Question Time 18th February 2021
Mark Harper (Conservative)
Nadia Whittome (Labour)
Layla Moran (Liberal Democrats)
Linda Bauld (Public Health Professor)
Peter Borg-Neal (Businessman)
Puffins, panellists and pontiffs will be pleased to hear that your humble author has given up calling people liars for Lent. Wonder how long it will last?
The first question was from Will. I’ve no idea what he said but Mark Harper (Conservative) told him that the answer was ‘yes’ and that the rollout of the vaccine was going wonderfully well. Fiona Bruce (Chair) pissed on Will and Mark’s parade by quoting what was happening in Israel. She’d dug up a factoid to bash the Tories with. But a third of the population in Isreal are children, countered Mark.
Nadia Whittome (Labour) couldn’t wait to hug her grandma again. Hmm. More about Nadia’s grandma in a moment. Nadia blamed the pandemic on the Tories because of a lack of investment in the heavily unionised public services whose unions fund the Labour Party.
Nadia Edith Whittome (a Punjab Edith?), not her real name, is the Labour MP for Nottingham East and, aged only 24, the youngest member of the House of Commons, known as the ‘Baby of the House’. Before entering the Commons, Nadia was a community activist and part-time care worker.
Nadia often claims that her parents are immigrants. This is a pork pie. Nadia’s mother is Patricia Jane Whittome (a Jaipur Patrica Jane?) also known as Patricia Fellowes, who was born in Cambridgeshire. Nadia’s grandfather, obviously, was a Mr Fellowes, her grandmother’s maiden name was MacCucthen (a Bangalore MacCutchen?). As further proof of her immigrant credentials, her younger brother is called Jeremy Charles Whittome. No doubt the streets of Darjeeling are awash with Jeremy Charles’s?
Public schoolgirl Ms Whittome also claims to be working class. This is a big fib. Her father is a self-employed businessman, Jagdip Sing Lehal, her mother, a solicitor who works in local government and has also had her own legal practice. Added to which, working-class Nadia was educated privately at the £4320 a term Holygrit School in Nottingham.
As for her higher education, she is economical with the actualité. In interview, she claims that she studied Law at Nottingham University but what she doesn’t always say is that she dropped out without graduating. Previously, Ms Whittome stood for election as a councillor. In the interests of equality, she was selected from an all-female shortlist and lost.
Interviewed in Gal-Dem, a ‘new media publication, committed to telling the stories of people of colour from marginalised genders,’ Nadia speaks emotionally of moving to London to be an £80,000 a year MP,
“I think of people’s faces, when you say community,” Nadia says, voice cracking almost imperceptibly, sunny disposition disappearing momentarily behind an emotional cloud. “I love home so much”.
In a world in which you can be anything, Nadia Whittome wants to be in Nottingham. Furthermore,
She wrinkles her nose when I ask about navigating parliament as a young South Asian woman, before telling me that she’s both “hyper-visible” and “invisible” at the same time.
Also during the Gal-Den interview, Nadia comes out as queer. If Puffins wonder what ‘queer’ means these days, they might like to contact Gal-Dem ‘Fagony Aunt’ Aisha Mizra who answers your ‘queeries about QTIBPOC health, love and life.’ In her glossy double-page press spread, £80,000 a year public schoolgirl Nadia continues,
“there’s “zero conflict” between the rights of trans people other LGBTQI+ individuals. “We have shared fights,” she says, passionately, adding that much of the transphobic rhetoric in the mainstream press comes via “privileged people’ in “double-page spreads”.
Incidentally, Gal-Dems diversity policy has resulted in every single employee being young, girlie and of colour.
During the first coronavirus lockdown and furlough, Nadia returned to Nottingham to work for ExtraCare at their Lark Hill Retirement Village, completing eight shifts during March and April 2020.
Controversially, she gave an interview to the BBC’s Newsnight programme on 24th April complaining of the village’s inadequate supply of PPE. In The Guardian newspaper on May 6th 2020, Whittome claimed that following the interview, ExtraCare had asked her not to return. ExtraCare disputed this.
On referring to Nadia’s disclosure of MPs interests, her ExtraCare wages are declared at £467 for 54 hours work. The only other entry is a donation of £3000 from a Robert Gaurav Singh Johal, registered on 11th January 2020. Mr Johal is an RSA regulated solicitor who is not currently practising. At present, he claims to be a director and board adviser to start-ups/growth businesses and an angel investor, particularly through his JohalCo business. As well as JohalCo, Mr Johal is a director of a bewildering array of companies, whose boards are packed with other Johals. Many of these businesses are registered at an address in Nottingham, Sovereign House, a big shed which offers co-working spaces and serviced offices from £30 a week.
On the 23rd October 2020, Nadia’s mother registered a business called Syon Legal and Construction Limited. Its registered address is at a company formations agency in central London. With Nadia being on the House of Commons environment and sustainable development committee, donor Mr Johal being an investment and start-up angel, and Mrs Whittome having set up a legal and construction company, might the three of them be about to align like planets? Possibly around a property development? And should the QT Review telescope remain pointed at them just in case? Perhaps it should.
Others spoke from the QT50 panel but I struggled to hear what they said. Some of them have poor audio, some of them have silly accents and the rest of them have both. For instance, it sounded like, “A transparent blowback and not play hokey cokey any more.” Surely nobody actually said that?
Linda Bould (Public Health Professor) cheered us all up with mention of the ‘escaped mutant’. The virus had been out and about for so long that it had mutated into all these other variations. Going back to the classroom would have an impact on the R. She sounded quite pessimistic. Professor Linda was in a sparse room sat beside a big vase of St Valentine’s Day red roses. It was obvious that she’d bought them for herself. Not a nice thing to think, especially during Lent, but a gentleman can tell.
Professor Linda Bauld FRCPE FRSE FAcSS FFPH is the Bruce and John Usher Chair in Public Health at the Usher Institute, the University of Edinburgh. Linda was educated privately at the Glenlyon Norfolk School in Oak Bay, British Columbia. Linda is not a medical doctor, she is a behavioural scientist with a PhD in social policy, who originally graduated in Political Science at the University of Toronto.
Peter Borg-Neal (Businessman) wanted an end to all of this. Like Morpheus, he said, the road map ahead kept on changing shape. Lockdown causes damage, to health as well as the economy. My best fiend ‘island of Ireland’ panellist Linda spoke from in front of the fireplace. She’d decided the vaccine might not work and that we mustn’t let the virus (or the Brits?) rule us.
Speaking of escaped mutants, Layla Moron (LibDem) had spotted a P One variant. As she spoke she gestured with her hands, suggesting that her ideal P One might be about a foot long. She said ‘hokey cokey’! She wanted it slow and steady. Miss Moron referred to people as “guys” and “kids.” Yuk. Her hands were all over the place by now, as if trying to drive an out of control traction engine. We should pay people to isolate, she suggested.
Mark Harper wasn’t keen on lockdown, after enough people have been vaccinated (the top nine groups), that should be the end of it.
“What about long Covid?” said Layla. I must say, Miss Moron looked rather lush, with a plunging neckline and large speckle patterned dress that she somewhat suited. Peter Borg wanted the lockdown lifted too. As per the rest of the pandemic, there is a tug of war between the spread of the illness and the stifling of economic activity.
Layla Moron is the ludicrous MP for Oxford West and Abingdon. In the interests of equality, she was educated privately at £13,305 a term Roedean school, before studying Physics at Imperial College London and taking a Post Graduate Certificate in Education at Brunel University.
In order to meet lots of poor people, Layla taught Maths and Physics at the International School of Brussels (fees, 40,000 Euros per year) and Southbank International School (fees, £10,560 per term) before becoming an MP in 2012.
Her mother’s side of the family is Palestinian, her grandfather being oud player Wasif Jawhariyyeh, whose work, “The Storyteller of Jerusalem: The Life and Times of Wasif Jawhariyyeh, 1904-1948,” is currently the 920,370th most popular book on the Kindle store. Miss Moran has herself put pen to paper, recently editing a 128-page publication entitled, “Build Back Better”. In it, forty Libdem party backers, including the unputdownable Vince Cable and the riveting Lyne Featherstone, put forward their progressive leftie manifestoes.
Miss Moron’s own suggestions include free broadband, free water and free energy for everybody plus a taxpayer-funded universal salary (in return for not doing anything). Sadly, without the drawing power of “The Storyteller of Jerusalem: The Life and Times of Wasif Jawhariyyeh, 1904-1948”, “Bring Back Better” doesn’t appear to be on Amazon at all.
Despite a face like an axe wound in a melon, decorated by goggle specs beneath hair like a spilt tin of black paint, Layla has a sex life and identifies as pansexual. In order to avoid being impolite during Lent, your humble author felt obliged to seek professional advice:
Re: Appropriate Pronouns
I have to host a pan-sexual late this evening and wonder what pronoun I should use?
Miss, Ms, Mrs and Mx, seem somehow inappropriate and I wouldn’t want to cause offence.
Hoping for a prompt reply,
A Worth-Saying (He/Him/His)
Being less gullible than Dominic Lawson or Wilfred Emmanuel-Jones’s agent (plus lockdown being a busy time for Fagony Aunts), I still await Aisha’s guidance. In the meantime, I will persist with ‘Miss’.
Tony asked a question. He had a picture of a Nimrod up on the wall. “No jab no job?” he wondered.
Peter Borg-Neal wanted people to take the vaccine but didn’t want to force them to, or to exclude members of his team on those grounds.
A QT Review biography of Peter Borg-Neal can be found here. A key point being that in both his education and career Mr Borg-Neal has been involved with the hospitality industry. QT Review 24th September expressed concern that Peter’s business, Oakman’s Inns, had expanded rapidly through acquisitions, become heavily indebted and was losing money, even before being hit by pandemic lockdowns.
Only last week, the Oxford Mail reported that Oakman’s was raising more capital by offering shares. However, referring to the company website shows that this share offer is not,
“a regulated financial promotion, no public offer of securities are being made and, as such, the investment materials can only be viewed if you qualify as one of the following:”
The qualifications being; an existing creditor or shareholder in the group, a high net worth individual (earning over £100,000 or with assets outwith your primary residence exceeding £250,000) or a ‘self-certified sophisticated investor’ which Oakman’s define with a fairly high bar including the dreaded words ‘business angel.’
In a horrible time for hospitality, QT Review can only conclude that Oakman’s are running out of cash. In these circumstances, the nightmare scenario is that creditors and existing shareholders throw good money after bad in order to try to cut their losses.
On a more optimistic note, in the Oxford Mail, Oakman’s Chief Investment Officer Stephen Kenee said that £3.8m of share applications had been received. CEO Dermot King added that pubs would re-open at the first opportunity. He expected them to trade very strongly and claimed that there was an unsatisfied demand for premium pubs such as Oakman’s.
By the way, Gal-Dem’s stories of people of colour from marginalised genders is absolute comedy gold. I certainly can’t compete with it. If you’ve had enough of this, then log on to that and laugh until you’re sick on the carpet (or until you die, like when people used to die laughing in front of The Goodies).
Miss Layla Moron thought obligation was out of the question. But why? Because of the BAME hesitancy. There were ‘reasons’ for BAME vaccine hesitancy. Layla wasn’t even going to make vaccines compulsory for healthcare workers. Bruce told Layla that there were two care homes, one where the staff are vaccinated, one where they aren’t. Which one are you going to send granny Moron to? Ahhh. We all know the answer. Poor granny Moron (or rather Granny Jawhariyyeh) is not as important as escaped mutant Layla’s adolescent political correctness.
Just to emphasise the PC woke crackpot crap, somebody from the QT50 panel said pregnant people!!!!! hahahahaha.
Mark said that we aren’t one of those countries where you have to show your papers. Really? Has Mark actually tired to do anything lately? We’re bogged down in bits of paper all day and all night. Presumably, Mark’s butler and maid do all of that for him.
Mark Harper is the Conservative backbench MP for the Forest of Dean. Mark studied Politics, Philosophy and Economics at Brasenose College, Oxford, before an accountancy career with KPMG and in his own practice. He was elected to parliament in 2005.
Mark rose to become a minister and even had his own cleaner. For seven years between 2007 and 2014, the diligent Ms Isabella Acevedo invoiced Mr Harper for weekly cleaning and ironing. Via Mr Harper’s diligent submission of his expense claims we can see that, in 2008, Isabella was paid £7.33 an hour. Diligent attention to “A Fairer London: The 2008 Living London Wage in London”, reveals the then Mayor of London declaring, of the likes of Isabella:
“It is right that their skills and contributions to the city’s success are recognised, and one of the most fundamental ways of doing this is to ensure that all Londoners are paid appropriately. That means being paid at least the ‘London Living Wage’, which is designed to provide a minimum acceptable quality of life.”
The document was published on the 1st of July, recommending a London Living Wage of £7.45 per hour. What kind of an evil rotter would pay his cleaner so little that she couldn’t be provided with ‘the minimum acceptable quality of life’? Yes, Mark Harper! We can see from Isabella’s plaintiff invoices, no doubt typed by hungry fingers attached to emaciated hands, that he kept on paying her only £7.33 an hour throughout July 2008. Shame on him.
And who was the mayor at the time? Not (arguably) some nutty leftie worth ignoring but no less than Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. I wonder what happened to him?
I know what happened to Ms Acevodo, she was deported back to Colombia! By 2014, Mr Harper had become an immigration minister, responsible for the “go home” van adverts encouraging illegal immigrants to leave the country, and also responsible for steering an immigration bill though parliament that obliged employers to check on the immigration status of their staff. However, it emerged that Ms Acevodo was herself an illegal immigrant, and had been employed illegally by Mr Harper for many years. Mr Harper claims he didn’t realise, as he hadn’t checked her documentation in full. Obviously, as a Tory MP and accountant, Mark is incapable of pork pies, fibs or actualité economy. And, with it being Lent, one feels obliged to believe him. However, at the time, Mark had to resign.
In an attempt at peak Tory, Isabella was detained at her daughter’s wedding by fifteen immigration officers accompanied by a small number of police officers. She was taken away in a van. In a further attempt at peak Tory, Ms Acevodo was deported in the middle of the night with her daughter not being informed until after the event.
Back to Tony the questioner. He spoilt everything by saying he was in awe of the NHS. Take that picture of the Nimrod off his wall and give it to a more deserving home. Nadia mentioned white middle-class people, stop and search and insecure immigration status, which is why there shouldn’t be any vaccine passports. Now we know.
The next question was about free speech at universities. Layla Moron was showing a bit of leg as well as much neckline. She didn’t appear interested in free speech, rather used her free speech to slag off Education Secretary Mr Gavin Williamson.
Nadia thought this wasn’t an issue on campus. It was a culture war stoked by the government. Higher education had been cut to the bone. What planet does she live on? Has she been to a university recently? They’re like dining clubs for Roman Emperors. Nadia believed in freedom of speech but not freedom to actually speak, as she said there was no right to a platform to speak on.
The hairy leftie cretins in the QT50 panel used their freedom of speech to slag off Williamson even more and in doing so showed their contempt for the victims of the narrow-minded progressive bubble bullies on campuses. I’ll use my freedom of speech to say that higher education should be privatised, with no more tax-payer involvement. Earn the tuition fees by working and saving, or borrow it from the bank at a commercial rate. If the bank won’t lend you the money, take the hint, it means the course isn’t worth doing.
The final question was, what should we do about Harry and Megan? They seem to have been seduced by an Oprah Winfrey style celebrity circus.
Nadia extended her well wishes to recently hospitalised Prince Phillip, a genuine immigrant. Her concern was totally fake. The Labour Party are under Red Wall orders to pretend to be patriotic. Harry and Meghan weren’t a priority, leave them alone. Miss Layla Moron wanted nothing to be done either and didn’t have a view, other than to play the race card. Her hands were all over the place again, as if using her feminine charms to pleasure a racist. Peter Borg didn’t care either, even calling Meghan and Harry ‘celebrities’ rather than royalty. Ouch. Professor Linda reflected upon a horrible year. We need to look ahead with kindness and compassion. Mark wished Meghan and Harry well with their expected child. There were duties as well as privileges. Harry and Meghan were ploughing their own furrows and Oprah’s too.
That’s the view from Question Time, said Bruce, thanking everybody in sight and ending the programme. As the camera panned out, your humble reviewer felt obliged to thank La Moron as she showed off even more leg as well as giving a glimpse of THOSE high heels. Gets my vote.
© Always Worth Saying 2021
The Goodnight Vienna Audio file