kept being rude about them but they’re amused by the mess Cameron has got himself into with a lot of his stories. He appears to have upset the Queen, not a very sensible thing to do.

It’s back to the offices to watch the proceedings in the Supreme Court. Very boring man from Northern Ireland talking about the peace process was politely told to get on with it by the President of the Court as it had nothing to do with the case being heard. It’s going to be an interesting wait for the decision early next week. Bozzie and Dom sent a few documents, laying out what they want, to the EU this morning. They specifically asked the EU to keep the contents secret. Dom said to Bozzie that it will be “Interesting to see how long it is before the EU leaks the contents”. Just had a bit of fun chasing a flying rat in Downing Street. Unless I can creep right up on them I am just not fast enough to catch them, but it is good exercise trying!

Right I’m off to see what’s in my bowl for dinner, then a last patrol before I curl up for the night.


Nothing much to report this morning, everyone was pretty much silent over breakfast, with heads buried in newspapers. Bozzie has sent Steve Barclay off to Brussels to meet with the EU’s Chief Negotiator to flesh out the non-paper papers they presented yesterday. Are the EU beginning to move, Drunker has removed the woman who was behind the backstop from the EU negotiating team.

I did pick up from the office staff that most of them were amused by some bloke call Ed Davey on QT last night. They all seemed to think that he got a good kicking by the audience and the rest of the panel. Well, if you try to defend cooky Limp Dump policies that’s what you get. Dom is worried that the Supreme Court is going to rule proroguing Parliament was illegal, so he’s been trying to talk Bozzie into doing it again. He wants him to book tickets on lots of flights to Edinburgh so that, if needed, the Mogg can go and ask the Queen for another prorogation, now that would upset the Remoaners. Bozzie wants to wait and see exactly what the Court says because if it only rules that the request was illegal, that doesn’t mean that the Proroguing was unconstitutional and he wouldn’t have to do anything. Next week is going to be interesting. It didn’t take long for Dom’s prediction on the EU leaking the non-paper papers. Just before I curled up for the night the radio was reporting their contents in a leak from the EU.


Ah, it’s the weekend again and it’s always more peaceful here as there are not so many people working in the offices. Just so long as there is someone around to feed me. Bozzie Bear and the Little Otter often pop off to the PM’s official country residence for the weekend but I always seem to get by. This weekend is a little different as they are off to New York. Bozzie is going to a UN meeting and will be holding side meetings with lot of important people including the God King President, the PM’s of India and New Zealand, the Presidents of Egypt, Hungary and Ukraine and the King of Jordan. The Little Otter is travelling with him but intends to have meetings with the charity she works for.

Lots of questions in the offices about what Labour is doing with Tom Watson. On Friday night they tried to get rid of him. When that failed they tried to use a motion at their NEC to abolish his position, but then withdrew it at the last minute. Did they get a hint that the motion would fail so pulled it so they didn’t look stupid? I guess we can only speculate.

Labour’s mess of a Party Conference got another shock as the parties Head of Policy, Andrew Fisher, is quitting, citing wanting to ‘spend more time with his family’ as the reason. Everyone knows that this is the excuse used by people who have had a row. He is reported to have said he can’t stand all the lies anymore. Well, my tummy has started to rumble so I’m off to see if the stand-in has remembered to put the evening meal in my bowl, then it’s time to sleep. I wonder if anything exciting will force me to visit my keyboard tomorrow?

© WorthingGooner 2019

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