Lord Cameron gazed giddily around his office, a look of wonder playing over his bubblegum pink visage. ‘I must say you have completely and utterly exceeded my expectations,’ he gushed. ‘If I was still in [more…]
The haggard, ruddy-faced detective sighed heavily as he groped across the table for the tape machine. He hit a button and began speaking in the weary, nicotine-and-vodka drenched tones of a man resigned to keeling [more…]
“Seriously Gidders, you should have seen the bloody state of it,” brayed Lord David Cameron, swinging his JM Weston brogues up onto the desk. “An absolute bloody farce. I was half expecting that Jeremy Beagle [more…]
F**k’s sake. Just back fae a dissaplinary heerin’ wi’ a pair ae complete f**kin’ c**ts frae tha profeshnul standards dapartment. It wis aboot f**kin’ hee haw an’ aw. A pure waste ae polis time ovah [more…]
Ah’m sick tae f**kin’ death ae hearin’ aboot aw thess Harry and Willyam pish. Ah’ve bin puttin’ up wi’ their s***e since they were weans an iss away’s thah same f**kin story. Ah mind wance [more…]
Ostensibly, it appeared to be a significant improvement on Larkin’s usual choice of hostelry. Outside, there was no gaggle of wizened, gimlet-eyed daytime drinkers sucking on Superkings and grunting incomprehensibly at one another. There was [more…]
This was, thought Merritt, absolutely bloody typical of Larkin. The place was a dizzying carousel of gigantic, deafening televisions blaring out conflicting commentaries on horse racing and football, the bleeping and blinking of garish slot [more…]
IT looked like it might once have been a bank. But then again it could just as easily have been a particularly upmarket haberdashery store back in the days of bone tape measures and black [more…]
Hi, I’m Marianna Spring! I’m 24! I’m the BBC’s specialist misinformation reporter. You may recognise my wide-eyed, 24-year-old face from The One Show, BBC News Online, BBC Radio 4, pictures I post of myself having [more…]
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