Fiction
Royal Protection
Ah mind aboot a yeer ago gettin’ sackondet tae Balmoaral coaz hoff tha royal prateckshun c**ts were aff fer a hale week wi’ tha wild s**tes they goat fae a roatten chinky they ordahed in [more…]
DH
Literature
That Supreme Court Judgement
Ah feel pure soarry fer that Borash Johnston c**t. Tha poor bastert’s goat anuff oan his plate bein’ prime menashtah an’ aw that sh*te withoot some judge c**t pure gie’n him it tight. Ah mind [more…]
Arts
HMS Gammon
I’d like to open proceedings with a confession: I have never before in my life written a travel piece with even the faintest modicum of honesty or integrity. The truth of the matter is that [more…]
Biography
Lieutenant Rory Stewart – Traveller, Soldier, Gentleman
In the year of our Lord 2002, a remarkable young soldier by the name of Roderick James Nugent Stewart took some good old fashioned shooting leave in Afghanistan. Upon his return to Britain, he documented [more…]
Fiction
Polling Day in Scotland
Ah cannae f**kin’ baleeve tha Sarge hos sent me oot tae guard some f**kin’ sh*thoose poalen stashun en Govanhill aw day wi’ wee Kenny tha prubashunah. “That Sturjan c**t’s prolly gonnae be hingin’ aboot,” he [more…]
Arts
Awrite ya bunchae f**kin’ bawbags?
Iss Frideh, which is when ah hop oan tha train an scoot back up tae Paisleh tae deal wi’ mah coanstichency mattahs. F**kin’ Scotrail teeket collectah c**t had some f**kin’ cheek, by tha way. “So [more…]
Arts
“Yippee Ki Yay, Ya Wee Fanny” – A Polis Sco’lan Christmas Tale
Ah pure cannae be f**ked wi’ Chrishmas. Brengs back a loadae sh*te memries fae when ah wis a wean. Wha hod f**kin’ hee haw cuz ma da spent aw tha dole money oan drenk an [more…]
America
Ah feel pure soarry fer that Brett Kavanaugh
Ah feel pure soarry fer that Brett Kavanaugh c**t. Ah wance goat accused o’ sexshal horassmant an’ it wis a right f**kin’ cerry oan. Some scuzzy wee junkie wumman who’d bin caught tryen tae steal [more…]
Literature
Offishul Safe Summah Guidansh fae Polis Sco’lan
Right then, ya bunch o’ fuds. The sarge has been pure nippin’ ma heid aw f**kin’ day tae put oot wan o they stupit f**kin’ publec safety remindahs aboot keepin’ hidratet en tha heat an’ [more…]