Sort Out Yer Glutes!

Sort out yer glutes!

Thus spake my sports physio after I turned up in his surgery with chronic back pain, like I couldn’t get out of bed without screaming. Now he’s good, so good in fact that he travels all over the country fixing up silly buggers like me who will insist on overstressing their body to do sporty things, so I do listen to what he says, more or less. In this case it was less.

However, I should have remembered and noticed the smile on his face as I lowered my body onto his couch, that all physiotherapists are closet psychopaths. One finger is all it took to make me scream. “I thought it was there,” says he, followed by, “you should have come to see me with this a bit sooner.” Well, you know how it is, you hurt yourself and hope it’ll go away in a couple of days, normally it does but this time it hadn’t, I’d waited a month.

Thereafter, a few needles, didn’t work, followed by a bit of massage, then “get up off the couch.” Now that last bit is easier said than done, you’ve been laying face down for half an hour, your nose is streaming snot and that area where the problem is has been “massaged.” Whimpering ensued, did he help, did he ****.

Thereafter it’s into the gym and, “Let’s try a few exercises.” I did, he watched, “we” tried a few more, I managed them with minimal pain. “Maybe try this one,” he actually demonstrated it. Down on the floor I go and give it a try, “Strewth mate, that hurts.” I knew what was coming, “That’s the one you have to do, every day without fail, just that one because the others have done nothing,” i.e, I didn’t whimper. “Start with three sets of five, don’t try to increase that amount too soon, you may have difficulty getting up.” That was the understatement of the century.

Back to his office and we have a chat about back pain. If you have ever had dealings with a physio then you’ve probably heard the same belief expressed, in my case because I know him well it was, “Sort out yer glutes, they’re not just for sitting on!” Off home I head with a wallet £60 lighter, now that hurt.

I set a time aside every day to do the sets, five minutes for the exercise and the same for getting up off the floor afterwards. Initially, it hurt, a hot water bottle helped a bit and I kept going. After about 10 days I thought I’d push it up a bit so I put in another set, that was a bad move, but this is how we learn. A fortnight later there was finally some indication of improvement and this time an increase didn’t leave me hurting. Six weeks in and it has been sorted to such an extent that I could get into the pool and swim again, not a lot, but it was progress of a sort.

Now I added a couple of resistance band exercises to help even more with the strengthening, even though he said don’t. I think I got it right too, as my thighs have really strengthened and my knees don’t creak any more.

About those glute muscles, there are three; maximus, medius and minimus. Now muscles move bones about joints, and the Glutes are no exception, additionally, there is one particular muscle in the area that can give problems and it is called The tensor fasciae latae (TFL.) There are exercises to fix them all.

All of these muscles are used for several reasons but the main ones are to stabilise the pelvis and to control the hip movements. Now we sit for far too long and these muscles tend to get “slack,” then you move suddenly (particularly with a twist) and things go wrong. Often the pain transfers to the lower back and you immediately think, “Ouch, disk, sciatica, etc.” Now here’s a little physio statement, “About 80% of back pain emanates from the gluteal muscles.” Tighten those up and Roberto is your dad’s brother.

Here are the exercises: usual caveat applies, if you’re ill or have limited movement ask a doctor or physio first.

Firstly tighten up those gluteal muscles, this is the one exercise that everyone over 50 should do every day.

Will Harlow at HT Physio explains it perfectly in this video, follow what he says, try to do it gently at first. As he says, it is important to get the heel up and back. I do this laying down with my back against a wall, trying to keep my heel against the wall, all of the way up and down. Hint: don’t wear shoes, it’s a bugger to get rubber marks off the paintwork. Will has some extremely good videos on YouTube.

Resistance bands: Sitting upright in a straight-backed chair, start with a light band then move up to heavy. Bungy cord works or even putting your hands on the outside of the knees and pushing inwards whilst pushing your knees outward. If you have a band then put it around each leg about 4” above the knees, feet together then force your legs outward slowly against the band, then slowly in again. Do it 10 times, rest and try again. Build up the reps slowly and after a few days you should notice a marked difference.

Some people don’t like bands but I think they’re good; they’re basically the old Charles Atlas dynamic tension idea.

If you would like to learn more about anatomy and muscles of the body then Sam Webster is quite good to watch. He has lots of videos, here’s the first one.

 

© FJ 2024