Polling Predictions #2

Rama, CC BY-SA 2.0 FR, via Wikimedia Commons

This a quick look at the predictions UK Polling Report has been giving us this week. I hope there are crumbs of comfort for everyone in this data, well the hindu dwart and his buddies won’t like it but that makes it even more enjoyable.

There are the usual Survivors (boo) and Fallen( hooray) lists. Additionally I have added the predicted seat count by Party, I have to say we need to do better – the Tories are still winning some seats. Further to that are the stats for constituencies that have more than one prediction. I am heartened to see that the closer we get to the GE, the worse it looks for the Tories. Remember, on the Survivor list the lower the majority percentage, the closer the ratbag is to losing the seat. On the other hand when it comes to the fallen the higher the majority the more humiliation is heaped upon them.

I have generally avoided saying whether the MP is stepping down or not and whether he is suspended or not. It is just too difficult to keep up and anyway, I do not trust them an inch. Minds can be changed. The exceptions are Scott Benson and Pratt Wanksock as I have christened him. In fact his seat of West Suffolk is predicted to remain Tory. What are these bumpkins thinking, I can say that because I was born in West Suffolk. The new candidate, Nick Timothy, is a very very lucky boy.

I have not seen any predictions for Norn Iron yet, I feel the politics in the province are even more complex and Byzantine than the Schleswig-Holstein question used to be. The sight of our Prime Miniature shaking hands with that terrorist mare who is now First Minister was more than enough to turn my stomach.

Who knows what, if any, difference Thursday’s by election results will have. Judging by the number of votes cast Keith is not very popular whereas the pesky injun is thoroughly detested. He keeps saying he is doing what the people want him to do while banging on about his plan. What the people really want is for him to do one and never show his face over here again. I am quite proud of this paragraph. As I typed it all kinds of profanities and obscenities went through my mind but I avoided using them. Perhaps next week we will see some kind of shift. So long as the Tories are even deeper in the mire I will be happy.

We have to resign ourselves to a Keith victory and all that entails, you know, things like empty champagne bottles strewn in BBC corridors. The one dreadful possibility is that a Tory saviour will arise and nick it at the last minute. I don’t see anyone matching that description, even the Donald couldn’t manage that. No we must remain firm in our desire to see the end of that dreadful Party and all its chancers, I hope that the useless Sunak remains as leader to lead the Party down the hole of oblivion.

The spectre of Farage looms over the proceedings. He has said he only wants to come back if he has a chance of being in power the election after this one. I think the sheeple of this country will not provide any sigh of that happening and believe he will stay aloof this time. He is more likely to join whatever arises from the ashes of the Tory Party.

The sharp eyed among you will also notice that the predicted Tory seat count is gradually sinking. The dreadful Ed Davey must think it is Christmas with his predicted 32 seats but they will mean nothing.

I used to be of the opinion that Labour would need to win back most of their Scottish seats to have any chance of forming a government. Well fornicate with my ancient footwear, the hindu dwarf and associated chancers have made that part unnecessary. Labour will easily win even with the SNP on 47 seats. That is some achievement for our sub continental chum.

We must remain vigilant, Labour is well able to ruin its own prospects, see this week’s anti-semitism stories. I don’t have a dog in the fight, don’t like either side in the Gaza disaster. I am however sickened by the sight of things that look like 1930s Germany and people being allowed to get away with it. That unfunny comedian needs banging up. Imagine if similar language or insults were used to criticise the religion of peace. Plod would be round straight away.

I will endeavour to produce a weekly digest of these predictions, luckily it doesn’t take too long. My long planned series about the trials and tribulations of the Duke of Wellington in the Iberian Peninsula will just have to wait. Irascible he may well have been but what he had to put up with would have driven anyone else to a breakdown and I am not talking of things purely military.

Onwards and Upwards as they say.

© well_chuffed 2024