This Septic Eye – The Acceptance Speech

viciousbutfair, Going Postal
This Septic Eye
Image by agnesliinnea from Pixabay

ER: “Philip, is he still here then, the Septic Eye fellow?”

DoE: “I think so, thought he’d buggered off but he’s back like a bad penny. What does he bloody want now?”

Thanks Maj and thanks Phil, it’s not everyday you get such an illustrious introduction. Thank you both, I’m such a huge fan of both of you, shame about most of your kids though, (pauses for laughter, carries on regardless).

I felt I should just say a few thanks, perhaps in the style of Gwyneth Kate Fucking Paltrow, that is her full name by the way, I checked on Wiki.
I was really touched, (can you show me where, on the dolly?), no really, I was genuinely touched with all your kind and thoughtful comments on Septic Eye 12 and I also needed to say thank you.

We are such a supportive community in difficult times on here and long may it last, my heartfelt thanks for that, also my sincere gratitude for your votes in the April Comp, I believe I may have won some Westler’s tinned hot dogs.
I have elected to collect those from Argos as I don’t have a tin shaped letterbox but still I’m grateful. It’s a bit of a walk from my house to Argos but, as a pensioner, it represents a full week’s food for me.

This is a unique site, everyone here can submit an article and everyone has a voice on GP. Every single article deserves, at the very least, a tin of hot dogs and my genuine compliments to every contributor on here.
Don’t just seethe and bitch in the background, just put something together, it doesn’t have to be profound, and then you can mail it off to Bob. I’ve survived on sheer banality for quite a while so I am indeed living proof it can be achieved.
You can’t be off topic because you actually set your own topic, you don’t even have to wait for some fat fuck to moderate it, just do it, you may surprise yourself.

A couple of observations in closing, firstly on the disgraceful Tommy Robinson affair. My initial reaction on the debacle was, is this arrogance or just downright stupidity on the part of our own very special Deep State?

I have known, for many years, that our Establishment is not even capable of organizing an evening of Pilsner and fellatio in Hamburg so their stupidity is indeed a supplementary, but not an altogether surprising, factor.
However, there is also a massive disregard for the ‘little people’, not just jockeys and the dwarf population but also the rest of us. This manifests itself in their handling of Brexit, immigration, the NHS scam, the egregious State broadcaster propagating their wretched agenda and the suppression of any voice of dissent.

As you all know, the full listing of their contempt would fill at least several A4 pages but the very peak, the apogee of their arrogance is the complete denial of our democracy. Democracy no longer exists, we are free only in the sense that we are free to do whatever they tell us to do.

I, for one, will never buy into their narrative and there are a couple of million on this island that share my viewpoint, there are also several million more, gently slumbering at this point in time, who will wake up with a snort of great British recalcitrance when the time comes, and I know that time will come.

They have treated the Tommy Robinson imprisonment as some minor parochial affair, a little bit of local business that can be cleared up with a spot fine, with a little bit of Soviet style interment, as if he was the only pesky fly in the ointment. This is the stupid part, not recognizing how deeply this touches so many of us.
They contrived to have some flaccid, impotent, out of touch, cardboard cut-out from the Justice system to send him to the pokey and somehow they thought that this will make it all okey-dokey?

Wrong fuckers, so wrong, because this has become a global cause célèbre, this has gone viral. Are you so stupid you couldn’t see this coming, you couldn’t see beyond the second paragraph on page one?
Apparently not, but now this is your worst nightmare, you are now the ones in deep merdre, whatever happens now, you lose.

Over 500,000 signatures world wide and counting, at least half a million voices around the world, half a million and so many, many more are now watching every move you make, Even your lapdog, lick spittle msm running dogs were forced to report it, you didn’t even reckon on that, did you?
At least half a million involved and several million watching, watching every step you take, whatever happens now you lose.

If something happens to our Tommy, if he is incapacitated in any way, or if the worst happens, God forbid and it had better not, then you are all screwed for an eternity. You are then down in the darkest basement, British democracy, you are down there with the Tiananmen Square murderers, you can break bread with the Gulag enforcers of the brutal Soviet regime and you can link hands with Adolf’s Final Solution.

If he survives, and it is in your best interest that he does, do you seriously think all of this goes away? If so then you really are terminally both stupid and arrogant. Every which way you lose, your best option is to find a technicality to get him released and have him tagged for 30 days, you have arrived at your least worst option, I hope you are smart enough to work that out, I’ll be watching you along with the rest of the world and we’re a very tough crowd too, I’ll be watching you, every game you play.


I spent part of the Bank Holiday weekend in God’s waiting room, visiting an old friend, in her final days, in one of our end of life establishments. Not many laughs to be had although I did find one.
This was a privately owned establishment with rooms at the premium rate of almost £1300 per week plus laundry costs.

Not for the first time, my thoughts wandered to our jewel in the crown, how could they not provide such a service gratis for every terminally ill patient in the land, with the massive and increasing budget they receive every year how could they mismanage a system so badly that dying people couldn’t have the dignity of passing away peacefully without the aid of an accountant and a calculator?

The answer, in some part, is that we pay yet again for the privilege, the local council, us in other words, pays £1000 per week for this care whilst the recipient of care pays the remaining £300. That is £1300 per week to an establishment with over 100 rooms or £130,000 plus per week for the owners of this enterprise, there’s no business like death business.

The enterprise is mostly staffed by minimum wage kids with blue uniforms and matching trolleys, I noted just one nurse in the living room, living room, my little joke there, where a couple of dozen care recipients were sprawled and asleep in front of a flickering TV screen in the oppressive heat, there’s no business like death business.

We went out onto the terrace, all the friends and relatives of the inmate of room 17, we enjoyed the wind tunnel of breeze in the humid, suffocating heat of the day, we relaxed amidst the birdsong and the persistent coughing of the near dead and we chatted awkwardly, aware that at least one of our party would not be with us for much longer.

I spotted a verandah overhead and enquired what that might be for, someone advised this was where the dementia patients had their lunch. I offered the opinion that that could be fun, say 30 people all sat there waiting to be served and the blue coated minimum wage trolley asks, “Who ordered the roast chicken?” 30 pairs of eyes stare blankly and there is only silence finally broken by one voice that pipes up, “Cheese on toast.”

I said there was a joke in there somewhere, that’s the only way I can deal with it so apologies to anyone who has a friend or relative in that particular boat but if I didn’t laugh I would just absolutely break down in tears.

I’m going now, I promise, more comebacks than Ole Blue Eyes, just one last thing, fuckity fuck off for the audio file guy, listen to it, he says it! Fuckity fuck off, he said it again, it’s brilliant

© Viciousbutfair 2018

Audio file