Now I’m no greenie, no time for all that net-zero nonsense and Mad Ed’s delusions, but I do have green tech, because it suits me and my particular circumstances. I have solar panels and 16kwh of battery storage, which is enough to get me through a typical day. I get to export a lot of electricity which offsets my bills, to the point that my energy bills last year for electric and gas was a total of £177, with another £400-ish for logs for the log burner.
Also, it gives the prepper side of me a small amount of energy independence. Its not for everyone, but it works for me.
I’ve been thinking about changing my car for a while, I have no real need, but just have the urge for something different. I’ll hopefully be retiring in the next three years, so want to get any major expenses out of the way before that happens.
I’ve never particularly wanted an electric car, but I’ve always liked the Tesla. If they made petrol versions, I’d have probably considered one of those. But an EV seems the obvious choice given the afore mentioned home generated solar would be enough to charge it for the relatively small mileage I do, for about eight to nine months of the year.
There are also other advantages for my particular circumstances, having an EV means I can use the Octopus Intelligent GO tariff, which means (from 1st April) I get six hours of cheap rate electricity overnight at just 5.5p per kw, which I can use to charge both my car and my house batteries.
This also gives me the choice to arbitrage the energy, further increasing my export profits. For example, instead of charging my car and batteries from solar, I can charge them both overnight at 5.5p, then sell any energy generated during the day back to the grid at 12p per kw.
A quick fag packet calculation shows I’ll save about £50 pcm on petrol, and about the same again on home electricity import costs. Again, it’s not for everyone, but it works for me.
It all started when I looked at a few websites about the best way to sell your vehicle. We Buy Any Car, Carwow and Motorway were suggested as the best companies to deal with. I looked on the Tesla website to see which car I’d like, and noticed they had a trade-in valuation page. I popped in my details out of curiosity, and was surprised when they came back with an offer of £5,800 for a car I’d only paid £7,100 for, eight years ago. I was hooked.
The first step was to book a test drive. The thing with Tesla is, EVERYTHING is done via the app.
Book a test drive, use the app.
Buy a car, use the app
Book servicing, use the app.
If you go into a branch to buy a car, they’ll help you download the app and walk you through the ordering process, they’re very helpful, but it’s all still essentially done via the app.
I took a test drive because I was unsure about the one-pedal driving. Pressing the accelerator speeds you up, releasing it slows you down via regenerative braking. This being my first time ever in 44 years driving anything other than a manual gearbox was a little daunting, but I picked it up easily, I didn’t use the brake pedal once on my test drive. That was it, I knew before I’d got out of the car park I wanted one.
I procrastinated for a few days, before finally settling on a Tesla Approved used 2023 Model 3 with 27k on the clock. Whilst I could afford a brand-new one, I couldn’t really justify it, I’d rather get one for virtually half price and let someone else take the depreciation hit. I am a Yorkshireman after all!
And with a Tesla approved used, you get the remainder of the original warranty, an extra years full warranty, and the battery still has it’s original eight year/100,000 mile warranty. Plus they throw in Enhanced Autopilot, which is the first level of self-driving and is usually a £3,400 add-on.
I fired up the app, completed the seven-step ordering process which involved the usual stuff like uploading ID, driving licence and some shots of the car I was chopping in, then waited for them to do their stuff.
About a day later I got a message (via the app) that my trade-in had been accepted and to send them the balance of payment via bank transfer. This was the only hiccup in the process, mainly due to the UK banking system classing Tesla as a ‘small business’ rather than the large company system I was trying to use.
A few hours later my bank transfer was acknowledged, and a message that the car was being prepared was received. A couple of days went by, then I got a message asking what day and time I’d like to pick it up, and that was it, I’d bought a new car.
Now the thing is with Tesla used, they’re stocked at branches all over the UK, you can buy any one you want, but they don’t bring it to your nearest branch for you, you have to go and collect it yourself. I had three choices in mind, one was in Southampton, one in Reading, and the one I eventually settled on was located at the Gates of Hell, or Wolverhampton as it’s more commonly known.
Collection day came, and I set off for Wolverhampton arriving in good time for my appointment. Collection was straightforward, I had to hand over the keys and V5 for my trade-in vehicle, not only did they not check the car I’d arrived in, they didn’t even check I’d actually come in a car at all, just accepted it on trust.
A few more clicks on the app to accept T&Cs, confirm I’d received delivery, and set up my phone as a key for the vehicle and it was done. I own a Tesla!
I spend about half an hour in the car park setting up all the settings on the endless menus on the giant touch screen, before feeling comfortable enough to set off home.
The journey home was uneventful yet interesting; still being in a manual mindset, I was constantly pressing the non-existent clutch, reaching for the gearstick and handbrake, and worrying about rolling back on hill starts, trying to give it a little extra gas to move away without stalling. I gradually got used to it though, and was pretty much fine by the time I arrived home, although muscle memory still tries to get me to do stuff, like reaching for the keys to switch off on arrival.
So, a couple of weeks later, how is it?
It’s fantastic! Best car I’ve ever had. The acceleration is quick and instant, the ride is smooth and its so quiet! Most of the tech I can operate from the app. I particularly like the pre-heating feature, I can set the app to run the heating, so the car is nice and warm in the cabin and defrosted before I step outside. The sound system is the best I’ve had and phone integration makes things easy. I’m impressed with Dog Mode, which leaves the aircon running if you leave the dog in the car for a short period, leaving a message on the screen telling people that everything is OK.
Sentry mode is another boon, as well as acting as a dashcam when driving, it also acts as a security camera when parked, recording any incidents around the vehicle, useful in case someone backs into you, a Musk hater tried to key it, or an EV hater tries the same. It does come at the expense of a little extra battery use, though. And the auto park feature is amazing! Just select a parking spot and it reverses in automatically for you, you don’t have to do a thing.
I’m still exploring all the features, so I’m sure I’ll find more useful stuff. As for running costs, I’m currently getting around 238 wh/mile, meaning I get about 4 miles per kwh, which (after 1st April) will mean less that 2p per mile on home charging.
I tried the Tesla superchargers, (just to make sure the app was all connected properly and it worked before I ended up 200 miles away from home with an error saying my card wasn’t properly linked or something), and the peak price I charged at was 40p per kw, off peak was 25p, so not too bad when compared with the non-tesla chargers which all seem to start at 79p.
SO do I have any regrets? None at all, I wouldn’t voluntarily go back to an ICE vehicle as my only car. That’s not to say I’m, anti-ICE, if I had a lottery win I’d have a diesel Range Rover and a ridiculous, petrol-powered supercar in my huge garage. But I don’t, so this is the sensible choice. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for me.
(If I’ve converted anyone into buying, I have a referral code which gets us both a big discount or reward. Hit me up.)
© text & images Porn Baron 2026
