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The meeting planning the press release broke up once the story to be told was agreed, and Alan’s press officer was tasked with producing the approved version to be released to the press. Alan was as good as his word, and Sir Nigel got his coffee, a plate of Chocolate Digestives, and a copy of The Times to read while he waited for Jinnie. Alan took Jinnie to his office, called for coffee, turned on the white noise generator, and turned the glass walls to opaque. Once seated, Alan said, “You might have guessed I want to hit back at Germany, I don’t want to kill the Führer, or kill someone in the Government, l something more spectacular, maybe blowing up something the Nazi think sacrosanct.”
“And you want me to do it,” said Jinnie. “Well yes and no,” said ‘C’. “l want you involved. You and your sister are probably our best German speakers and top agents. We are certain that no one in the Abwehr or the Gestapo knows who you are. They have rumours of a female agent, but absolutely no details. We have rebuilt our group in Berlin very carefully, and we are sure that the enemy has no knowledge of them. They have not been carrying out anything but training to keep a low profile. I think I want you and your sister to be infiltrated, maybe with a few SAS men, and to deliver the operation. I haven’t even got a target in mind yet, it is very early days. I think this can wait until the Autumn, I just wanted to give you a heads up.”
“If I was choosing a target,” said Jinnie, “I would go for the Radio Tower. It’s not only one of their iconic buildings, it’s functional in that if we were to topple it we would kill their radio, TV, and phone signals for a long time, that would grab their attention. But it’s a pretty sturdy structure and houses an observation deck that is open to the public until fairly late, it would not be easy.” “I rather like a challenge,” replied Alan.
***
As they drove home, Nigel didn’t mention Jinnie’s private meeting with ‘C’ but talked about the cover story. “You realise,” he said, “that as soon as the story hits the press there is bound to be a public outcry for George to get a medal, and it will be a big one. I think I’m going to have to talk to Richard and suggest the George Cross for both him and Emma, and the Police Gallantry Medal for those two coppers in the police hut. I only wish I could propose Larry for the George Cross, but it’s for people, not cats.” Jinnie said, “Isn’t there a medal for animal heroes, I think it’s the Dickin Medal.” Sir Nigel pulled out his phone and Googled ‘Dickin Medal’ before saying, “You’re right, it’s awarded by the PDSA, but I don’t think he qualifies. It’s a military medal, and previous winners all seem to have won the medal saving lives in wartime.”
Jinnie thought for a minute then said, “But we are still officially still at war with Germany, we have only signed a ceasefire. There is no peace treaty in force, in any case the Germans were in uniform, in a military helicopter and carrying German guns, surely that was an act of war. I think you should phone the PDSA and nominate Larry.” “I think I will,” said Sir Nigel, “just as soon as the story breaks in the media.”
Izzy, Jinnie and Sir Nigel were having a cup of tea as the twins were tucking into their fish fingers, peas and chips for their tea, when they heard George calling hello from the door between the flat and the house. Jinnie called back, “We are in the kitchen having a cuppa, come and join us.” George sat down next to Izzy, who poured him a cup of tea and offered a plate of milk chocolate Hobnobs. George said to no one in particular, “Gosh I’ve had a mad day.” Jinnie said, “I know where you were this morning, but why not tell the story, Izzy doesn’t know.”
“I signed in to work at the barrier as rostered,” said George, “then I got a call from the inspector that I was to report to the Commissioner’s office as soon as possible. Well, one of the motorbike boys gave me a ride into town under blues and twos, only to have to sit outside the Commissioner’s office door for twenty minutes, with me thinking ‘I’m in trouble here’. Then he comes out of his office with his uniform cap on and says ‘Come with me’. He gets in the back of his car, tells me to get in the front with the driver, and the Superintendent, who was the Silver Commander, climbs in beside him. They closed the sliding glass screen, so I had no idea what was being said.”
“Anyway,” continued George, “I asked the driver where we were going and he replied, ‘the Cross’, and that meant nothing to me. I suppose I must have looked a bit confused because, still looking straight ahead, he said, ‘Vauxhall Cross, you know, the MI6 building’. Well, they were expecting us and we went up to a meeting room. I got shoved in the last available seat and looked around, and there was Jinnie and Sir Nigel on the opposite side of the table. Some bloke summarised what happened yesterday.” “That ‘bloke’ was the head of the Secret Intelligence Service, and you were sitting next to the Foreign Secretary,” interjected Jinnie.
“Really,” said George. “Well, the summary was pretty accurate, but they wanted to change the truth so that it didn’t involve Jinnie and made up a new version in which Larry and me are the heroes of the day. The Commissioner asked if I was OK with the new story, and I had little choice but to say yes. And that was that. I had to make my own way back here on the Tube and train, then I got a taxi from the station. I was back on duty at the barrier and Jimmy told me that Sgt. Wilkes was in the intensive care unit in Barnet Hospital and was pretty sick.”
“Then the Super turned up,” said George. “He took me to one side and said as Sgt. Wilkes was going to be off for months, it had been decided that I was to step up and run the Squad as temporary Sgt. until my exam results confirmed my promotion. So you are now talking with Temporary Sgt. Williamson.” Izzy jumped up, threw her arms around George, kissed him and said, “Congratulations.” Jinnie and Sir Nigel both congratulated him, Willie said, “Mummy, we don’t understand what has happened,” and Larry sat under the table listening to the conversation and smiling contentedly to himself.
***
The following morning, Izzy was making the twins boiled eggs and soldiers and put Talk Radio on for something to listen to while the eggs boiled. Mike Graham was busy rabbiting on about a TV personality who had been caught cheating on his wife when he suddenly said, “Here’s some sensational breaking news from the Metropolitan Police. We have a joint statement from them and Hertfordshire Police clarifying the reports of shots being fired in Hadley Wood, which straddles the two force areas.”
“They say,” he carried on, “and I summarise, that it was a raid by German commandos, who flew in a helicopter at very low level and landed in the garden of ex-Prime Minister Sir Nigel Farage. A huge gunfight broke out between the Germans and Sir Nigel’s Diplomatic Protection Force officers. Four police are dead and three in hospital, one of whom is critically injured and in ICU. All six Nazi commandos and the two helicopter pilots are also dead. The hero of the hour seems to be an off-duty DPF officer who lodged locally. He happened to return home at the right time, from the police range, where he had been practising for an upcoming inter-forces match. He got into the ex-PM’s garden from a neighbouring garden and is believed to have killed five of the Germans. Another hero was Sir Nigel’s PA who shot one of the Germans using a pistol given to Sir Nigel for his personal protection. And here is my favourite part of the statement. Larry the cat, who used to live with Sir Nigel in Number 10, attacked and badly clawed the face of a commando, allowing him to be shot. Sir Nigel was uninjured.”
“That is an incredible story and sounds like the script for a film,” said Mike Graham. “It even leaves a lot of questions that need to be answered, but I doubt they ever will be. But there is a footnote on the release that says there will be a joint Met, Hertfordshire press conference at noon, so we might hear what Larry the cat was doing there. After the ad break I have a question for my listeners: ‘Does Larry deserve a medal?’” “Of course he does,” said Izzy, talking to Larry who was rubbing himself round her legs, “and so do Jinnie, George and Emma, but Jinnie won’t get what she deserves because of ‘security’.” Larry meowed loudly in reply.
***
With the children at school, Jinnie, Izzy and Larry had time to watch the police press conferences, which were on just about every TV channel. They chose BBC News as they knew it wouldn’t be interrupted by adverts. They switched over to the conference just as the police trooped in, accompanied by Sir Nigel, who sat down in the middle of the table between the Met and Hertfordshire Chief Constables. As the camera panned the length of the table, Jinnie recognised some of the officers behind the table from the meeting at Vauxhall Cross, including the Silver Commander who was sat next to George, who was wearing his sergeant’s strips.
The Met Chief Constable started by saying, “Good afternoon. We have called this press conference to try to keep you up to date with events and explain one or two things. We will be taking questions after some of us have spoken, but please remember we may not be able to answer all your questions on security grounds. Now, firstly, to assure you all that rumours that Sir Nigel had been injured or killed are clearly wrong, as I am delighted he is sat beside me. To start with, just a brief update on the three injured officers. Two are recovering well from bullet wounds but will be in hospital for a while yet. The good news is Sgt. Wilkes was reported to be slightly improved this morning but is still in intensive care and will be in hospital for a long time. I understand that he is unlikely to be able to return to active service due to the severity of his injuries.”
The Chief Constable continued, “We have found and sunk the ship from which the helicopter was launched. We are searching for survivors, but at the moment we have only picked up dead bodies. Of course, we are still technically at war with Germany, and this was an act of war. The PM has sent Germany a note via neutral Switzerland telling them that this is a breach of the ceasefire, and we reserve the right to retaliate at a future date of our choice. As you can see, I am joined today by the Chief Constable of Hertfordshire, who had responsibility for security at Sir Nigel’s house. It is a slightly odd situation in that the border between the Met jurisdiction and Hertfordshire jurisdiction is confusing. One end of the street and some of the houses fall into the Met area, the remainder of the street, including Sir Nigel’s house, fall into the Hertfordshire area.”
“I will now throw the conference open to questions. As you can see, Sir Nigel and Sgt. Williamson are here and will do their best to answer you as far as security will allow. I am only sorry that our other heroes of the hour, Sir Nigel’s PA and Larry the cat, both want to remain anonymous. I see a raft of hands up, so perhaps the BBC would like to ask the first question.” Jinnie and Izzy watched on as the reporter asked some relevant questions, such as could George explain what weapon he used, who killed the remaining two Germans, what had happened to the German helicopter. Some things couldn’t be answered, like what sort of retaliation was planned, and finally someone asked, ‘How did Larry come to be on the scene?’
Sir Nigel said, “I’ll answer that one. When Larry retired from No. 10, he went to live with a close friend. I visited him several times. It was such a lovely location that I decided that when I retired I wanted to live in the same area. Well, a house nearby didn’t become available, but a patch of land did, and I acquired it and built my perfect retirement home with some wonderful neighbours. Of course, Larry comes to see me every day and spends a lot of time with me. He even has a cat basket in my kitchen. It was no surprise to me that he came to my aid, I would have done the same for him.”
***
The following morning was Saturday, and the press was leading on the press conference and the outrage of ‘the people’ at the act of war by the Germans and demanding the government ‘do something’, but no one seemed to be able to suggest what. But the idea that Sir Nigel’s defenders need to be awarded a medal was universal. The Daily Mail had set up an online petition for George to receive the Police Gallantry Medal, and the Sun wanted a medal for Larry. Jinnie decided to add her name to the petitions and found it very hard to get onto. She persisted and eventually added her name. The page then refreshed and said, “You are the 123,418th person to have signed this petition since it opened 7 hours and 6 minutes ago.”
Jinnie told Izzy, Paolo and Sir Nigel, and they all said they would be signing. Sir Nigel had still not been allowed to return to his home but was expected to be able to do so on Monday, after the helicopter should have been removed. The plans were to have a huge crane park in the road at the front of the house and lift the helicopter over the house and onto an RAF transporter, and then taken to an RAF station for proper examination. The twins were enormously excited and wanted to watch the event that was planned for midday on Sunday. It was Penny’s day to host the family Sunday lunch party, and the twins begged their mother not to go so they could watch the lift.
Eventually Jinnie gave in and first phoned Penny to explain and suggest that they swapped weekends and she would do this weekend’s family lunch. That way the twins could see the German helicopter being lifted, and she could also invite Sir Nigel, who would otherwise be eating at Trattoria Trevi. Penny jumped at the idea, as she said she would also like to see the helicopter lift. As her parents were not involved in the swap, they quickly agreed to come to Jinnie’s house. The last person she told was Sir Nigel, who asked what was she going to cook, and Jinnie said, “I thinking of popping to that butchers at the bottom of Barnet Hill, they have super meat, I was thinking of getting a prime rib of beef and cooking it nice and rare. Mum says she still has loads of vegetables from the garden, so she going to prepare potatoes for roasting, parsnips, carrots, cauliflower and onions that I think I will braise in gravy and of course Yorkshires, the twins adore Yorkshires.” “So do I,” said Sir Nigel. “I’ll supply the wine. It’s a pity I can’t get to the kitchen, there’s the perfect Merlot in the cellar. I think I’ll get Freddie to drive me over to that nice off-licence on Bell’s Hill. They usually have something decent. I think three bottles will do.”
Jinnie bought a huge piece of meat, far bigger than she had intended to get, but when the butcher had brought it out of the fridge and asked how much she wanted, she had thought how good it looked, with perfect marbling, and said, “I’ll take it all, I might just cut some ribeye steaks off it for Monday or Tuesday.” The butcher asked, “How many steaks do want off it, I cut them for you.” Jinnie thought for a moment and said, “I am serving roast beef on Sunday for eight adults and two children. I was thinking of doing cottage pie with the leftovers for four adults and two children on Monday, will that be big enough for steaks for four adults and two children for Tuesday?” “Easily,” replied the butcher, “if I cut and prepare five adult steaks and cut one in half for the children, I reckon there will be plenty left over for cold roast beef sandwiches with horseradish or mustard for tea or with salad.” “Good,” said Jinnie, “I might treat the cat.”
When Jinnie got home, Sir Nigel, Izzy and Paolo each had a glass of dark red wine. Nigel said, “When you’ve put the meat away, come and try this Merlot, it is quite magnificent, just as the man in the offie said it would be. He gave me a deal on a case, so we decided to try it and we haven’t even let it breathe and it is really good. I might go back and get another couple of cases for the cellar.” “If you do, get one for us, I think it is fabulous,” said Paolo.
Having put the raw meat on a couple of plates in the bottom of the fridge, Jinnie joined them and took the glass offered to her and cautiously sipped the wine. The twins both had wine glasses full of a dark red liquid, but Jinnie had seen the bottle of Ribena concentrate on the kitchen worktop, so she knew what was in their glasses. That first sip had been good, so she took a larger mouthful and said, “My, this is good, it must have been expensive.” “Not at all,” replied Sir Nigel. “You know me and wine; I don’t mind paying for a decent bottle, but this was on the shelf at £20 a bottle, which is pretty good for an estate-bottled Merlot. The man assured me it was an absolute top-notch wine, and I said I’d take four bottles. Well, he said make it a full case and you can have it for £18 a bottle, and if you don’t like it, I’ll exchange any unopened bottles for something at a similar price point.”
“Well, I was itching to try it,” said Sir Nigel, “so we cracked open a bottle. It hasn’t had time to rest or breathe, and I must admit it is pretty good. I have paid a hell of a lot more for much worse.” “I totally agree,” said Paolo. “It’s a pity it is French, as I’m sure it’s good enough to serve at an embassy dinner party.” “It is pretty good, especially at that price,” said Jinnie. “I wonder what it would cost if we were to acquire it directly from the estate for the Trattoria Trevi. Alright, I know it’s an Italian restaurant, but the wine list is international, and we have one or two excellent Australian and South American wines. We could easily sell this.”
The twins spent a chilly Saturday afternoon out in their front garden watching the huge crawler crane that is to lift the helicopter being assembled by another smaller mobile crane. As it was getting darker, Jinnie called them in, and they ate their fish fingers and chips tea while excitedly telling everyone who would listen that they had seen soldiers on the green and they had things that the men building the crane told them were anti-aircraft missile launchers in case there were any more German planes. George told them they were SAS troops and there were more on the golf course at the back of the house. Before they went to bed, they went into Jinnie and Paolo’s bedroom where they could see the finished crane, which Willie told his mother had to be tested before it could be used to lift the helicopter.
***
On Sunday, after breakfast the twins wanted to be out in the front garden again early, to watch the RAF transporter back up the road and park just past their drive. Izzy got them in their anoraks and woolly bobble hats as it was a chilly morning, and they rushed out to watch events. They were soon chatting to everyone, the transporter driver and his mate, the armed police, an SAS trooper armed with a Starstreak anti-aircraft launcher, the riggers responsible hitching up the German helicopter, even the crane driver.
They watched the transporter being readied with its stabilisers extended and the crane being tested to make the lift. They ran between the front and the back garden where through the gate they watched the riggers placing the lifting slings around the helicopter. When Granny and Grandad Walsh arrived, they helped to unload the prepared vegetables from their car and take them into the kitchen, before rushing back out. When Aunty Penny and Uncle Dan arrived they reluctantly broke off from watching the preparations for the lift to say a quick hello before racing back to their viewpoints.
The BBC won the draw to be allowed to pool cover the lift and set up several cameras on the green and on the golf course to cover the back garden. They also asked for permission to have a camera in Jinnie’s front garden, and it was granted. This excited the twins even more, and they chatted to the riggers, the technicians, the cameramen, and even the presenters. The coverage went live 30 minutes before the lift and as always the presenters had to do a lot of filling. A lady with an iPad came over to the twins and got them to ask their mummy and daddy if they could be interviewed live on TV. It was agreed, provided that they were accompanied by Paolo, Jinnie thought she was too well known, and only their Christian names were used.
Willie and Millie came over wonderfully on the TV, firstly they looked super cute in their matching anoraks and woolly hats, but the interviewer quickly realised they were bright and talked sensibly, often finishing each other’s sentences. But it was their habit of talking in the plural that viewers loved, how they always said ‘we’ and not ‘I’. The comments on the internet poured in saying they were stars. The interviewer, who had expected to do one of those difficult interviews with children who answered only ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to every question, was amazed to be talking to children who he could hardly stop from talking. They told him how they had been at school when the helicopter landed and had only learnt about it when they came home and saw the helicopter. And how they knew George who was a hero and of course they knew Larry, he lived with them and yes they knew Uncle Nigel and were looking forward to being able to get back to using his pool, although they had heard that some of the windows needed fixing. After nearly 15 minutes of live TV the director reluctantly called an end to the interview as the lift was due to start soon.
The whole family turned out to watch the helicopter being lifted slowly up in the air as the banksman gave hand signals which were relayed to the crane driver who was at the front of the house and couldn’t see either the banksman or the load. Eventually the helicopter was above Sir Nigel’s house and he said, “I hope it doesn’t slip now” and everyone laughed. Everyone moved to the front of the house and watched as the relocated banksman signalled the helicopter down inch-perfect on to the transporter.
The programme director told the interviewer to get the twins’ reaction, but they had just been told that lunch would be ready in ten minutes. So as soon as the interviewer spoke to them they looked at their watch and said they could only talk for a few minutes as Mummy had said they had to be in for lunch in ten minutes and it was special roast beef with yummy Yorkshire puddings and vegetables from Grandad’s garden and they had to wash their hands. Once again the camera loved them, and the interviewer tried to drag the interview out until Izzy came to the front door and called them in. Ever polite, the twins said they had to go and thanked the interviewer, said goodbye and skipped off to lunch.
***
Larry sat under the table waiting for a few morsels from the meat that smelled so delicious. Jinnie said “Larry, there’s loads left, and I’ve cut some for your tea, it will be cold by then and I have got a roast potato and a Yorkshire pudding for you.” Larry meowed, but didn’t move from under the table as he was still hoping for some titbits. It wasn’t long before he heard Dan say, “This beef is fantastic, I don’t think I have ever had any so good.” Jinnie said “The butcher picked it out especially, he said it would be good, and he was spot on.” Then he heard James say, “Where did you get this wine, it is wonderful and goes perfectly with the roast beef.” Dan said, “I agree, it is really good, bet it was expensive.” Nigel replied, “I got a case for £18 a bottle, I think that is excellent value for money.”
Sir Nigel was the first to give Larry a bit of meat, it came with a bit of fat and smelt wonderful. Larry took it from Nigel’s hand and started chewing, but quickly realised it was tender, juicy and tasty and he thought ‘if all beef was like this I could like it as much as chicken.’ Soon he had been given a few bits and was eagerly looking forward to his evening meal. Izzy and Jinnie cleared the table and got the huge raspberry trifle that Izzy had made out of the fridge while Izzy filled a jug with pouring cream. Jinnie put the trifle in front of her mother, and she spooned servings into bowls. Millie said “We like Izzy’s trifle and cream, when we have it at school it’s all jelly and the cream isn’t real.” “You mean it’s artificial cream” said Jinnie. “If that means not very nice, then it’s artificial” said Willie.
They were all sat in the lounge with coffee except the twins who had hot chocolate, when George came home from his shift at the barrier. Izzy got up and let him in the front door and took him into the kitchen where she quickly warmed his dinner in the microwave. “Gosh that smells good” he said. “It’s the best beef I’ve ever had” said Izzy “I hate to think how much Jinnie paid for the joint, it was enormous.” George was soon tucking in and Izzy poured him a glass of the Merlot. He sipped it and said, “This wine is nice, did Sir Nigel supply it.” “Yes” said Izzy “it is rather good. What do you think of the meat?” “It is superb” replied George “I bet it was even better freshly carved, but even warmed in the microwave this is a super dinner.”
Izzy sat with George drinking her coffee while he ate his meal. Suddenly he said “I nearly forgot, I got ribbed by some of the squad on the barrier today. Some of the lads saw the twins on the portable TV in the hut and they called me and Larry heroes, they thought me being compared to a cat was funny. But really the twins were fantastic on TV. They were the stars of the programme, but we better not tell them, they will get big-headed.”
In Chapter 14 – Canadian Visitors
© WorthingGooner 2025
