Larry’s Diary Week Three Hundred And Fifty

Monday

Good morning, my happy readers. Autumn is definitely here. Every morning recently has been chilly when I popped out, but dry and sunny, and it looks like it’s going to be like that for most of this week. I understand that Mascara Man has dropped the King in it this weekend. Just before King Big Ears was due to make a speech in the Caribbean on the evils of slavery, Mascara Man said he was minded to apologise for slavery. Of course, the king can’t say this. Politically, he has to follow government policy, and as the government has not announced anything, he is stuck.

Over the weekend, Robber Reeve came out with an article showing just how left-wing she is. In the Sunday Times, she wrote an article saying that we need to rejoin the European Union. Why would a backbencher think we are interested in the opinion of a failed chancellor who, it is rumoured, is about to resign as an MP to take a job in the City? I wonder if it is because she has just realised she can’t take a financial job for two years and is playing Mascara Man for a cabinet post.

I hear that there is a storm growing at St Hilda’s College, Oxford. Apparently, there is a trans lecturer who has taken to flaunting himself. I’ve seen a photo, and initially I thought it was a joke. The man is bald with an enormous bushy beard, huge (and I mean really huge) fake boobs, and wearing a dress. I hear he has attended meetings in a dress so short that he shows everything when he sits down. The female students feel that if they complain, they will be branded as transphobic. Are the college authorities blind? Surely, they can see what is happening.

Another rumour I am hearing is that Canada is to walk away from a large part of its planned order for the Lockheed Martin F-35. The original agreement was for 88 aircraft, but they were to be ordered in tranches. The first tranche of 30 has been ordered, but the word I hear is that the final 58 will not be. Instead, Canada will order a batch of Saab Gripens. But this is an interim order. What Canada really wants is to order the Anglo/Italian/Japanese GCAP sixth-generation fighter. Last week, BAE Systems and Canadian aircraft maker Bombardier signed an agreement to jointly work on advanced aircraft technology. Canada is already an observer nation on the GCAP project.

I read that on Saturday evening, a group of school friends were enjoying a Halloween house party in Chandlers Ford, near Southampton, when it was invaded by a mob of strangers. Five of the school friends, three 16-year-olds and two 17-year-olds, were stabbed. All five are seriously ill in hospital. The police say the group of party invaders were unknown, but they are checking CCTV and doorbell footage, as well as doing door-to-door calls.

An amazing bit of video on the internet shows a plane crash in Florida. A business jet with 11 on board went almost vertically down into the ground at the side of the road and was filmed on a dashcam. The plane dived in nose-first, forming a huge crater before exploding. The locals, who didn’t actually see the crash, couldn’t believe that it wasn’t a missile, as the explosion blew the plane into tiny bits. The first report included a conversation between the plane and Air Traffic Control, where the pilot talks of icing and then requests a new flight level as they are flying into freezing rain.

Sad Dick is being called out over a temporary speed limit it placed on the A20 from Sidcup to Swanley last year. The road normally has a 70mph limit, but for the works it was reduced to 40mph, catching out hundreds of motorists and raking in £6.6 million in fines. TfL says the road needed to be resurfaced after many drivers found the old surface very slippery. Many people weren’t happy with the poor signage and blame that. Temporary roadworks signs are supposed to be larger than regular road signs. But it was a judgement in the Crown Court that has really put the cat among the pigeons. The judge ruled that the person who signed off on the temporary speed limit was not entitled to do so, making around 60,000 people’s fines illegal. The convictions and fines should now be set aside, but Sad Dick is so far ignoring the judgement.

Tuesday

Hi folks, a chilly morning when I went out. Now I need to warm up my paws before I am fit for my duties. I see that Mascara Man is off to the Caribbean for a Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting. He is here less than ‘Never Here Keir’. Mind you, he has found an extra £40 million for ‘Green’ projects in the Caribbean. I suppose when you own £3 trillion, another £40 million is neither here nor there.

Shabana Mahmood showed her true colours on immigration yesterday with her announcement in the Commons. She has backed down on her proposed crackdown on doubling the time before granting indefinite leave to remain (ILR) and made it even more desirable for immigrants to come here. I see the changes are costed at £10 billion. So the poor old taxpayers are going to have to cough up once again for people who are costing us, while we lose our best workers overseas.

Sussex police have stopped warning riders of e-bikes and e-scooters who are doing so illegally. Instead, they are seizing them and taking them directly to a recycling plant where they are crushed. It is totally illegal to ride an e-scooter in public, and e-bikes are limited to 15.5mph by electric power. The electric power is supposed to cut out at 15.5mph, but it is not exactly illegal to go faster, you just have to pedal hard. If you have an e-bike where the motor can push you at over 15.5mph, you need to have tax, insurance and a licence to ride that bike in public.

It’s not only here in the U.K. that we have lots of strikes from people demanding big wage increases. In the Republic of Ireland, 300,000 public servants are planning to go on strike on the 12th of this month after turning down a 7.75% wage increase over two years. This is formed from a 6.75% National Award and 1% from local bargaining. However, this is not enough. The unions say there is a particular need to deal with low-paid workers, whom they define as anyone on less than €50,000 per annum.

A bill entering Parliament will make it illegal for parents to ignore their child’s demands to change gender. It would even be possible for parents to go to jail for refusing to accept that the child wants to be a cat. Well, as a cat, let me tell them they are right, they can’t become a cat; it is just not possible to become one at will. I wonder how long they would last if they had to eat cat food every day, from a bowl on the floor.

Today’s YouGov opinion poll makes for interesting reading. In their first poll since the budget, YouGov have Liebore crashing to just a 2-point lead. A while back, I saw polls giving them an eight or nine per cent lead, which had the left-wing press calling for a general election. No wonder MM has said he isn’t looking at going to the country. I bet the private polling has been showing them heading down for a while, and he wants to hang on to his majority for as long as he can.

The London Borough of Newham has an enormous and growing problem with a Galliard Homes development in Canning Town. The council had found a problem with the shared concrete slab that three tower blocks, Centurion Tower, Sovereign Tower and St Vincent’s Court, were built on in Canning Town. This has meant emptying the block while emergency structural repairs take place. Unfortunately the problem has just grown as two more blocks, Thanet Tower and Prince Court, have been found to also have the same problem as they sit on the same concrete transfer slab. I hear that 211 households have already been moved out of the first 3 blocks, there is mention of how many more will be displaced for the next two. I do wonder where Newham is housing all these people.

Wednesday

Good morning all to a grey but dry day here in London. When I went out it was colder than yesterday, so I was very quick! I must say I loved watching Mascara Man on the TV playing cricket in Antigua. He looked quite stylish when playing the ball but I loved it when he tried to take a quick run, got sent back and landed on his bum. It could be a parable on his government style.

The news coming in from the midterm elections in the USA are of a disaster for the Donald with Republicans losing both Congress and the Senate. It was just what the polls predicted. Mind you I don’t understand how California voted for a Senator who wants to ban barbecues, wants everyone to eat less meat, thinks there are six genders and that God is transgender. I find it intriguing that the US is turning to the left while Europe is turning to the right.

I told you on Monday about the trans lecturer in Oxford University. The row seems to be getting worse with the female students beginning to band together. However, the university has seen nothing wrong with having a male lecturer in a dress and false plastic boobs. The students say that Matt Rattley is acting out his sexual fetish and forcing young women to take part in his biochemistry lectures could amount to sexual harassment.

I hear Liebore has ordered its councils to dump their agreements with the Greens, most councils have agreed but a few are ignoring the central instruction. The reason is the Greens vote against Israel and being branded antisemitic. So, I suppose those that are refusing to dump the Greens are Islamists and antisemites. Is the Liebore party going to throw those councillors out of the party?

I had to have a quick look at the date, to ensure it wasn’t April Fool’s Day when I read this story. BAE Systems have come up with a temporary gun system that can be used on any ship that can carry a container. The package is a 40mm automatic Bofors gun mounted on top of a 40-foot standard shipping container. The idea is that if a ship is going somewhere dangerous, say the Straits of Hormuz, it can have the container mounted on top of a stack of containers to protect the ship from drones, missiles or fast attack craft. The container contains all the electronics and ammunition the gun needs. I wonder what the government thinks of arming our merchantmen.

So, Kellogg’s is giving up using rice kernels in Rice Krispies and Coco Pops. Instead, they will be made using rice flour and wheat flour and Kellogg’s say they look and taste the same as ever. But there is a problem with the new formula. The wheat flour contains gluten so if you are gluten intolerant, it’s no more Rice Krispies for you. I wonder if the supermarket own brands are gluten-free.

With MM on a jolly to the sun, Louise Haigh stood in for him at PMQs today. As per the convention, Bad Enoch stood down and was deputised for by Alex Berghart the shadow Secretary for Northern Ireland. Berghart asked how much money the government was spending on working age welfare. I don’t know if Haigh knew the answer or not, but the answer she gave was that the government was committed to reducing welfare costs, which is not an answer to the question asked. Berghart then answered his own question, stating that according to the government’s published numbers, the amount was £183 billion a year which is more than is spent on defence, education and policing combined. I think Haigh knew the answer but was too embarrassed to say.

Eurofighter, the consortium that builds the Typhoon fighter, says it sees orders for over 200 new aircraft in the next couple of years. The Typhoon was supposed to be dead by now, replaced by the various versions of the F-35. But, for one reason or another, mostly of the USA’s making, there are countries that don’t want to or can’t buy the F-35. Turkey was banned from buying the F-35 because it bought Russian anti-aircraft systems. Others won’t buy the plane because it comes with software controlled by the Americans, it has a long lead time, or it is too costly to operate. So, who is going to place these orders? As I hear it, there are talks going on with Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Austria, who all want more planes. In addition, Portugal is looking to replace its F-16s. If this happens, it is good news for the UK. 37% of the aircraft is built in Britain, Rolls-Royce builds the engines and the electronics are built in Edinburgh. In all, it accounts for 20,000 British jobs.

Thursday

It’s a good morning to you, my friends. Well, it was just like yesterday when I went out before breakfast, grey, grotty and chilly. Not so for Mascara Man, who is still out in the Caribbean. After seeing him fall over yesterday, this morning’s video is even more embarrassing. MM and mad Red Ed trying to play steel drums was funny enough, but they seem to have missed the irony that the drums were made from old oil drums on the day it is announced that Liebore is to pass legislation to make it illegal to drill for oil in the North Sea. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I know a lot of you will be interested in my first story today. Italian chef Davide Tamburella was sacked from his job at the La Costa restaurant in Brisbane for refusing to put pineapple on a pizza. He is reported to have said that it was "an insult to his culture". Pineapple on pizza is not something you will find in Italy. You might find it in the U.K., and you probably will find it in the USA, but it is just not an Italian thing. The chef took his employer to court but lost the case, not because he refused to use pineapple, but because he was out of time to bring it. Tamburella now works in another Brisbane restaurant where there is no pineapple on the menu.

The Bank of England has put the interest rate up by a quarter of a percentage point today. The Bank says that the new rate will be 4%, and it is purely because of the war in the Middle East. The Bank has a Government target of 2%, but it looks like it’s a long way away from hitting it. I suspect that this is not going to be the last increase we see, as the war is ongoing, and I hear prices will be going up again in the new year.

A new Harry Potter store opened on London’s Oxford Street yesterday, and there were huge crowds outside waiting for it to open at the appointed time of 10 am. I am amazed that a fictional boy wizard could attract so much attention, especially when the books featuring him were for children and it is term time. I hate to think what the crowd would have been like if the store had opened last week when it was half-term. I hear that people flew in from Europe for the opening and were greeted by protesters against JK Rowling’s trans views. I wonder if they have any Hogwarts stuff suitable for an old moggy.

There is a bill going through Parliament at the moment about trans conversion. The Bill proposes all sorts of odd things that are not good for the general public. For example, if you misgender someone, you will be committing an offence. As an employer, you will be guilty if you allow an employee to misgender someone. But perhaps the most outrageous thing is that if a parent ignores a child who wants to change gender, they could go to jail.

SpaceX is being paid $845 million to dispose of the International Space Station. The ISS is getting very old and has sprung several leaks, and NASA is taking it out of service. They have several options. They could push it up higher, to an orbit where there is already loads of space junk, and let it break up, but this would treble the junk already up there. They could just let its orbit decay and hope that when it crashed back to Earth, it would miss inhabited areas. When NASA did this with a small satellite once before, it dropped debris over Australia, and they were fined for littering. The option that NASA has chosen is to pay SpaceX to send up a craft that is effectively a space tug and attach it to the ISS. Another craft will then evacuate the ISS, and when the crew is clear, the tug will push the ISS out of orbit and steer it into the deep Pacific.

Eurofighter, the consortium that builds the Typhoon fighter, says it sees orders for over 200 new aircraft in the next couple of years. The Typhoon was supposed to be dead by now, replaced by the various versions of the F-35. But, for one reason or another, mostly of the USA’s making, there are countries that don’t want or can’t buy the F-35. Turkey was banned from buying the F-35 because it bought Russian anti-aircraft systems. Others won’t buy the plane because it comes with software controlled by the Americans, it has a long lead time, or it is too costly to operate. So, who is going to place these orders? As I hear it, there are talks going on with Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Austria, who all want more planes. In addition, Portugal is looking to replace its F-16s. If this happens, it is good news for the UK. 37% of the aircraft is built in Britain, Rolls-Royce builds the engines, and the electronics are built in Edinburgh. In all, it accounts for 20,000 British jobs.

Friday

Hi everyone, it was yet another chilly morning when I popped out, but at least it is dry and, for a change, sunny. No sign of Mascara Man, although I hear he is back from the Caribbean. As it is Friday, I bet he has gone home to Warrington.

I was delighted to see that the murderer, Vikram Dagwa, failed with his appeal over his prison sentence yesterday. He was appealing against both being found guilty and the length of his sentence, which he claimed was excessive, and lost on both counts. But better still, the CPS was appealing over the leniency of the sentence. The judges agreed with the CPS, and his sentence was increased from 21 years to 25 years. I rather suspect that he will not be having a good time in prison and will be spending a lot of time alone.

So, Russell Brand has been found guilty of one count of rape and three of sexual assault. I can’t say I was surprised, having heard what some of the women said in court and Brand’s reputation. Perhaps the most surprising thing was that he was found not guilty of two rape cases and a case of attempted sexual assault. Brand was remanded in custody and will be sentenced on Monday. The Metropolitan Police also say that two further cases of rape have been reported to them, and the CPS has been handed the files to decide on whether to prosecute.

I saw the new Reform Shadow Armed Forces Minister, Angus MacIntyre, at the Reform press conference yesterday. What an impressive man! He has served in the Army, the RAF Regiment and at the Ministry of Defence. My, did he know how to captivate an audience and talk common sense. I suspect the troops who worked under him were happy to do so. I hear Reform have a lot more people lined up for other shadow positions. Of course, with only eight MPs, Reform needs to bring in people from outside Parliament to take shadow positions. I suspect that Wing Commander Angus MacIntyre will stand to be an MP at the next general election, if not at an earlier by-election. I suspect he would make an excellent MP. If I could vote for him, I would do so.

Gianni Infantino, the head of FIFA, has been in trouble for a while now, but he appears to have excelled himself recently when he showed off his arrogance. Three of his daughters were flying from Miami Airport to Qatar on Qatar Airways, so Infantino had his people contact the airport to arrange for them, and their dogs, to get VIP treatment. I understand that the normal system in operation at airports is that VIPs get special treatment, and relatives travelling with them would also get special treatment. However, his daughters were on their own, so Infantino was disappointed. Surely Infantino has travelled all over the world many, many times and knows the rules.

I told you how October had been Russia’s worst month for troop losses for the whole of the war against Ukraine, with 54,000 dead and wounded. Since then, things have got no better, with the record number lost in a single day being recorded at 2,250 and then, two days later, that being beaten at over 2,500. Of course, this has led to a week with the highest losses of the war. The Institute for the Study of War says that Russia is suffering over 3.5 times as many losses as Ukraine. What an awful war.

The RAF is supposed to eventually have 128 F-35s, but we currently have only 47. We did have 48, but one fell off HMS Queen Elizabeth back in 2021 and has never been replaced. The next batch is supposed to be 27 aircraft, but has not been ordered yet and, due to production already being allocated to customers, if ordered today, they cannot be delivered before 2030. The version we operate from our carriers is the F-35B, Short Take-Off, Vertical Landing, and the next 27 were supposed to be this type. However, it seems we will be ordering 12 F-35As and 15 F-35Bs. The ‘A’ version is standard take-off and landing. Apparently, we are going to use them for two things, pilot conversion from other aircraft types and to deliver nuclear bombs (the ‘B’ is not capable of carrying them). But we don’t have any nuclear bombs, only Trident missile warheads, so, in the event of a nuclear war, they will be armed with US W61-12 gravity bombs, which are stored in Britain but are under the control of the US President.

Saturday

Hi, my friends. A bit different in London this morning, it’s foggy. I could hardly see my paw in front of my face when I popped out! Today, I see Mascara Man has come up with another little law change that he can boast about but actually means very little, and will cost the government nothing. He is going to change the law so that job adverts must carry the wage (or the wage band) the job offers. What a waste of time! If you are lucky enough to get an interview, I am certain that it will be discussed.

I told you about Babcock joining up with HII to pitch the Arrowhead 140 to the US. However, in the past few days, Babcock has announced a whole host of alliances with companies so that the ship can be looked at favourably for a range of roles. First, they signed agreements with CUBEDIN, Exail, Hensoldt, Kraken Technology Group, SH Defence, Stormborn and Thales. The idea is that together they will be able to supply all the equipment necessary to make the Type 31 the mothership in a Hybrid Navy. The new alliances will supply expertise spanning autonomous platforms, sensors, payloads, communications and mission systems. Babcock has also signed up with HII and Arondite to offer ‘Armour Force’ (Autonomous and Remote Maritime Operational Response, Force), a complete answer to the Hybrid Navy, Babcock with the mothership, HII with the drone ships and Arondite with the software. Finally, yesterday Babcock signed a deal with Saab. This is aimed at getting a frigate order from Denmark, where Saab Denmark would supply radar and electronics made in Denmark.

Only one local by-election this week. It was in a Limp Dumps seat in Bournemouth, and they held the seat from the Tories with very little change from the previous election in this ward. It was a new ward for Reform to stand in, and they came in third with 17.8%. The big losers on the night were Liebore, down 6.7%, the Greens, down 6.9%, and a local independent, who lost 12.2%.

I normally look forward to the John Lewis Christmas TV advert, but this year it is woke rubbish. My favourites so far this year are Lidl, with Barry from EastEnders singing a Lidl version of Slade’s “Merry Christmas Everyone”, and the M&S one with Father Christmas shaving off his beard and going undercover to discover what Christmas is really like. Mind you, I am yet to see this year’s episode of Kevin the Carrot.

I read that recently in Carrickmaquigley, in Redcastle, County Donegal, early on a Monday morning, a lorry ended up in a ditch. The lorry’s aluminium shipping container burst open and spilled its contents into a field, about 55 metres from the sea. The truck was carrying 15,000 live brown crabs, worth around €60,000, on their way to Portugal. Ten local villagers turned out and, under floodlights, set about collecting as many crabs as possible, as the crabs set off across the field towards the sea. The local council closed the road, and a recovery company pulled the truck out of the ditch. The people worked all night and managed to recover about 95% of the crabs, with the remaining 5% making it to the freedom of the sea.

It was only last year, if I remember correctly, that there was a shortage of olive oil and people were bemoaning its price. This year, I read that there has been a bumper crop and the EU is bothered that there will be a huge oversupply on the market. Producers have been ordered to hold back 12% of production. Spain alone expects this to amount to 188,000 tonnes. Spain is the world’s biggest olive oil producer and makes 45% of the world’s production and 70% of the EU’s production. Funny that, if you had asked me, I would have said either Italy or Greece produced the most. I wonder what they do with all the leftovers when they have pressed the oil out of them.

Here are a couple of examples of what chaos Mascara Man’s ‘EU reset’ is likely to bring to the food market. Firstly, the old Queen’s favourite marmalade maker (they had a Royal Warrant), Tiptree, has renamed its Three Fruits Jam. It seems it failed to meet the EU requirements, as it didn’t say what the three fruits were and so couldn’t be sold in the EU. So, it has been renamed Orange, Lemon and Grapefruit Marmalade, despite there being no need to do so in the UK. The other thing I learned is that we would have to join the EU in banning individual sachets of the likes of tomato sauce, brown sauce and mayonnaise. I’m not sure how this would affect the likes of burger bars. Will we be going back to those big plastic tomatoes on tables with crusty old sauce on the spout? I wonder how the people who bring a microwave hamburger into the office for lunch will get on without a sachet of tomato sauce in the package.

That’s me done for the week. The fog has lifted and the sun is out, but it is too chilly for me to snooze on my favourite windowsill. I think it is another day for a snooze on MM’s bed. With him having been missing for a week, there is a nice cat-shaped indentation developing on his bed. Chat to you all again next week.

 

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