Larry’s Diary Week Twelve

Monday

It’s a big day today, it’s the State Opening of Parliament, including a Queens Speech and Bozzie has got to look his best. I wonder if he’ll comb his hair? Will the Stinkies try to block the Queens carriage? I’ll be watching on TV.

There was an interesting story in yesterday’s paper. It claimed that The Tramp is worn out, is ready to stand down and that Marxist McDonnell is virtually running things at the moment. It went on to claim that the moving of Karie Murphy, the Tramps long time aid and supporter, away from the Leaders Office to a non-job in Labour HQ was down to the Marxist. Some of the true believers in Momentum want him to be the much talked about temporary PM. That will not go down well with the Limp Dumps.

I watched the Queens Speech on one of the TV’s in the offices. I was pleased to see that the police had cleared all the Stinkies out of the way and there were plenty of servicemen and women lining the streets with fixed bayonets, just in case. I must admit that the Queen is beginning to look very old and was struggling to walk without the support of Charles. The TV was on BBC and I had to put up with their usual bias with a studio full of Remoaners, the sooner I learn how to use one of those box things that people use to change the TV channel the better.

I was astounded to hear that fat Labour MP, I think his name is Richard Burden, boasting that Labour has been having secret negotiations with the EU over a withdrawal agreement for several years. In my view it’s treason to go behind the governments back and negotiate a treaty with a foreign power. The Chancellor has announced that he will give a Budget Speech on 6th November, provided we have left the EU on 31st October. If by any chance we haven’t left then it will be a Financial Statement. If we have left this is going to be a very interesting Budget because it will set up the country to operate outside the EU and there are likely to be huge tax changes.

Tuesday

I listened to the Mogg on the radio as I lounged around the flat after Breakfast. He is such a polite man, no matter what is thrown at him he bats it away gently and gives a cogent answer. What a pity he is no longer able to have his regular Friday night radio show, I miss it. The Police have finally taken action to clear the Extinction Rebellion Stinkies out of London. They have issued a Section 14 Order covering the whole of London banning their Processions and Gatherings. They started by clearing out the camp in Trafalgar Square and will soon be moving on to a second camp on Clapham Common. The Stinkies were still out protesting in London this morning at the Department of Transport’s offices. The co-founder of ER climbed on the roof over the entrance doors and used a hammer to smash windows before she was arrested. I hope she get sent to prison for criminal damage.

Bozzie had that big Irish woman and the DUP leader in the Commons around last night for a meeting. They closed the door before I could nip in but I lay down on the mat outside and caught snatches of the conversation coming under the door. Bozzie nearly trod on me when he came out 90 minutes later as I had fallen asleep, but the Irish woman bent down and stroked me, I am warming to her. I think that they agreed on some compromises on the “Back Stop” as Bozzie’s parting comment was “l’ll get a draft of that drawn up and over to you in the morning, so that we can send it to Brussels”. That French bloke Barnier was on the TV just now saying that “intense talks” were still going on and that an agreement could still be reached. I wonder if Bozzie’s new suggestions had got to him yet. Barnier went on to say that an agreement had to be reached today, a date that a No 10 spokesman said he did not recognise and that talks were continuing. However, I hear rumours that if needed there might be another EU summit next week. This would make the Benn Act deadline look silly.

Wednesday

It was Felix Chicken for Breakfast so I started the day in a good mood. Listening to Bozzie talking I think my guess as to if and when we get a new Brexit Treaty is as good as his. All the press seems to know what is going on but every one of them tells a different story so they are all obviously guessing. All I know for sure is that the talks are still going on and that our side turned up a bit late this morning. I went out the front door to pose for the Press, they like to take my photo when nothing much else is happening. When I got back indoors that big Irish Woman and her crew had arrived and were in talks with Bozzie. They didn’t come past me so they must have crept secretly in the back door. It was too late for me to hear what was going on as the meeting room door was shut.

There was a cabinet meeting this afternoon where Bozzie gave an update on the negotiations in Brussels but I still can’t get into the room to find out what’s going on. They have made sure I am not in the meeting rooms a lot recently, I hope they haven’t marked me down as the leaker. Bozzie is supposed to be briefing the 1922 committee later, Merkin and Macaroon are going to give a joint press conference and Barnier is going to brief E.U. Ambassadors. But it all depends on what happens in the talks. Earlier Barnier did say they had the basis of an agreement but they still need to do a lot of work. Some people are saying that discussions could go on all week! I hope not, I don’t think I could stand it!

Now the DUP are back in for more talks, I just don’t know what the hell’s going on. I’m off for my dinner and then I’ll retire to my cat basket. I expect to wake up to more exciting news in the morning.

Thursday

Up reasonably early this morning because Bozzie is off to the E.U. summit in Brussels. I wandered into the kitchen for breakfast and was amazed to hear on the radio that we had reached an agreement with the E.U. on a new withdrawal deal. No wonder Bozzie was sniggering into his bowl of porridge. Carrie always makes sure he has a decent breakfast before he goes off on a trip. When I went to sleep last night this looked to be most unlikely, I wonder what happened overnight.

Another event this morning is the ER Stinkies trying to stop the Underground. They didn’t expect the public to fight back. It was wonderful to see them being dragged and pushed off those train roofs and being attacked. Then their cameraman also got it, being roughed up by the public. Consequently, ER has rethought its plans to attack Gatwick Airport and has cancelled them. I learn that the DUP aren’t very happy after being briefed about the new deal and the Labour Party have stated that “it’s worse than May’s Deal” before they have seen any details. Saturday is going to be interesting in the HoC. Apparently Labour MP’s have been told that if they vote for the deal they will lose the whip. Isn’t this just what they criticised the Tories for? Even so, several have already confirmed that they will vote for the new deal.

The Tramp lost another MP overnight due to the Labour anti-Semitism scandal, I don’t know how many that makes. The MP, Dame Louise Ellman, who has been a Labour MP for 22 years, has been in the Party for over 55 years, said that Corbyn was not fit to be Prime Minister. She will now sit as an Independent. Bozzie and Drunker have just given a press conference, but there is a new rumour this afternoon. It’s that Bozzie is going to ask the E.U. Summit to make this new deal the only deal they will offer and to tell the HoC that it’s either this deal or no deal. In this case, if the HoC rejects the new deal and enforces the Benn Act, they will not offer an extension thus we would leave on 31st October on WTO terms. In fact, Drunker has just been on TV saying just that, reject this deal and there will be no extension. Is this what Bozzie has been planning all along? Those Tory MP’s that lost the whip over voting for the Surrender Act are to have a meeting with party representatives to see if they are willing to vote for the new deal. There are over 20 of them and it could make a big difference to whether it passes or not. As an incentive, they may regain the whip if they vote in favour.

Friday

Considering what a busy day yesterday was, today it’s really quiet. The MSM is full of speculation as to who may or may not support the new treaty. Boris needs to win over some Labour MP’s and the independents who were chucked out to win. The Tory Whips have been very busy on the phones, while Labour Whips have been pressuring their MPs in constituencies that voted Leave. Can he do it, we only have to wait till tomorrow.

I had a good laugh this morning when it was pointed out that the Tramp had been condemning the new Treaty “as worse than Mrs Mays Deal” and listing what he claimed was wrong with it, half an hour before it was published. Is he clairvoyant or was he caught out making it up? The ER Stinkies have been out in force in London this morning. They have built a Bamboo Pyramid in the middle of Oxford Circus and some have climbed up it and locked themselves on to it. I wonder who allowed them to bring great big bamboo poles into central London and why the police allowed them to build it? Personally, I think it should be used as the basis for a big bonfire, those idiots locked onto it would soon get down.

Talking of Stinkies I was interested to see that of the six people arrested for interfering with trains in East London yesterday only one came from London. Two of them had been previously arrested on ER Protests and one of them was in breach of his bail conditions, however, all six are out on bail again. If you breach your bail conditions I think you should be locked up until you appear in court. Now I hear that one of the Stinkies is climbing up the scaffolding surrounding the Elizabeth Tower (Big Ben), I hope he falls off.

Boris held a quick cabinet meeting this afternoon, it lasted less than an hour. I couldn’t get in again. I tried, but the Mogg stopped to stroke me on his way in and the door was shut before I could react. Mind, when he came out after the meeting the Mogg got into the wrong ministerial car. He had to jump out quickly and find the right one. The Remoaners continue to try to thwart our leaving the E.U. by raising court cases. Today’s example was again in the Scottish courts, where they wanted to have the new Withdrawal Agreement thrown out on the grounds that it was not compatible with U.K. tax law. Unfortunately for the Remoaners the judge chucked the case out saying it was for Parliament to decide and added “It is a cardinal principle of constitutional law that the courts should not intrude on the legitimate affairs and processes of parliament”. Right, it’s time to see if they’ve filled my food bowl up yet, as I need to get to my basket early tonight. It’s the Saturday sitting tomorrow and it starts early, 09:30. I hear the whips have told everybody they have to be on the estate early.

Saturday

Bozzie was up early so my Breakfast was bang on time. He’d been messing around for ages, honing his speech on his government issue iPad and trying bits out on the Little Otter. I did a quick rodent patrol, popped out into the garden for a poo and then wandered down to the offices to catch Bozzie on TV. I thought he gave a pretty good speech but the Poison Dwarf had stacked the deck against him again by selecting Letwin’s amendment. When the vote on the amendment came I wasn’t surprised it was lost, there are just too many Remoaners in the HoC. Anyway, Bozzie then said he was going to obey the law but seemed to indicate that he wasn’t going to write the infamous letter by saying “I will not negotiate with the E.U.” Macaroon phoned up and Bozzie told Dom he might veto an extension. Then Donald “Elephant” Tusk phoned up to ask if he was going to write the letter and I hear Bozzie said yes.

The best thing was the Mogg upsetting the Poison Dwarf by not making an emergency statement about Monday’s business. Instead he raised a point of order to say what would be discussed and that he would make a fuller statement on Monday. Because he used a point of order he couldn’t be questioned and this upset the opposition. He then sat there for a bit nodding now and then before getting up and walking out which upset them all over again. It was lovely.

Of course, today was the day of the Remoaner March and when several tory ministers left the Commons to walk home they were surrounded by baying mobs of Remoaners. They had to be escorted by squads of police to ensure their safety. I saw Gove and Leadsom had problems but perhaps the worst was the Mogg who had his 12 year old son with him. When a similar thing happened to Sozzleberry the Police arrested and charged a man, bet nothing like that happens today. Tonight I heard that Bozzie is going to send two letters to the E.U. The first letter is the one laid down under the Benn Act asking for an extension, but he will not sign it. In the second letter he will say that the first letter is not from him but from Parliament and that he doesn’t want an extension under any circumstances. He will sign the second letter. Downing Street expects some legal challenges. The E.U. is reported to “have no appetite” for an extension.

Well I’m off to find my evening meal and then to my cat basket. I somehow suspect I’m going to have to write an entry to my diary tomorrow and not have my usual day off.
 

© WorthingGooner 2019
 

The Goodnight Vienna Audio file