Larry’s Diary Week Seven

Larry, the early days – Image by Sheila Shafer-Roberson from Pixabay


Up very early this morning as Dilyn was yapping in that strange Welsh accent of his, wanting to be let out. It suited Bozzie as he was off to Dublin to meet the Teashop this morning, but needs to get back for a vote in the HoC. Anyway, I was able to enjoy my breakfast in peace for once. I say enjoy, but it was some dry old stuff called Go-Cat, I nearly emptied my water bowl afterwards. I tried to show I wasn’t very keen on it by leaving some in the bowl, not something I’d normally contemplate doing.

I heard the Teashop and Bozzie on the Radio before their official meeting. Bozzie said the U.K. buys half of all the Beef and Cheese produced in Ireland. I think it was a subtle warning to the Teashop that we might stop buying, if he causes trouble. Parliament is to be prorogued tonight, but not before Bozzies’ boys will be defeated by yet another Remoaner Commons motion. Grievous is trying to get his hands on a lot of Government communications and private messages by SPADs and others. Dom was surprised that Grievous asked for private messages as they have been advised it could be illegal. We shall see. There is going to be another vote late tonight, this time on a general election. Bozzie is resigned to losing so I’m going to eat my supper and curl up in my basket. I’m sure I’ll find out the result tomorrow. If he has lost that’ll be soon enough.


As I predicted, Bozzie’s proposal for a General Election was not carried in the HoC last night and he wasn’t very happy when he came in. He woke me up with his stomping around, but I stayed in my basket and watched him through a half open eye, just in case he came my way. Of course, the stupid mutt was pleased to see him and ran around yapping in that weird accent of his. Still, it all quickly quietened down and I got back to my beauty sleep.

I think the humans got the message about the dry cat food and it was back to the yummier stuff this morning. As usual I kept my head down in my bowl and my ears wide open while eating. I think Bozzie and Dom are plotting something, but I can’t work out what it is yet. As soon as I can work it out I’ll let you in on the plan. Nice to see someone other than Bozzie getting it in the neck from the MSM this morning. Saggy’s resignation honours list has certainly upset them with the number or her old cronies she has sent to the HoL. I had a good chuckle when I heard the silly woman on Radio 4 getting all upset over the Greatest Living Yorkshireman getting a knighthood and him saying he “didn’t give a toss”. It will be “purr-fetch” when I hear “arise Sir Geoffrey”.

Bozzie had a long meeting this evening with a big Irish Lady about Brexit, I can’t report on it as they saw me in the room before the meeting started and I was slung out. I’m getting worried that someone has me down as the source of the cabinet leaks!

I had to laugh when I saw pictures of Bozzie on the TV News, sitting at a desk in a classroom, taking part in a lesson. He only needed a school cap to have looked like “Just William”.

Right, I wonder what’s for Dinner, I just hope it’s Chicken flavoured, whatever it is.


As usual I’ve been listening in to the conversations while eating my Breakfast. Firstly, I heard that Bozzie told that big beefy Irish woman that he wasn’t going to abandon the “backstop”. He also floated the idea of a bridge across the narrow bit of the Irish Sea linking Northern Ireland to Scotland. She liked that, but Bozzie told her that it was early days and a lot of work needed to be done before any firm proposals could emerge.

Bozzie told the Little Otter that he was getting fed up making excuses for not taking phone calls from Nigel Farage. He told her that Nigel wanted an electoral pact but he didn’t want to talk to him at the moment, not while he still had a chance of a deal with the EU or leaving with no deal. He told her he would think about a pact if the election didn’t come until after the end of October, but he’d keep stalling until things became clearer. Another story Bozzie read out was about the Labour MP who had refused to appear in a BBC News Channel interview about Labour’s Brexit Policy, because he said he had no idea what it was today!

The Scottish Court has thrown a spanner in the works with its decision that Bozzie prorogued Parliament illegally. Bozzie was livid at what he called “The Porridge Wogs” calling him a liar. He says it will all be different when “proper” Judges look at it in the Supreme Court. I nearly got that stupid mutt this evening. It was rolling around on the Kitchen rug and didn’t see me coming. Unfortunately, Bozzie did see me and scooped him up. The Chief Mouser is the boss and I have to keep enforcing that simple rule. There’s always another day; what was it the IRA said “We only have to be lucky once”.

Right it’s time for dinner and bed.


I woke up this morning to the news that the Government has published the Operation Rubberhammer documents. Dom wanted to know how anyone can conflate what is a worst-case scenario with a prediction of what is going to happen. The Remoaners have done just that. They’ve been all over the MSM this morning, talking as if the Rubberhammer papers worst case items were facts, instead of a planning document drawn up at the behest of Saggy. It’s also been announced that peoples private phone messages won’t be released, as it was against the law. It’ll be interesting what the Remoaners do now.

I hear that the EU isn’t happy that we could refuse to pay them the £39 Billion exit fee, they are going to throw their toys out of the pram and refuse to negotiate a Trade Agreement. Dom says they are cutting off their nose to spite their face. Humans do say some funny things, I’d like to see anyone do that. The judges in Northern Ireland have thrown out another anti Brexit court case today. Once again they gave the reason for their action being that they considered it to be a political argument and not a legal argument. Will this be appealed to the Supreme Court and all the outstanding actions be rolled into one to be decided next week? Bozzie and Dom were quite pleased and I got an extra stroke.

EU officials seem to be getting a little desperate today. Several have made speeches or held press conferences, all parroting the same party line, the UK are bad members of the EU, they were never serious about it, we are not renegotiating the WA and we have to pay the £39 Billion. Bozzie says they sound like the Labour Party front bench. They often all spout the same thing on a given day, even down to the same attack line that has obviously been fed to them by one of their PR men. If they haven’t anything sensible to say they resort to trotting out a slogan.

I wonder if Bozzie and the Little Otter will be watching Question Time tonight. I’d like to see it, but I don’t know if I can put up with him getting upset and shouting at the tv, so I might just go and do a building walk through and then curl up in my basket. I would have curled up on the Sofa with the Little Otter, but she has taken up cuddling that stupid mutt and talking to it like a baby. If she calls him “my good little boy” one more time I think I’ll be sick.


I managed to sleep through QT last night, listening to the talk around the offices this morning I suspect that I didn’t miss much. Perhaps because I went to sleep early I woke up early. I decided to go on patrol before Breakfast and caught a mouse in the offices. I played with it for a bit and then heard the humans calling me by rattling my food bowl. Well you know me, food comes first; I finished off the mouse, nipped outside to dump it in front of one of those Sky TV girls l don’t much like, and hurried back in to eat.

I was a bit late to hear Bozzie’s normal chat, so went back to the offices to see if the results of my earlier endeavours made the TV and to see what I could hear. The radio was on and Worwy was being interviewed. He really is a bit thick; he was told that if he voted against the Government he would lose the whip. He did, he lost the whip and now he’s moaning. Just heard that Bozzie is off to meet Jean-Claude Junker on Monday. I hope it’s an early meeting before Junker has had his customary liquid lunch. No word yet on the agenda but you can bet it’ll include Brexit.

Labour has promised to bring in a four-day working week for public employees. Well, as Chief Mouser I’m a public employee, will it apply to me?. Does it mean that if a mouse appears in the offices on a Friday I can refuse to catch it? Will I still get fed twice a day, seven days a week for four days work? It would be nice to work four days instead of seven, but seriously this is just another daft socialist idea. Saw Bozzie on the TV at lunchtime, he was in a place called Doncaster. I hear that Doncaster is a very Labour town, but they voted for Leave very heavily in the referendum. From what I saw there were lots of smiles, handshakes and selfies with Bozzie, Labour town or not.


I had a major shock this morning, I’d popped into the garden early for a quick pee when I had a huge surprise, there was Bozzie in his Dennis the Menace Boxer shorts taking Dilyn for a constitutional. It was quite frightening. That stupid mutt is very lucky to have a protector.

When I walked into the kitchen for breakfast my supersensitive nose picked up a new smell. Nothing unpleasant, actually quite nice, but I couldn’t work out what it was. Then Bozzie walked by me and I realised it was him. It turned out that the Little Otter has bought him some new aftershave, well you can’t use Aramis for ever. I’ll try to find out what it is.
Big moans around the table this morning about my old boss David Cameron. He has written his autobiography; I wonder if I get a mention as a wonderful and faithful Chief Mouser. I quite liked him because he rescued me from Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, but it seems he has been very rude about Bozzie and that Gove person. Well I quite like Bozzie and the Little Otter is sweet, but I never warmed to Gove.

I hear that Bozzie is off on another trip on Monday, off to see that horrible man Drunker again. He was awful when he visited Saggy, drinking nearly a whole bottle of the best Brandy with his lunch and staggering around. I hope the meeting is before lunch. The rumour is that Bozzie has a new leaving method to pitch, we’ll see.
It’s emerged that another traitor, Sam the Gimp, has joined the Limp Dumps. He’s been triumphantly announced at their conference. So much for finding a way to let them back into the party. Like last week I intend to have the day off tomorrow, but I’m sure that something is going to happen that will stop me resting.

© WorthingGooner 2019

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