Question Time 11th June 2020
Robert Buckland (Conservative)
Vaughan Gething (Labour)
Liz Saville-Roberts (Plaid Cymru)
Sir Rocco Forte (Businessman)
Bernardine Evaristo (Author)
The public health official who single handedly ended the Great Plague (by burning down London), personal senior epidemiology, virology and immunology advisor to David Icke, His Grace, the Nobel laureate, The Very Reverend Professor Doctor Sir Robert Peston MD FRCS DPhil MPhil FRS ITV, Sultan and High Yang di-Pertuan of “The Peston Show”, can’t attend this evening’s programme, as he must distribute face masks at a Black Lives Matter protest.
To ensure his safety, Dr Sir Robert is clad in personalised protective equipment sent by a second cousin from Crowsville, Lousiana. For the purpose of hygiene, Robert wears a long-sleeved white gown which reaches all the way to the ground.
To prevent droplet inhalation, he wears a full face cloth mask with white pointed hood. In order to be able to see the grateful demonstrators, it contains two eye sockets. He understands that some recent welcome arrivals to our country are religious people, rather superstitious. To reassure them, he carries a six-foot-high white crucifix. As the programme begins, Sir Dr Robert is on the tube to Brixton.
Privileged businessman Rocco Forte is the son of Lord Forte, the hotelier. Rocco is further privileged in that he attended Pembroke College, Oxford, founded in 1624 by King James I. As every Puffin knows, it was during that reign that the British colonisation of the America’s began. It is with a heavy heart that QT Review is, therefore, forced to no-platform Sir Rocco.
Liz Saville-Roberts is the Plaid Cymru spokesperson in the House of Commons. Although they are trying to be more inclusive (Liz is English, loopy previous leader Leanne Woods couldn’t speak Welsh), truth to tell, Plaid have never had an MP of colour. An obligatory QT Review no-platforming follows.
Author Bernardine Evaristo had a privileged education at Goldsmith’s College, the University of London, which was founded by the Worshipful Company of Goldsmith’s in 1891. QT Review was horrified to learn that the Company extracted its raw material from Africa, plundered from the Dark continent. Therefore, QT Review is obliged to extract Ms Evaristo from the panel.
In 1990, Robert Buckland graduated from Hatfield College, named after Thomas de Hatfield, Bishop of Durham. On July 12th 1346, without the support of a United Nations resolution, Bishop Thomas took part in King Edward III’s (illegal) invasion of France. Not only that, on 26th August 1346, the Bishop was a protagonist in the Battle of Crecy, in which foreigners were killed. As Cecil Rhodes must fall in Oxford, the QT Review no-platforming gavel must also fall, this time on Robert Buckland.
Vaughan Gething was born in Zambia in 1974. Unfortunately, since moving to the United Kingdom, he has culturally appropriated not only a collar, tie and suit but even a posh English accent. Along with Ant and Dec, Bo Selecta, Walliams and Lucas and the entire cast of the Black and White Minstrel Show, Vaughan cannot be allowed to appear in this week’s QT Review.
As for £15,000 an hour equality champion Fiona Bruce, trigger warning. Fiona’s family made their money from chemicals conglomerate Unilever. She attended Haberdasher Aske’s School.
Unilever are famous for a particular depiction of colour in their soap adverts. They are also known for profiting from their involvement in King Leopold’s Belgian Congo. A colony in which, some claim, up to 15 million Congolese may have perished. As recently as 1985, Unilever’s Indian tea plantation pickers were earning as little as $1.20 a day. It would take them
((1.2 / 1.28) * 40 * 52 / (15000 * 1.28 [/1.28?] * 40 * 365) * ? ) days forever to earn what Fiona earns in an hour.
Fiona lived in the colonies, Singapore. Her English school was endowed by Robert Aske, an East India Company merchant. In his nutty documentary, Fiona’s BBC colleague, the unhinged leftie non-historian Dan Snow, blamed the East India Company for absolutely everything, even a famine in Bengal which may have killed up to 3 million souls. We shall humour him. He serves our purpose. Since Fiona’s privilege appears to have been bought on the backs of 18,000,000 dead natives, I have set up a change.org petition to have her replaced as Question Time chair. Feel free to sign.
The Puffin is a determined and resourceful bird, never lost for words. Despite having no-platformed the chair and all of the panellists, we shall persist with a two thousand word review.
Last week, we concluded that the world has gone mad. It has since gone madder. In a week of lows, it is difficult to know what the lowest point might be. As more and more mainstream and social media becomes unwatchable, I have disconnected myself from Twitter, after being informed that Churchill is literally worse than Hitler and that stopping the Holocaust was literally worse than the Holocaust. Another low was the behaviour of the constabulary. Having been dragged away from mean tweets and using their physic powers to visit people’s houses before they posted “transphobia”, the police, perhaps not surprisingly, struggled when introduced to a race war.
It’s difficult to know what their lowest point might have been. Ordinarily, we would have had a winner when, rather than clear the road of thugs, a police officer was photographed giving the black power salute in front of a “F*** Madeline McCann” sign. Was it a photoshop? No, the original is here. The cropped version that appears on the Getty Images website is here. Another Getty image from another angle is here. That’s the American Embassy in the background.
Clearing patriots away from the Cenotaph and Churchill statue, so that they could be vandalised by anti-British racists, was another low. This (who would have guessed it?), along with going down on their knees in front of them, earned no respect from the mob. As you know, being pelted with missiles and punched, dozens of officers were injured while running away.
Incidentally, some Daily Mail reports referred to the desecration of Churchill’s statue as “tagging”. They are not on our side.
Meanwhile, in Barrow-in-Furness, there was an outbreak of White Lives Matter, with South Asian businesses being attacked over the weekend. Unlike London and Bristol, the local constabulary was, amazingly, a bit quicker off the mark in making arrests. For legal reasons, your reviewer must be careful what he writes at this point, not least because his solicitor is in jail.
Suffice it to say, one yearns for the days when police corruption consisted of the occasional fifty quid changing hands down at the Masonic Lodge and startled shop keepers and householders being told to “add it to the insurance claim” as coppers helped themselves to what was left after a burglary.
The media had a bad week too. There’s an apocryphal tale of St Benedict stripping himself naked and throwing himself into a thorn bush, beside his cave, when temptation called. Likewise, they say that second-century theologian Origen had himself castrated in place of temptation. Not so St John of Barnes who, upon the call of the flesh, shares on social media a pornographic video of two black men beating and abusing a white woman. Helpfully, it was captioned, “Punch Bagging.” This didn’t prevent St John’s subsequent apparitions on the television news, pontificating about the evils of *cough* racism.
Later in the week, had St John been replaced by Raheem Stirling? Raheem’s contribution to peace and harmony includes having a machine gun tattooed on his leg. From his £3m Cheshire mansion, Mr Stirling knows all about the brothers, two hundred miles away, in the London hood. Another media expert, Lewis Hamilton, avoids the accusation of hypocrisy by living in Monaco in order to
pay no tax see more black people. Lewis drives for Mercedes, who supplied cars to the Nazi’s. Lewis, in order to right this historical wrong, is going to return all of the money that Mercedes have paid him. Oh.
However, some of the usual experts have been strangely quiet. Perhaps news of the ghetto hasn’t got through to inner-city know all, life long equality stalwart and former Black and White Minstrel Show “comedian”, Sir Lenny Henry in his £3 million cliffside mansion on the multi-cultural Cornish coast?
Remaining with the media, one must admire Newsnight’s racially inclusive fortitude, with its diverse lineup of five rich white presenters from London. In the present circumstances, the brass neck of Ms Emma Barnett deserves a special mention, given that the family made their money from people trafficking, prostitution and money laundering. Is there a statue of her father? Is it being rolled towards Prestwich canal as I type?
Why has the London media melted down? It is due to three immutable’s. Space being tight, we shall address them next time.
Your humble and inadequate reviewer was always puzzled that Putin, Kim Jong-un and the Chinese Secret Service should use social media to bend time and space in order to elect Donald Trump as President. Cutting regulation, lowering taxes, expanding the economy, reducing unemployment and strengthening the military, seemed an odd way to bring Uncle Sam to his knees. It reads like an alternative universe revenge movie where Liam Neeson snarls, “I will chase you, I will find you and when I do I will give you a big house in the countryside with a swimming pool and a sports car on the drive.”
Why not damage America by prodding at its racial divide? Whereas claiming outside interference in politics is compulsory, claiming outside interference in race is strictly forbidden. I’m not saying that that is what is happening, just that an interesting double standard exists.
Which brings us to Black Lives Matter UK.
According to the Civil Society Media website, Black Lives Matter UK isn’t a charity but rather a coalition of black activists and organisers. They don’t have a website of their own but are active on Twitter and Instagram. They also have a GoFundMe page which, amongst other things, states:
“We’re guided by a commitment to dismantle imperialism, capitalism, white-supremacy, patriarchy and the state structures that disproportionately harm black people in Britain and around the world.”
Presumably, people donating on the right-hand side of the page haven’t read the left-hand side, which is full of anti-British racist lies and includes a commitment to abolish the police. So far (Thursday morning) they have raised over eight hundred and twenty thousand (completely un-accountable) pounds.
Black Lives Matter Limited was incorporated at Companies House on Monday. That is how quickly the situation is developing. At the moment, it is an empty shell. Your reviewer will keep an eye on it. In the United States, according to the FT, large amounts of corporate money is moving into BLM. Over here, corporations will be pressured to pay for BLM UK “anti-racist” accreditation, in the same way that some have to pay for Halal accreditation. The UKBLM Facebook page commits to direct action, in other words, breaking the law. A list of lawyers who will assist is provided.
Patriots, I have checked the roost, it is full of chickens. I have looked in the cage, the canary is dead. Make no mistake, my friends, this is race war. Aye, Ready. No Surrender.
Sign the petition.
© Always Worth Saying 2020
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