Larry’s Diary, Two Hundred And Ninety-Four

Monday

Good morning, friends, my good friends. The weather forecast said warm and sunny this morning, but they seem to have got it wrong again. It’s dull and overcast. However, the mood is bright in the office, as Legohead is off on another of his jollies. This time he is off to the US again. He must be getting short on duty-free booze. This time it is with the ‘coalition of the willies’ to back up the Ukrainian midget in talks with the Donald. In this time of supposed ‘climate change’, why did they all fly individually from Europe? Surely they could all have met in, say, London or Frankfurt and flown on one plane.

It seems that in Scottishland, Ferguson Marine, the builders of those very late ferries, are struggling to land follow-up orders for new ships. It is hardly surprising that customers are reluctant to contract with Ferguson Marine after the joke that the ferries have been. They have already got rid of a lot of contractors, but the permanent staff are fairly safe at the moment, as they have picked up some subcontracts from BAE Systems and hope to get similar from Babcock. I wonder how long they can survive living on scraps from the big boys’ table. They desperately need to land a shipbuilding order.

I admit my informant got it a bit wrong. William and Catherine and the kids are moving to a new house on the Windsor estate, but not the one they told me. They are off to Forest Lodge, an eight-bedroom house. I hear that the 328-year-old Grade II listed building has planning permission for new windows and doors, and interior renovations, including knocking down and removing internal walls. Work has started, with the hope to be moved in before Christmas. Apparently, there is a separate housekeeper flat, a tennis court, a pond, and views all the way to the Wembley Stadium arch.

Since the Government announced its laughable ‘one in, one out’ scheme two weeks ago, I read that we have had over 2,500 in and none out. Mrs Balls promised us that she would keep us up to date with developments with the scheme when it was first announced, and said immigrants had already been arrested. So far, the Government has not said a word, so it’s fair to assume no one has gone back, or they would be crowing about it.

Another thing the Government is ignoring is the numerous demonstrations outside the migrant hotels all over the country. Interestingly, it’s not just the Government. You will have to look hard on the BBC to see the demos reported. Over the weekend, the usual demo took place in Epping without any disturbances at all. It was a little different in Canary Wharf, where six were arrested. But here, the Met were intent on driving the ‘Pink Ladies’ onto the pavement and were even seen arguing with a lady on a mobility scooter.

The most outrageous thing I have seen on the TV this morning was a man at a demo outside the construction site of the new Dalton ‘super mosque’, for shouting “We love bacon.” Seconds after he said it, two burly policemen grabbed his arms, arresting him and marching him off. I know that Muslims don’t eat pork on religious grounds, but I can’t see why shouting “We love bacon”, which is clearly a true statement in Britain, should be an offence. I see that someone has quickly jumped on the bandwagon and is selling “We love bacon” T-shirts. I wonder if they make one that’s cat-sized.

I read of a French native living in the UK who, on release from prison for drug dealing, was up for deportation back to France. This was only the latest of his crimes, which included a sex assault. The judge at the tribunal hearing his case decided that he should not be deported because she feared he could not integrate and would return to his drug-dealing ways to make his living. So basically, what the judge is saying is that it is OK for the Frenchman to deal drugs in the UK but not in France.

Tuesday

Good morning everyone. After yesterday’s grey, it’s a bit better this morning, with the sun trying to come out. Did you see Legohead on the TV making that speech in the White House? Talk about boring. He just waffled on, spouting a load of word salad. The only thing interesting was what the thing on his lower lip was. I think it was a cold sore, and he had done nothing to camouflage it.

Over the weekend, Lisa Nandy MP, the Secretary of State for Culture, appeared at Wigan Pride wearing a T-shirt saying ‘Protect the Dolls’. The ‘Dolls’ are another way of describing trans men in the LGBT+ community. She either had no idea what the slogan meant and was naively just wearing something she was presented with, or she is going against the recent Supreme Court ruling. I have never thought her particularly bright, so I would go with the first explanation, but it still leaves the question as to whether someone so naive should be a Secretary of State.

Yesterday morning, Lea Green Station near St Helens reopened after a four-year, £10 million refurbishment, including the addition of a multi-storey car park. There is a new ticket office, toilets and waiting room. Trains have continued to run from the station while the work progressed, but now that it is fully open, there will be additional services and some new routes. Work started in 2021 and was supposed to take two years, but like many of these public projects, it has badly overrun.

Over the past few weeks, it has been noticeable that there have been a lot more Union Flags and St George’s Flags being flown. It seems that the Flag Campaign has been growing on social media without the media, national and local, noticing. The flags are a sign of how the British people are making a silent protest about our political masters and their refusal to do anything about immigration. I see a couple of councils, Birmingham and Tower Hamlets, are getting their workmen to tear down flags. Birmingham have claimed that flags are a danger to motorists but aren’t touching LGBT flags or Palestinian flags. It’s clearly an attempt to hit back at the campaign, but as with so many things these days, it has drawn more attention to it and the campaign has spread even faster.

Over in China, the weather has been warmer than expected, and the authorities have just announced that this has led to a big jump in power generation. The interesting thing is that the Chinese are getting wealthier and many in town and city homes now have air conditioning. This has been blamed for a 4.6% jump in electric power consumption. What I hear is that it has all been generated by coal-fired power stations, which the greenies claim the Chinese are replacing with wind and solar. Clearly, this is rubbish.

Reform UK Great Yarmouth played a charity football match against the local Wetherspoon’s and had special turquoise football shirts produced for the game, which I understand Reform won. I hear lots of people liked the shirt and asked if it was possible to buy one. Not to miss an opportunity to bring in some money for the Reform coffers, Reform took a chance and ordered 5,000 to sell to supporters. Most of the shirts went on sale for £39.99, but Nigel Farage signed some and they went on sale for £99.99. The party emailed their supporters on Sunday to announce the shirts were on sale, and within an hour, 1,000 had been snapped up. The whole 5,000, including 703 signed by Farage, were sold within 24 hours, raising around £260,000 for the party.

I have been watching the European politicians and their security advisors arriving at the White House. I hear that Trump is greeting the Ukrainian midget at the front door, while some blonde woman is greeting the Europeans at the back door and taking them to a buffet to wait an hour while Trump and the midget meet before the Europeans are let in. What is interesting is that they have arrived in pecking order. Ritter, the boss of NATO, first. Then Von der Liar, and third, Legohead, who seems to have a nasty cold sore. But the best thing was the Froggy midget was last.

Wednesday

Hi folks, grey and cool again first thing when I made my early morning excursion. Then it was back to the highlight of the week so far, Felix Chicken for breakfast. The good news is that Legohead has gone to Scottishland on holiday. It’s nice to report some good news, as all I seem to do is report bad news for Legohead and his lot. Today it is more financial bad news for Captain Cold Sore and Robber Reeves. The inflation rate is up to 3.8%, but perhaps worse is that the UK cost of borrowing has gone up again and is now higher, at 5.7%, than for the Liz Truss government.

Panic in Number 10 yesterday afternoon when Epping Forest Council won an injunction to clear the Bull Hotel of asylum seekers within two weeks, as they had breached the planning permission for the hotel, as it was not operating as a hotel. Now a council has won an injunction, more councils are sure to follow. I expect the Government will pay the hotel group to appeal, as they have no idea where to put the thousands of people that will be displaced from hotels.

I read that the BBC has once again been presenting Hamas propaganda to us as facts. This time they believed the Hamas line that a skinny girl sent to Austria for medical treatment was the victim of starvation caused by an Israeli blockade on food. However, the truth has emerged, and the girl was in fact dying from blood cancer, and the BBC has been forced to apologise. The so-called ‘journalists’ the BBC employs in Gaza seem to be in the pay of the Gaza Health Ministry, according to whom every death in Gaza is that of a civilian and no Hamas fighters ever get killed. You may remember the case of the ‘Israeli’ rocket that hit a hospital and killed 500 innocent civilians that didn’t stand up to investigation. It turned out to be an outgoing Hamas rocket that had misfired and landed in a hospital car park, and not injuring anyone. When will the BBC learn?

Apparently, the US Navy has just put a new sonar system into operation in one of its Arleigh Burke-class destroyers. Unlike the existing active sonar system that uses the echo of a ‘ping’ broadcast from the ship to bounce back from the hunted ship or submarine to locate it, the new version is passive. That means it just listens to noises coming to the destroyer through the sea. I read that the old system produced about 10 or 12% false positives, while with the new system it is under 5%. In addition, the old system could detect a target up to 80 miles away, while the new one is good for 150 miles and is undetectable by the target. The Yanks must be pretty sure the new system works to put out even the basic information about it, or is it American propaganda?

In Britain, the heroin trade has been run by Turkish gangs for many years. In London, it is split between the Hackney Turks and the Tottenham Turks, and they have been carrying out a violent war for as long as many people can remember. Inter-gang beatings and shootings are common. A year or so back, there was a drive-by shooting at a restaurant in Hackney, where a rider on a motorbike fired six shots, injuring three men sat in the restaurant. Unfortunately, a nine-year-old girl, eating ice cream with her family, was hit in the head by a stray bullet, which can’t be removed, and has suffered life-changing injuries. The shooter has never been found, but yesterday, 33-year-old Javon Riley from Tottenham was found guilty of causing grievous harm with intent to the nine-year-old girl and the attempted murder of the three injured men. He had scoped out the restaurant, acted as a lookout and helped the gunman escape. Now I learn Riley is a Jamaican. Can we look forward to him being deported, or will it be stopped by a judge?

Dale Vince, the Labour-supporting greenie who appears to always be wearing a Palestinian scarf, has acquired a 30ft Palestinian flag which he is flying from the roof of Ecotricity’s HQ in Stroud, a company he owns. I hear that residents in Stroud are not very happy and are asking if Vince has the necessary permission. I read that any flag not on a Government-approved list can only be flown with the permission of the local planning authority. The Palestinian flag is not on the list, so has Vince got planning permission? We shall soon find out, I suspect.

India has just retired its last two squadrons of the old workhorse, the MiG-21. This has reduced the Indian Air Force from 31 squadrons to 29. However, a recent report said that the IAF needs 42.5 squadrons to combat both Pakistan and China. In addition, it is likely they need to replace several losses in the recent skirmish with Pakistan. One source of additional aircraft is likely to be the USA, where India is negotiating a 40-plane deal for the F-35A. They have also been looking for 114 multi-role fighter aircraft, a deal that was expected to go out to tender with the likes of the Gripen, Rafale, Typhoon, F-15EX and F-16 Block 70 bidding. However, it looks like because the deal is urgent, India has decided to order the Rafale. They already operate 36 of the planes and have ordered 26 of the marine version for their aircraft carriers. So, ordering something they already are familiar with, have spares for and have pilots trained to fly makes sense.

Thursday

Hello folks, it’s a lovely day in Downing Street today, sunny, without a cloud to be seen and dry. Legohead on holiday in Scottishland and blind panic at the Home Office. It was bad enough when they lost the Epping Hotel court case, but now I hear over 80 councils are looking at taking legal action over hotels breaching planning permission. I hear the Home Office has put out an urgent call for 5,000 homes to house immigrants. Let’s say they can put 4 immigrants in each home, that’s 20,000 they will be housing and 20,000 Brits who will be out on the street.

I had a good chuckle this morning after reading that, not for the first time, Arsenal appears to have got one over on Spuds with a football transfer. Spuds had, according to lots of reports over the past two weeks, all but completed a deal to sign a player called Eberechi Eze from Crystal Palace. But on Sunday an Arsenal player suffered a knee injury in a match and the Gunners quickly moved for Eze as cover, offering Crystal Palace a slightly better deal than the Spuds. But the big thing is that the Gooners were Eze’s lifelong favourite team and he jumped at the opportunity of the move. Arsenal has a record of bettering Tottenham in transfer deals over the likes of Pat Jennings and Sol Campbell. But my favourite story is that of Emmanuel Petit, who Tottenham paid to come over from Monaco for a trial, at the end of which they paid him expenses in cash to get back to Heathrow and his plane back to France. Petit used the money to buy a Tube ticket to Arsenal, presented himself at the stadium, signed for them and became a club legend, winning the League and Cup double in his first season at the club.

After yesterday’s news from the High Court on the Bell Hotel, Epping, I hear the Government is panicking that it will set a legal precedent and loads more councils will now take similar actions. Broxbourne in Hertfordshire was one of the first to announce that they are looking at the case in detail, with the aim of bringing a copycat case. I can see a host of Tory and Reform councils bringing actions. But the interesting thing is that even Liebore councils are looking at bringing actions. There is nothing to stop private individuals or organisations bringing similar actions and winning.

The Government seems to have no idea what to do about housing the asylum seekers. They have started moving migrants into Houses of Multiple Occupation, but this could fall under a similar challenge to the Bell, as I hear that houses in Portsmouth have been converted into HMOs without the local authority being aware. If this is correct, it is a breach of the law as they need a licence to operate, and the local authority is the source of licences. I suppose the Government could try emergency legislation to change the law, but Liebore will risk being even less popular and losing every by-election.

The Liebore MP for Jarrow and Gateshead East, Kate Osborne, is being investigated by the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) for her spending on travel and subsistence costs, as well as “miscellaneous costs and financial assistance”. It appears the case revolves around her excessive use of taxis. She joins another Liebore MP, Tahir Ali, who has been under investigation by IPSA since May. If this had been a Tory MP, the left-wing press would be having a field day.

I read that FIFA have introduced a new competition for women’s football teams called the Women’s Champions Cup. The idea is that the winners of the top competition for each women’s football confederation will meet in a competition to find a world champion. However, they have had to seed the competition because the standard of women’s football across the globe is so variable. The winners of the European (Arsenal Ladies) and US competition (Gotham FC) are so far ahead, they have each been placed in a semi-final. The opponents in semi-final one will come from a seeded knockout competition, where the winners from Asia, Oceania and Africa will play Arsenal. Semi-final two will be between Gotham FC and whoever wins the yet-to-be-held South American competition. The semi-final and final matches are to be played on neutral ground in February 2026.

The Type 45 destroyer HMS Daring has just set a new record. It has now spent just over 3,000 days under maintenance, which matches the 3,000 days it managed at sea. The six Type 45s all suffered, or suffer, from the same problem. They have an undersized engine intercooler supplied by American company Northrop Grumman. In hot conditions, it fails and the ship loses all power, both propulsion and electrical. This makes them of little use in their fleet anti-aircraft role in the warm Persian Gulf and the tropics. HMS Daring was the first of the class and a natural choice to be one of the first to be re-powered under a Power Improvement Project (PIP) at Cammell Laird in Liverpool. The auxiliary generators were added to, and the diesel engines replaced. Daring and Dauntless have been through the programme. Dragon is undergoing sea trials. Defender and Diamond are undergoing PIP, while Duncan is due to be worked on during its next scheduled dock time. But Daring, as the oldest ship, went straight from its PIP to a major refurbishment, with new systems and missiles being fitted. At long last, I hear Daring is being crewed up and should be back at sea later this year.

Friday

Hi everyone, another lovely sunny morning when I wandered down the garden before breakfast. I have said it before and I’ll almost certainly say it again, another rotten morning for Legohead. Only a couple of bits of bad news for Liebore this morning. A Scottishland Liebore MSP has been arrested after the police raided his home and found indecent images of children. Unsurprisingly, he has been slung out of the party. Then there is a new opinion poll out tonight putting Reform on 33%, Liebore on 18% and the Tories on 17%. This is a 15% lead and is enough to make Farage the next PM with a substantial overall majority.

Since 2013, Costco have sold only Pepsi Cola and its associated brands in its food courts. But they have now done an exclusive deal with Coca-Cola and are beginning to switch all the taps over to Coke and its associated brands like Fanta, and will be phasing out Pepsi. This has, of course, upset some and delighted others. The problem is that most people have a favourite between Coke and Pepsi, and you can’t convert someone who likes Pepsi Max to Coke Zero. But in Scottishland, they have a more serious problem as Irn-Bru is distributed by an independent wholesaler in the UK. So, no more Irn-Bru in Scotland is a disaster.

It has been rumoured for years that fridge magnets increase the use of electricity by the fridge. Today I can tell you that both Whirlpool and LG say this is just not true. They both say that it is impossible for a magnet to affect electricity consumption. However, Whirlpool do say to be careful, as you could scratch the paintwork, and too many magnets could strain the door hinges. I find the latter a bit difficult to believe when the inside of the door is made to store heavy bottles and jars.

By the end of this month, it is almost certain that Airbus will have overtaken Boeing for the world record in the production of short-range, single-aisle planes. Boeing were off to a flying start, as when they launched the Boeing 737 family, the opposition was the likes of the long-gone BAC 1-11 and McDonnell Douglas DC-9. The 737 had been around for 10 years and had sold 1,500 planes by the time Airbus put the A320 family into production. It has taken four decades for Airbus A320 sales to catch up and overtake the Boeing 737. At the end of July, Airbus were a mere 20 sales behind Boeing in this aircraft type, and comparing the production rates, when the August numbers are announced in early September, Airbus are likely to have overtaken Boeing. Boeing still has 4,863 outstanding orders for 737s, but Airbus has 7,185 outstanding orders for A320s.

There seems to be a shortage of Union Flags and Cross of St George (England) flags as a result of the ‘Raise the Colours’ epidemic. I heard yesterday that Amazon had sold 50,000 since the weekend. Now I hear a dealer on the TV saying he can’t get a supply for ‘love or money.’ People are not happy that 111,000 asylum seekers came into the country in the first year of Liebore, up 14% on the previous 12 months under the Tories.

The Foreign Office has been trying to save money by having what it calls a ‘war on waste’. However, Mastermind Lammy’s department has announced it lost £926,000 worth of mobile phones, laptops and missed flights. Then the Government Car Service has spent £4 million on private cars. These chauffeur-driven cars are supposed to be only for Ministers and very senior Snivel Serpents. The £4 million included 10 new hybrid Jaguars to ‘help fight climate change’. But perhaps more interesting is that the Department of Climate Change and Net Zero have refused to say how much has been spent on internal air fares.

Reports say that the cost of food in the UK is going up faster than the base inflation rate of 3.8%. As if to prove the point, I see that Tesco has just put up the price of its Meal Deal by 25p. The combination of a sandwich, drink and snack has gone up from £4 to £4.25. However, it comes down to £3.85 if you have a Clubcard. Tesco also has a ‘premium’ Meal Deal, and that has gone up from £5 to £5.50 if you have a Clubcard, or £6 without. The Meal Deal was introduced in 2012 at £3 and stayed the same for 10 years before being increased.

Saturday

Good morning people, sunny again I’m happy to say. A silly story to start the day with that amused me. In Bristol, some people hung a banner across the A4 Portway that said, ‘Toot if you think Kier Starmer is a wanker’. After two hours, the police took it down, not because it was dangerous or it offended sensitive lefties, but because the local residents complained about the incessant hooting driving them mad.

Rumours doing the rounds in the aviation world say that Airbus is on the verge of signing a massive order for A320 family aircraft. The story is that the Chinese are ready to buy about 500 planes. The idea is that they will be purchased centrally and distributed among several of the state-owned airlines like China Airlines, China Southern, Xiamen Air and the Sichuan Airlines Group. This big order has been hinted at for some time and Boeing have also been trying to land it, but have been put at a disadvantage by Trump tariffs on China. The Chinese might also be going to order more planes from Boeing anyway, but if it places two orders, where does this leave its own domestic manufacturer COMCO?

Rolls-Royce has just announced another big engine order, though this time it is not for aero engines, it is for its big diesel engines. The Swiss train maker Stadler has sold 10 high-speed trains to Saudi Arabian Railways and Rolls are to supply 50 engines. Each train has two power cars, and each power car needs 2 x 1,500kW engines, making 40 engines. The other 10 are for spare power cars and maintenance swaps. There is also an option for ten more trains, so Rolls have an option for 40 more engines.

Norway have found yet another massive oil field under the North Sea, and no doubt they will be making pots of money by selling their oil to us. The field was first found last year and was believed to contain about 35 million barrels of oil. But the finders, Akers BP, have been drilling sideways to establish the real extent of the field and now believe it is at least three times bigger. We have introduced a ban on issuing new oil and gas exploration and production licences in this country to hit our self-imposed Net Stupid Zero targets. Of course, stopping new licences doesn’t stop the need for oil and gas in the UK, it only stops us producing our own and raising loads of tax on it. Instead, we buy imported oil and gas, which we pay for in hard currency and get no production tax on.

I see that Japan has just received its first three F-35B STOVL fighters. This is the first of 42 that it will operate from their helicopter carriers, which I suppose are now aircraft carriers. But Japan also operates the conventional take-off F-35A. The Japanese have ordered a total of 147 F-35s, which is something like double the number of F-35s we have ordered. How come the Japanese can afford to fly twice as many F-35s as us? Perhaps it’s because we are pursuing Net Stupid Zero.

Sweden’s electrical generator, Vattenfall, has a project to build Small Modular Reactors for nuclear power generation and has just announced a shortlist of two manufacturers, namely GE Vernova Hitachi’s BWRX-300 and the Rolls-Royce SMR. The aim is to generate about 1,500MW, meaning either four GE units or three RR units. The Swedish company says both the shortlisted companies have viable designs, with GE chosen for a project in Canada and Rolls chosen by the UK and the Czech Republic. A final supplier decision will be made soon, as the need is to have the reactors up and running by the early 2030s. Whoever wins this race is also likely to win a follow-on 1,000MW project.

I hear that the wife of the Spanish PM, Begona Gomez, has been charged with corruption. It appears that she has been charged with all sorts of things, including peddling influence and embezzlement of public funds. This seems to be one of the biggest scandals to hit Spanish politics in years. But the question I ask is: if the wife of the PM was at it, how come her husband was unaware of what she was doing? I must say I feel sorry for the woman. Imagine being called Begona.

Well, that’s me done for the week and although the sun has disappeared, it’s warm enough for my windowsill nap this afternoon. I do rather look forward to an afternoon snooze, especially in the sun. I might make an effort and pop into the office later to watch my scribes’ team play footy. I hear they have a 15-year-old in the squad, and he has had rave reviews. Chat to you all next week.
 

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