I got a lift from Ms Geek’s sister and husband for a family gathering in the West Country where I would finally meet the delectable Ms Geeks after a few weeks’ absence. A boring three-hour journey interspersed with a scattering of banal conversation. The car was surprisingly hot, the driver and wife triumphantly announced they were triple boosted the day before.
“Are you OK with the temperature Geeks because TurnipFace likes it hot as he’s so thin after his op”, says the sister.
“Yeah, it’s fine”, I lied. To be honest, it really didn’t bother me as I can cope with a wide range of temps if I have to.
We get to the party, a small house with over 20 people in there, crammed in, kids going berserk and lots of loud voices and total bedlam. I kissed Ms Geeks and pinched her arse. I’ve no idea why I did that. She gave me “the look”. I love her.
There was a buffet full of homemade Chinese food that looked fantastic and smelled awesome. The problem was I was shaking so much from the huge amounts of booze I consumed the previous night, I didn’t think I could successfully balance a plate of sweet and sour pork and noodles, a plastic knife and fork and a red wine in one hand without shaking the whole lot onto the floor, so emergency anti-shaking contingency plans were initiated.
First, a large glass of red wine to settle the nerves. A few gulps later and the old daddles were steadied, time to consume some sweet and sour Labrador that AlJunior would be proud of. Yes, plate is steady, cleared to enjoy the lovely grub without embarrassing yourself.
As I was eating the wonderful food, one of the little scrotes came up and coughed right in my face. The dirty little bastard. “Fuck off!”, I said, with only a slightly raised voice that hopefully his negligent mother wouldn’t hear.
Geeks met a girl, and I woke up and discovered I had a slight phlegmy cough. I didn’t really pay any attention to it. Ms Geeks was fine, getting straight into that day’s cooking bonanza of wonderful treats that we would later consume. It’s lovely being with a professional chef!
One of the family members, a true triple jabbed Covidian had just announced that they tested positive for covid using a Lateral Flow Test. One other family member confirmed too. I started to down multi-vitamins as a precaution.
Geeks, this is it, cough still persisting but it was minor, no tickling throat, nothing. Just a little phlegmy. No fever. Ms Geeks sneezed a few times. We laughed and made our fingers into crosses to ward off imaginary vampires.
Later that evening, many other jabbed family members who were frantically testing also announced that they too, were positive.
Everybody’s at the church and I’ve realised I’ve lost my sense of smell. Very weird as I was eating some pasta and realised I couldn’t taste a thing. I didn’t feel unwell at all. There was a sachet of vanilla sugar in the kitchen that I used to smell whenever I entered the kitchen, and simply sniffing the packet I discovered I couldn’t smell anything. I threw the pasta away as I couldn’t taste the tomato and garlic sauce, it was like eating cardboard.
Late again today, Ms Geeks is off to the West Country, takes an LFT and it’s negative. I noticed my temperature has increased to 38°C so I start consuming aspirin regularly. My nose really hurts, feels like I’ve got sinusitis.
Ms Geeks suddenly announces that evening she has flu-like symptoms and is not feeling well.
My temperature has risen to 39°C but I don’t feel unwell, despite meeting a girl who was small and very pretty. I stopped drinking and eating at the weekend, the only thing I can vaguely taste and smell is salt and vinegar crisps. I’m still dumping aspirin and vitamins.
Ms Geeks says she feels really ill, she’s not eating or taking anything for it. She’s on her own and everyone has told her to isolate. I video called her and she looked bad and was crying. I felt heartbroken, I was in love but I was afraid.
Asked Ms Geeks for a date, my temperature dropped back to 38°C. There’s a little blood in my hanky when I blow my nose. Sinuses are still sore.
Video called Ms Geeks again, she looks fucking terrible. Her head was reeling. She says yes, she feel’s dreadful, she takes an LFT and it’s positive. I take one too (the only one I’ve taken) and it has a faint second line. I guess I’m positive too. Now we switch to Operation Rescue Ms Geeks.
This is it, I drive over to the West Country and pick up Ms Geeks. She looks and sounds awful, can barely walk to the car and her breathing is very laboured. I’m actually very concerned.
When she’s back home I call 111 and get the paramedics over. They say she’s OK for now but to keep an eye on her oxygen sats with a finger monitor and must take aspirin to lower her 39°C temperature. They said don’t be afraid, just knock on the door. I feel relieved that they didn’t have to rush her into A&E so it’s back to being Dr Geeks looking after his patient.
My sense of smell has returned but I’m blowing my nose and I still get blood in my hanky.
Ms Geeks sats are 90% (although the paramedics measured it yesterday and said 95%). She’s been feeling nauseous and not eating anything. I insist on her taking aspirin but she just keeps being sick. Dry vomiting, mostly mucus from her incessant coughing. It hurts her when she coughs. I get some Calpol and she takes that instead. She has no appetite and still looks and sounds dreadful.
No change in Ms Geek’s condition. Still being sick, still looks poorly. She can’t eat anything but is taking vitamins, especially Vit D and is now taking anti-sickness pills.
Her sats have dropped slightly to 88-89%. I call 111 and get the paramedics in again. They insist she is not poorly enough for hospital but to monitor her sats. Their sats reading is higher than my reading which is odd, as I now have two different monitors. She must take aspirin to lower her temperature and if her lips or nails go blue then I must call 999. They then have a go about her not getting vaxxed saying she must immediately afterwards as they’ve seen so many cases like this. I try not to rise to the bait, especially as they made us both wear a mask before entering, but Ms Geeks sees my anger and waves her hand to tell me to calm down.
Ms Geeks is not improving at all, despite aspirin and anti-sickness pills. I make her walk to the toilet and back and she collapses back on the bed, coughing. Her sats read 78%. Right, that’s it, I call 999 and try and get an ambulance. Because she is conscious, they won’t send an ambulance, I have to get a taxi to the hospital’s A&E.
We get to A&E and there’s a queue. One nurse is there dealing with about twenty potential patients. Ms Geeks collapses in front of everyone and they clear a section in the room for her. I explain her sats are at dangerous levels and she’s positive for covid. That cleared the room pretty quickly!
She’s assessed by a nurse and is admitted into the covid ward. No visitors. She disappears behind the double doors of the covid ward in a wheelchair and I’m left bawling my eyes out. I was told I couldn’t visit her until she was released from the covid ward.
Ms Geeks is on 60% oxygen and has an IV of steroids and antibiotics. Within 24 hours after getting her on the NHS WiFi and phoning her, she sounded better. According to the nurse she has the delta variant and has succumbed to bronchopneumonia.
Ms Geeks is on 40% oxygen and is already complaining about the food and the nurse’s tea-making capabilities. Yes, dear reader, she’s getting better!
Ms Geeks now on 20% oxygen. She’s had a chest X-ray and has covid/pneumonia induced Ground Glass Opacity in her lungs. According to the nurse, her mild COPD condition (through years of smoking) has weakened her lungs making her more susceptible to these sorts of things.
Ms Geeks off oxygen, has passed her blood tests and is now home. Thank the Lord.
In conclusion, yes covid is real and it’s not pleasant for some people. Ms Geeks confided in me that she thought she was going to die. I said, and I firmly believed it, that she wouldn’t, it was a nasty respiratory illness, apart from her COPD she was fine and had an excellent chance of recovery.
Just between you and me though, I was scared, I never realised about her COPD condition until recently and that could have had a major bearing on her susceptibility to covid and other previous respiratory diseases. In future, I will be more cautious.
The only thing I regret is calling in the paramedics twice via 111. I got the impression they were more concerned with not filling another NHS bed than realising the severity of Ms Geeks condition. I wish I’d made a stand and been a man, I should have driven to A&E on the first day I picked up Ms Geeks and be done with the so-called over-reaction.
We now have a great life plan and we are both fine now. I never really had any major symptoms apart from a temporary loss of smell and mild sinusitis. Ms Geeks said it was like the worst flu she’s ever had. Interestingly she was only given antibiotics, steroids and oxygen which was an immediate cure.
Ms Geeks never lost her sense of smell or taste. Very odd.
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