Larry’s Diary, Week Two Hundred And Ninety-Seven

Monday

Good morning, friends, and it was a delightfully sunny one for my excursion this morning. Felix Chicken for breakfast, and a new cabinet. It’s going to be an interesting week. I haven’t stopped chuckling all weekend over the demise of the Ginger Growler and the reshuffle, where nearly all the old faces have been moved to different seats. Just about the only two to stay in the same jobs are Robber Reeves and Mad Ed Millipede. So, I suppose that means the same disastrous fiscal and net stupid zero policies are to continue.

Our new Home Secretary, Shabana Mahmood, was dropped straight in the deep end on Saturday when very nearly 1,100 boat people came across the Channel. That took the total so far this year to over 30,000. Leaks at the weekend said the Government is going to ‘renegotiate the ECHR agreement’. I’m not sure how that works. Surely you are either in or out. I have a much simpler answer. We blindly obey the court edicts, while others like France, Germany, Italy and Greece simply ignore what they don’t like. It’s not like we haven’t done it before, when we ignored the ECHR ruling on giving prisoners the vote and the world didn’t end.

Did the Emergency Civil Alert go off on your phone on Sunday? Legohead has tweeted this morning saying the test was a great success. But that’s not what I heard. It seems it didn’t go off on quite a lot of phones and was 5 or 10 minutes late on some phones. I hear of a plane waiting to taxi at Heathrow where most of the phones went off at three, as was supposed to happen, but the last went off at ten past. The BBC had a couple of presenters waiting for the alarm, but it didn’t go off on either’s phone. So once again the system hasn’t worked as designed, but Legohead says it did, so that’s OK then.

Is Legohead’s nightmare about to get worse? The powers that be in the Liebore party are meeting to discuss how to arrange the election of a replacement Deputy Party Leader. So far, I hear there are currently three hats likely to be in the ring: Lady Nugee, Louise Haigh and Mad Ed Millipede. They all have one thing in common, they are rabid lefties.

In London, there is a tube strike this week, all week. I must say it has thinned out the people in the office today. But what is the industrial action all about? As usual, the RMT union says it’s pay and conditions. They say that the staff is stressed, and they need a four-day, 32-hour week instead of the current five-day, 37-hour week. As for pay, they want more money for less work and claim TfL can afford it, as they declared a surplus in the last year. But wasn’t the surplus purely the result of Government subsidies? The RMT has a number of extra demands, including 75% Network Rail tickets and two-for-one entry to theme parks, including Legoland. The union is moaning that TfL is refusing to discuss this ‘tiny’ matter with them.

In the US, Volkswagen is being sued over the steering wheel-mounted switches in its ID.4 model. Most cars have moved many of the controls that used to be on the dashboard to the steering wheel, with the idea that they can be used without taking your hands off the steering wheel. I understand that, in general, this approach has gone down well and has improved safety. So why the case in the US? It’s because VW have gone a step further and the switch on the ID.4…

Last week, I told you about the Danes who are looking at buying the Type 31 frigate built in Rosyth. Well, over the weekend I researched a bit of the background to this prospective purchase. The Danes currently use the Iver Huitfeldt class of frigate, and when one was sent to the Gulf to fight the Houthi missile threat, it proved to be a hindrance, as its electronic systems just didn’t work and the alliance ships had to protect it. The strange thing is that the Type 31 is based on the Babcock Arrowhead 140 frigate design, and the AH140 is based on the Iver Huitfeldt. But the AH140 is a base design and uses the Iver Huitfeldt hull, which has proved to be excellent, but fitted out with a British-standard, proven electronic systems fit and engines. The AH140 is then finally fitted out to suit the customer requirements, so the versions sold to the Royal Navy (Type 31), the Poles (Miecznik type) and Indonesia are all slightly different to each other’s specification, mainly in the armaments. If purchased, the Danes will also have a slightly different ship, but one that has electronics that work and can coordinate with other NATO navies.

Tuesday

Good morning everyone, not a bad morning. Dull, but at least it’s dry and reasonably warm. The latest news on the Liebore Deputy Leader is there are six hats in the ring: Lady Nugee, Louise Haigh, Bridget Phillipson, Bell Ribeiro-Addy and two no-chancers nobody has ever heard of. I think presented with that lot on a ballot paper I’d abstain.

Following the hugely successful Reform conference, it is now time for the TUC conference to be held in Brighton. Yesterday, the Unite General Secretary, Sharon Graham, ‘warned’ the Government not to water down the Employment Rights Bill because it was part of Liebore’s promise to the workers of the country. This is interesting because I don’t think it is anything to do with the working population. It is actually all about the power of the unions. They see the bill as improving their powers and, of course, that is good for them. They couldn’t care less about the effect it has on the nation’s finances.

When HS2 tunnelled through the Chilterns, they excavated some 2.6 million cubic metres of chalk subsoil, which landed up in huge mounds around the area where there is also the temporary factory making the concrete tunnel segments. The chalk is slowly being used to create chalk downlands, a type of environment that is in short supply in the area. Eventually, the aim is to turn the whole 124-hectare site into chalk downs. At the moment, they have created over 50 hectares, so they still have a way to go and it seems to be growing well in the seeded areas. The land is being sculpted to run off into ponds and wetlands to catch the water, and the ponds are already filling. In addition, there are plans to plant 60,000 trees, mainly beech, which is native to the area. Eventually, the plan is to graze cattle under the trees and to have paths and trails through the chalk downlands. No wonder the whole thing is costing so much.

The Liebore National Executive Committee met yesterday and came up with the rules for the election for the Deputy Party Leader. Candidates have to be in by Thursday, and each candidate must be nominated by 80 MPs. Of course, the lefties are complaining it’s not fair, as time is short and nominations high, and according to them favours the right of the party. However, I hear that whoever is elected, they will not be Deputy PM. That job remains with Mastermind Lammy.

So, the Froggy PM lost a vote of confidence in the French Parliament yesterday and is expected to resign today. Then it is down to President Macaroon to make the next move. He could nominate a fifth PM in three years or hold another General Election. Whichever he chooses, he is on a sticky wicket. Another PM is unlikely to last very long with the financial problems that France has. On the other hand, the polls show the country is evenly split between Left and Right, so a new Parliament isn’t likely to be able to do anything decisive.

The BBC’s replacement MasterChef judges for both the amateur and professional series have been announced, and they have gone along the safe line for both programmes. On the professionals’ programme, Gregg Wallace is replaced by Matt Tebbutt from Saturday Kitchen. The other two judges remain as Marcus Wareing and Monica Galetti. On the amateur series, where both Wallace and John Torode have gone, the new judges are Grace Dent and Anna Haugh. Well, I can’t complain about Tebbutt or Haugh, but I don’t like Dent. Something about her ruffles my fur.

I read that last year scientists worked out that the Earth’s core had stopped rotating in line with the Earth’s crust. The scientists tell us that both the outer, liquid, and inner, solid core are affected, not that you would notice. They think it started to slow down in 2009 and may even reverse direction, something that seems to happen about every 35 years. It makes little noticeable difference to you humans, possibly slowing the rotation of the planet by milliseconds, which you will never notice. Once, several millennia ago, when the rotation reversed, the magnetic poles switched. Can you imagine the chaos if magnetic north was suddenly south? It could be a bit odd. Would birds fly north in winter?

Wednesday

Hi folks, another showery morning, but I managed to get out and back in the dry. Are we going to see a new Ambassador to the USA? I rather hope so, as I don’t know how Mandy was appointed in the first place, someone who was twice slung out of the Cabinet. Now he has been shown to be very close to Jeffrey Epstein. Mandy has always proved to be extremely slippery, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him wriggle out of this one.

I hear that Mad Red Ed Millipede refused to move department in the reshuffle. This shows just how weak Legohead is, because any strong PM would have taken a refusal to move as a resignation and sent him to the backbenches. But one other bit of Millipede news. Do you remember his recent boast about having a heat pump in his London home? What he didn’t mention is that his second home in his Doncaster constituency has a gas boiler, and he charges both gas and electricity bills to expenses. Do as I say, not as I do.

Starting earlier this month, American Airways have been flying an Airbus A321XLR daily between Philadelphia and Edinburgh. Not really a surprise, as this is a seasonal route. What is a little odd is that these flights are empty of passengers and cargo and are simply to train a pool of pilots ready for the new planes to be introduced into full service. American intends to use its new A321XLR on thin routes across the Atlantic and needs a group of pilots trained on both the aircraft and North Atlantic crossing procedures. Hence the investment in 20 return training flights, which will give them Check Pilots capable of supervising the required new pilots.

The MoD has given out a few more details of its requirements for the proposed Type 83 air defence destroyer. The ship is still in the basic design stage, well before it even goes out to tender. Apparently, it would have up to 128 missile tubes, laser weapons, decoys, automatic cannons and deployable drones. But the interesting thing is that it would be a ‘mother’ ship for up to six smaller vessels known as “deployed sensor effector platforms”. These would each carry an additional 32 Vertical Launch Tubes and their own sensors. These ships would only need a nominal crew of 8 to 12, but could operate autonomously in the event of action. What is intriguing is that the current standard Mk 41 VLS can take up to four missiles, depending on the exact type of missile loaded. One Type 83 and six robot helpers would have a lot of firepower.

The new broadcasting deal between the BBC, Sky and the Women’s Super League contains a clause new to British football. The broadcasters now have the right to interview managers mid-match. The BBC and Sky can each only interview a manager once, so the BBC interview with the Arsenal manager, Renée Slegers, at half-time on Saturday has quickly used up their one interview with Arsenal. The broadcasters are also interviewing injured players in the middle of each half, sometimes during play but often during a break in play. Apparently, these short interviews are designed to appeal to young people who are said to prefer short interviews. Can’t they concentrate for more than 30 seconds?

I read that British defence company Supacat has won its first ever export order. It has won a contract with the Czech Ministry of Defence for 18 of their HMT Mark 3 Extenda vehicles. In British Army service, this is known as the Jackal 3 Extenda. I hear the vehicles will be equipping the Czech Army’s 601st Special Forces Group. This is a use similar to our own special forces, who used it in Afghanistan. Apparently, there are a wide range of equipment modules available for the all-terrain vehicles for comms and armaments. I hope this is an export breakthrough for Britain.

In Germany, the standing of the United States has sunk to rock bottom. After the Second World War, American product became very popular, with things like American jeans becoming much sought after, and American cigarettes becoming a second currency. Now, American companies are doing their utmost to cut their connections to the US. McDonald’s emphasise its use of German ingredients, and Tesla says its cars are made in Germany. The latest to join in is Coca-Cola, who have started advertising that it is ‘Made in Germany’, a slogan started in the UK before WW2 to try to stop the British population buying goods made in Hitler’s Germany.

Thursday

Hello folks, a sunny morning here in London, so a dry trip to the earth behind the gardener’s shed. However, there are going to be thunderstorms this afternoon, according to the TV weatherman. Legohead must be extremely proud of himself, as he has single-handedly managed to get England football supporters to stop singing about ‘10 German Bombers’ and ‘No surrender to the IRA’. At the last two internationals, the supporters have all united in a new chant: ‘Keir Starmer’s a Wanker’, and it came over loud and clear on the TV. He must be very proud.

News from the City of Kingston upon Hull that the empty Portland Hotel is expected to apply for planning permission to turn it into a House of Multiple Occupancy. I’m not sure how it would work with 122 rooms full of immigrants. The HMO rules are quite strict as concerns cooking facilities, washing facilities, fire alarms, fire doors with automatic closers, and common areas. None of this comes cheaply, and so who is going to pay? Is this the new Government plan, to convert hotels into HMOs? If so, it is going to cost a fortune and take ages to convert all of them.

On Saturday, England played and hammered Australia in the Women’s Rugby World Cup. The match took place at Brighton’s Amex Stadium, and the organisers got a bit of a surprise as the capacity crowd ate all the food on sale and drank the stadium dry of beer. There seem to have been numerous complaints from the mainly female crowd about the shortage of food and beer. I guess the organisers didn’t expect the women to drink beer, but this was a rugby match. The following day, New Zealand played Ireland at the same stadium, again in front of a capacity crowd, but this time the organisers had learnt a lesson and had brought in additional supplies.

You have probably heard of the Lockheed Martin top-secret development factory called the Skunk Works. It is where aircraft are developed, manufactured and supported in secret, only to emerge into public view many years later. I was surprised to learn that BAE Systems have their equivalent, called the Falcon Works. The idea of both is that they can develop things quickly, out of the public eye. Now I hear they are to work together to rapidly develop an electronic warfare craft, capable of being launched from many different platforms, disrupting enemy electronics and being recovered for reuse.

I see that Ukraine has opened its first railway line built to the 4’ 8½” standard gauge. All its tracks have previously been built to the Russian 5’ 0” gauge. What rather annoyed me was the statement from the European Investment Bank Vice-President, who loaned Ukraine the money to build the 22 km line, who said the line was built to the ‘European’ standard. It was much more than that. It was built to the ‘Standard’ gauge used by much of the world. Invented by George Stephenson and made the British Standard by Act of Parliament in 1832, and used across the world thanks to the British Empire. Typical of the EU, wanting to claim something we invented as theirs.

At the US Open tennis, Emirates Airways were the official airline sponsor and, as a result, offered food from its First-Class menu to guests in the prestigious Emirates Suite at the Arthur Ashe Lounge. I hear that guests could indulge in unlimited caviar with all the extras like hard-boiled egg yolk and white onion. There were also canapés, sushi, and artisan cheeses with fig and dates. You might like this sort of thing, but I would much prefer a chicken leg.

At the moment, there are 129 brands manufacturing electric vehicles in China, and the Chinese government thinks this is too many. Consequently, they are introducing a law that bans selling at discounted prices. This will force numerous makers out of business, as they are not competitive without a government top-up when they lose money by discounting. One of the big EV makers, BYD, predicts that only 15 makers will survive.

Friday

Hi everyone, sunny and chilly when I wandered down the garden. Another awful news morning for Legohead. First, the latest growth figures show it was zero percent in July. Then hospital waiting lists have gone up for the second month running. Finally, there were a host of local by-elections spread around the country yesterday. I think there were 6, but only 5 counted overnight. Of those, 1 went to the Tories and 4 went to Reform. 3 of the seats Reform gained had previously been Labour and one Tory. I nearly forgot, there is a rumour going round No. 10 that the Prince of Darkness is threatening to take Legohead with him.

Rather strange wording yesterday when Legohead announced the sacking of the Prince of Darkness, Lord Peter Mandelson, as the British Ambassador to the United States. The announcement said the Prime Minister had asked the Foreign Secretary to ‘withdraw’ Mandelson as our Ambassador. Why can’t they just tell the truth? He has sacked the man, as it was the only option left open to him. This really shows up the whole vetting process the Prince of Darkness went through before he was appointed. Lots of questions on how much Legohead knew before he appointed the Prince of Darkness to such an important position. It was highly controversial in the first place, considering how he had already been sacked from government twice before. Is being sacked three times a new record?

I read that Cambodia Airways has signed a Memorandum of Understanding for the purchase of 10 Chinese COMAC 909 airliners, with options for 10 more. This will make the airline the fourth outside China to operate the short-range jet. The other three, Indonesia Air, Lao Airlines, and VietJet Air, only operate 7 909s between them. Consequently, this is an important deal for the Chinese plane maker. I wonder just how good a deal the Chinese cut the Cambodians to get this order.

A snippet of strange news emerged yesterday with the opening of an inquest into the death of 24-year-old Omar Sai Posani, an Indian seaman on board the P&O ship Iona. On August 28th, with the Iona on a 7-day cruise to the fjords, a fellow seaman found him hanging in his cabin. There is no other information available, and the inquest has been adjourned until July 27th, 2026. I wonder if they hope we will have forgotten about it by then, and most of the witnesses will have finished their 9-month contracts and returned to India or the Philippines.

It seems that it is not just Manchester City who are in trouble with the football authorities over financial regulations. Chelsea have now received over 70 charges of breaching FA rules between 2009 and 2022. The charges cover a wide range of regulations: rules on agents, third-party ownership and the use of intermediaries. These charges all seem to have occurred under the ownership of Roman Abramovich and now have to be faced by the new owners. I wonder if any of this came up when they did their due diligence.

So, with the withdrawal of Lady Nugee and Paula Baker, the Liebore Deputy Leader election is between two non-entities, Bridget Phillipson and Lucy Powell. I suspect that Legohead would prefer Phillipson to win. He did leave her in place as the Education Secretary at the recent reshuffle, and word is he encouraged her to stand. On the other hand, he sacked Lucy Powell as Leader of the House and dumped her out of government. She could well not be his greatest supporter. However, I must say I was delighted to see that Nugee had withdrawn, because it was obvious she couldn’t reach the 80 MP nomination target. She is clearly not as popular as she thinks she is, as she only managed 13 nominations.

Over in Brazil, the state of Roraima has been connected to the country’s grid. The project to connect Roraima has only taken 14 years and has been badly delayed because of environmental protests and the power lines crossing Indigenous lands. According to President Lula, ‘Brazil’s interconnected energy system is a model for the world.’ That seems a little strange to me. Most European countries not only have their own grids but are interconnected with each other. We certainly are, with interconnectors to Ireland (both Republic and North), France, Belgium, Norway, and Denmark. President Lula took the opportunity to suggest that other South American countries should join up with them.

Saturday

Good morning, people. Gosh, there are a lot of heavy showers about this morning, and I have been dodging them. It’s the big march in town today, and there are thousands of people about already in Whitehall. I don’t think I have ever seen so many, but I bet the BBC and the lefty media play it down.

For this week’s cat story, I bring you the tale of Clinker, Titch and Ash, three young black cats with yellow eyes. The North Yorkshire Moors Railway station at Grosmont recently lost their mouser to old age. The station has a host of sheds and outbuildings, and the cat was essential for keeping the rodent population under control. When the incumbent died, the decision was made to get a replacement, but before anything could be done, the three young cats were found living rough on the site. Apparently, they are still in training and get tired quickly, but there is hope that they will soon spend less time napping and more time mousing and greeting visitors.

British Airways have recently tightened up their aircrew rules, particularly what they can and can’t do in uniform. For example, if they use a BA flight to ‘commute’ to the start of their duty, they must not do it in uniform. On a layover, they are not allowed to take photos or videos in their hotel room. And while in uniform, they can only drink water in public areas, although it is OK to drink tea, coffee or soft drinks in staff canteens or rest areas. In recent times, other airlines have eased their rules, but BA have gone in the opposite direction. I don’t know why.

A few weeks ago, I told you that the ‘wet wipe’ island in the Thames near Hammersmith Bridge was to be removed. Now I hear that all 114 tonnes of accumulated waste have been removed. Among the rubbish removed were about 5 million wet wipes, towels, scarves, trousers, and a set of false teeth. Two eight-tonne excavators have been working for three weeks to rake up and sieve the island, allowing the silt to remain and the rubbish to be collected and removed. Thames Water blamed the public for flushing wet wipes and other non-degradable things down the loo. I blame Thames Water for dumping the sewage in the river.

At a recent employment tribunal, the judge ruled that it was legal to reject someone for employment if the employer felt someone else would fit the team better. A woman who had been rejected for a job claimed that it had been unfair because there was a ‘British’ culture at the company that included all the employees going to the pub, and she didn’t drink or socialise with fellow employees. The judge gave the hypothetical example of an office where everyone supported Arsenal, where it would be quite within the law to reject a Spurs supporter and hire another Arsenal supporter in preference, as they would be a better fit. The woman lost the case.

Following the creation of Edgewing, the consortium company that will develop the Anglo/Japanese/Italian sixth-generation fighter planes, the engine makers have moved closer to a similar set-up. Rolls-Royce, Avio Aero and IHI have signed an agreement to jointly develop the all-new engine for the GCAP project. Until now, the demonstrator engine has been the work of the three companies collaborating, but the new agreement will set up a single company to develop the engine, in a similar way to the company developing the airframe, systems and sensors.

For my final story of the week, I see that the Arsenal Women’s move to play all their Women’s Super League matches at the Emirates Stadium this year seems to have paid off financially after just one game. Last year, they played just six of their league matches at the Emirates and drew huge crowds, prompting the move from the 4,000-capacity stadium in Boreham Wood that was their previous home. It has just been announced that the women have sold 17,000 season tickets. That is an enormous, guaranteed income, even without the extras like programmes, souvenirs, food and drink that supporters will buy. For their first home game of the season, the crowd was over 38,000 against the team that was promoted last season. Expect 60,000 crowds when they play at home to Chelsea, Tottenham, Manchester City, Manchester United and Liverpool. No wonder they can afford to pay the first £1 million transfer fee for a woman player.

Well, that’s me done for the week and it’s nap time. I’m not chancing a windowsill nap this afternoon today. It seems to be pouring with rain every twenty minutes. The rain comes on so quickly I don’t think I could get indoors before being soaked. So I think it’s the Thatcher Room today. Everyone seems to be scared to go there, perhaps they think it’s haunted by her ghost. Chat to you all next week.
 

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