Authoritarianism

The threat fae Russha

Ah mind tha otha day there we aw’ thott the stashun wiz gettin’ attocked wi’ wan o’ they deadly nerff ayjunts fae Rusha. It wis aboot hoff eight in the mornen an’ the Sarge decidet [more…]

Authoritarianism

The Count Dankula Trial

Ah’ve bin stuck oot in f**kin’ Airdrie aw days cos that Toammy Roabertson c**t’s hingin’ aboot the court an’ the chief coanstabul is pure sh*tin’ hissel’ that he might stert committin’ fer right hate crimes. [more…]

Literature

Rangahs an’ Sellick

Here ah am wurkin’ oan a f**kin’ Sundah waitin’ oan a bunch o’ wee Rangahs an’ Sellick c**ts tae get pished enough tae stert kickin’ the sh*te ootae each uthah in Gleska city sentah owwah [more…]

Literature

Fer right terrah

Ah mind the time ah pure foilt a fer right terrah attack. Me an’ wee Kenny the probashunah endet up bein’ sent oot tae Ibrox wan day cos some wifey cawed the wan oh wan [more…]

Communism

I Was Jezza’s Double

“Now, let’s go through this one more time,” sighed Seumas Milne, holding up two glossy photographs. “This one is Ant, Jeremy. And this one is Dec.” “Ant,” he repeated, slowly and deliberately, “and Dec.” The [more…]

Communism

Cameron Goes Postal

“So, you’re telling me there is nothing at all I can do about it?,” spat David Cameron, thumping his desk and fixing his chief of staff with an icy glare. “No lotions? No balms? No [more…]

Communism

Operation Starvation

“Honestly George, I had really never seen anything like it before,” gushed David Cameron,  excitedly. “It was like a sort of ghastly foodbank the size of an aircraft hangar.” George Osborne furrowed his brow and [more…]

Communism

Jezza meets Khan

Gazing smugly out over the River Thames through the wall-to-ceiling window of his spacious new office, Sadiq Khan threw his shiny Grenson brogues up on to the empty desk in front of him and cradled [more…]