Question Time 18th April 2024
The Panel:
David TC Davies (Conservative)
Bridget Phillipson (Labour)
Carla Denyer (Green)
Richard Tice (Reform UK)
Venue: Buxton
A QT regular, Bridget Phillipson (not her real name, Bridget Maeve Dimery) is the Labour Member of Parliament for Houghton and Sunderland South and the current Shadow Secretary of State for Education.
Although claiming to be from Washington, a town neighbouring her constituency, Bridget was born further away in Gateshead. In interview Ms Phillipson recalls a ‘grim up north’ childhood which is also disingenuous. A stage school type, young Bridget played the violin and appeared in the TV series Byker Grove. Pictured here in her school uniform, Puffins will note the back yard, outside toilet, coal shed and emaciated siblings licking cobbles clean as their father beats them with a stick.
Or rather they won’t. Miss Phillipson poses in a pleasant and leafy suburban back garden. No matter how proletarian a picture Bridget invents for mainstream media, one thing she is careful not to repeat is the cheesy lefty mantra of being the first in her family to go to university. That’s because she can’t. Not quite an unemployed miner in clogs, her father was a teacher.
Posh Bridget left the North East at the first opportunity and is a graduate in Modern History from Hertford College, Oxford. Husband Lawrence Lionel Dimery is a financial services wallah, formerly of the Bank of England and currently a senior market risk analyst. Grammar school boy Lawrence is a graduate of University College London.
Puffins will be unsurprised to hear the 40-year-old mother of two has never had a job beyond a position at her Labour Party member mother’s taxpayer-funded charity.
Miss Phillipson copes with the cost of living crisis by accepting donations. Recent declarations on her register of parliamentary interests include £20,000 from a Mr Trevor Chinn, £80,000 from Stuart Roden and £14,000 from a Mr Waheed Ali.
Another Question Time regular, David TC Davies was on the programme as recently as last month. Puffins already know David is the Secretary of State for Wales and Conservative MP for Monmouth. He previously worked for Burrow Heath Shipping, the self-important name of his family’s lorry business. The 53-year-old amateur boxer has also served in the Special Constabulary and Territorial Army. Mr Davies is sound on Brexit, voted against ‘Gay’ ‘marriage’ and was booed by the National Black Police Officers Association. Hungarian wife Aliz is paid by you to be Mr Davies’s office manager.
Carla Denyer is a Green politician who has been a city councillor in nutty Bristol’s nutty Clifton Down ward since 2015. She is currently the co-leader of the party in England and Wales. Council Tax payers will be pleased to hear Denyer played a leading role in achieving the declaration of a climate emergency by Bristol City Council in 2018 – the first in Europe.
An engineer, c anny Carla preaches what she practices. Before moving into politics she worked in the wind energy sector. Denyer has campaigned for ethical investment and fossil fuel divestment and has participated in direct action campaigning against SUVs. Rather than go to China and tell the Communist Party to stop building coal-fired power stations, Carla bravely patrols the streets of Bristol’s posh Clifton and sticks Anti Social Behavior Orders on Chelsea tractors.
The 38-year-old has also run as a candidate for the Green Party in European and UK parliamentary elections. In the 2019 general election, the St Chad’s College, Durham, graduate finished runner-up in the Bristol West constituency. However, a full 29,000 votes behind Puffins favourite Thangam Debbonaire (not her real name).
Co-leading the Green Party being a part-time occupation, according to her LinkedIn profile, Ms Denyer also works for Adfree Cities, a network of groups across the UK that are concerned about the impacts of corporate advertising on our health, well-being, environment, climate, communities and the local economy. And is a steering group member for a research project which will ‘go beyond net zero’ by ‘remodelling’ housing built by councils between 1920-1940. QT Review HQ assumes ‘remodelling’ to mean ripping out the plebs’ central heating and disconnecting their electricity.
Puffins will be pleased to read that Carla is a member of ‘LGBTIQA+ Greens’ and defined to her local newspaper on ‘coming out day’ as being ‘bisexual or pansexual.’
Richard Tice is a former pupil of £40,000 a year (ex-VAT) Uppingham School. Sound on Brexit, Richard graduated in Construction Economics and Quantity Surveying from the University of Salford after which he joined the family property firm, Sunley Group, founded by grandfather Bernard Sunley. OU, the publication of record for old boys and girls of Uppingham School, reminds us the future Reform Party big wig abseiled 198 ft down the side of London’s Westminster Tower in 1978 to raise funds for the MacIntyre learning disabilities charity.
Not quite at the battered van full of Irish navvies end of the industry, an old newspaper advert gives Bernard Sunley and Sons Building Contractors address as 25 Berkeley Square, Mayfair, London W1.
Bernard & Sons announces themselves proud of the ‘many handsome buildings they have erected recently in London and the provinces’. Advisory staff are always at your service. This being 1958 the example illustrated is Cheapside House which was then nearing completion. This is a reference to 138 Cheapside, opposite St Paul’s Cathedral. Still there and since refurbished Puffins can have a look here. What do you think?
Richard’s squeeze is another QT regular, Isabel Oakeshott, one-time top-class totty now turned girl bully.
***
Speaking of girl’s school uniforms (and this is relevant on many levels), during a recent clear out your humble author found an aforementioned. Upon contacting the lady involved with the intention of returning it to its rightful owner, now resident in France, I received a rather curt reply. It would be rude to mention a lady’s age but suffice it to say, despite the reputation of the French female, she reports a change in shape across the intervening four decades which raises doubts surrounding her ability to fit into it.
Plus, posting to the better end of Loire Valley would attract €60 of ‘post-Brexit taxes’. No so, I was able to reply; EU taxes. A keeper of receipts as well as female school attire, I emailed her a pile of documentation showing I don’t pay VAT or extra postage on a mountain of bargains I purchase from the EU. And as for Japan…
Yet another victory for Brexit, plus I get to keep the school uniform. Should have voted Le Pen.
***
Question one addressed the conduct of MPs which the questioner asserted has reached an all-time low.
As an example, La Bruce missed out Angela Reynor’s embarrassment – despite her being the deputy leader of the Labour Party – and focused on a saddo we’ve never heard of who, apparently, as a matter of life and death requires money for ‘bad men’ in the middle of the night. Dear God.
All the political parties have a problem, countered David TC Davies. La Bruce interupted at once. Without realising the irony, she persisted in pointing out the Hugh Edwards-esque behaviour and subsequent cover-up. Why did the Conservative Party wait three months before addressing the honourable member and his expensive late-night needs? Davies, rightly, fobbed her off.
He continued by saying that the scrutiny MPs are under is high and therefore the standard of their behaviour should be too. He pointed out there are re-call petitions in the Westminster Parliament through which constituents can call a by-election. He suggested such a thing should be introduced in the Welsh Assembly.
As if summoning her inner bad girl, Bridget had dressed as an evil Disney queen with a black jacket over a dark blue dress and a thin but plunging neckline.
For once she didn’t bother with her usual fake Geordie accent while pretending to be concerned about the Conservatives covering up for Mark Pansies (while not mentioning Angela Rayner). There have been a number of times when Mr Sunak has been slow off the mark, especially regarding Mrs Braverman breaking the ministerial code and then being put back into the Cabinet.
Sorry, that should have read Mark Menzies.
La Bruce finally mentioned the A-R words with Angela Rayner being under investigation by Manchester Police. She said them so quickly one suspects she thought the mere mention of the Ginger Growler might set her mouth on fire. But why hasn’t Keir Starmer read the legal advice given to his deputy, she asked.
Angela Rayner has been absolutely clear, replied Bridget, again missing the irony. There was a difference here. Angela Rayner had been categorical. Richard Tice interrupted. Hang on. When Boris was under investigation, Angela had said he couldn’t carry on and must resign. Ah! Same standards not apply?
We all know where that went, replied Bridget. Is that where Angela is going, wondered Richard. Call a general election, said Angela.
A tranny in the audience with goggle specs and an Australian accent blamed all of this on the pressure MPs are under. Many of them are stepping down at the next election because of their mental health. As for honest Angela Rayner, they’re picking on a strong northern working-class woman who ‘stands up for the likes of me.’ Tranny suspicions confirmed. And it always seems to be white men who do it. White men like Mr Sunak? Oh. The carefully selected BBC audience clapped like seals.
Carla wanted parliament to become a normal workplace. She said most of the stories were coming from the Conservative Party. Grubby and bizarre. Out on your ear. The morals of the chamber would be improved with better working hours and greater diversity, especially the presence of more Jezzobels and Harlots these days known as single mothers.
La Bruce wondered, is there something of the atmosphere, the enclosed nature, the power plays? Was she still in the House of Thieves and Liars or had she strayed towards her own house House of Saville?
Nobody mentioned that Parliament is a cesspit beyond redemption and if it was like any other workplace, it would be closed down and demolished.
La Bruce turned to Richard Tice. His party, Reform UK, have one MP – Lee Anderson. Leaving the question, La Bruce found allegations of scandal in Reform’s former candidates. She said she couldn’t read them out because they were too vile but she did manage, ‘Africans have some of the lowest IQs in the world.’
The thing is to act quickly, replied Richard. Bridget interupted. Lee Anderson had been welcomed to Reform despite making racist remarks about Sadiq Khan. The seals clapped again. Buxton needs closed down and demolished. They weren’t racist, retorted Richard, adding that two hundred Labour MPs and councillors since the last election have been suspended or arrested. Lee Anderson talks for millions of people concerned about the (Palestine) marches going on week in week out, prompting hatred and anti-Semitism. La Bruce ignored this and returned to Reform’s ex-candidates unmentionable social media truths.
We check them and deal with them. The issue is that it is done quickly, assured Richard.
A gentleman in the audience asked if Richard supported Donald Trump.
It’s a matter for the American people. When he was president, the world was a safer place. ‘Absolute rubbish,’ spat the bad man in the audience, unsurprisingly wearing a black polo top below a shaved head, close-cropped grey beard and black-framed glasses. They clapped again.
We didn’t have the war in the Ukraine and we didn’t have the war in the Middle East did we, said Richard. And there wasn’t a retreat from Afghanistan, Mr Tice could have added.
‘Right’, said the bad man, ‘how do you explain to a ten-year-old child that we are going to drop bombs, erm, support the children of Ukraine and bring them into our own homes here, but if you’re in Palestine, we’re not going to do anything. We’re going to let bombs rain down on you and thirty thousand people are going to die.’ They clapped again like fools.
At which point I couldn’t take anymore and began ringing around my elderly relatives asking them to send money to make it stop.
© Always Worth Saying 2024
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