Larry’s Diary Week Ten

Monday

Another new week and still a stand-in feeding me, fortunately this one likes the radio on LBC and I can listen to Nick Ferrari while I eat. He had an interview with the Saj this morning. Just as I have been telling you The Saj said that Dilyn gets on very well with his dog Bailey. He was then asked how they got on with yours truly. The Saj said “Larry is very territorial, he attacks the dogs”. What a cheek, he forgets I am the one with an official title, I am the Chief Mouser. It is my job, and has been for many years, to keep the vermin population of the Downing Street in hand for which I am paid an official stipend. This IS my territory and these Johnny come lately mutts are just pets. If they do not recognise my superiority I will continue to have to show them who is the boss.

There are two big stories around today. The first one is that Bozzie has been reported to the police watchdog for financial irregularities while Mayor of London. It seems the claim is that he got grants arranged for a lady who it is then claimed he was having an affair with. He is not being investigated by the police, but by their watchdog because it is claimed he as London Mayor was in charge of the police. Don’t I remember Sad Dick saying that he could not be investigated by the police watchdog over stabbings in London because as Mayor he was not in charge of the police. In the next few weeks we will know if the watchdog is to even investigate him. But Bozzie denies that he did anything wrong.

The second story is that he squeezed the thigh of a lady, at lunch, 20 years ago. Bozzie says it didn’t happen. It’s a classic she said/he said case, with apparently no witnesses. Listening to people talk on the radio they simply don’t care about this. What has emerged is that the claimant is the girl friend of Robert Peston and was an activist. The press also said that the same thing happened to a second woman sat the other side of Bozzie and identified her as Dom’s Wife. However, she issued a statement today saying that it was not her. The thing that is interesting, is that both of these attacks have been timed for maximum political effect.

Just as I’m thinking of heading to my Cat Basket I hear a rumour that Bozzie is about to send an offer to the EU. As Bozzie is in Manchester I have only heard chat in the offices so I will have to wait until tomorrow and see what else I hear.

Tuesday

Another quiet Breakfast Time with only the stand-in feeder and the radio for company, however I did hear Bozzie being questioned by Nick Ferrari. I thought Nick was a bit pushy with his questions and Bozzie refused to answer quite a lot that where about his Brexit plans, saying he didn’t want to give away his ideas. The Labour Party have said that they don’t intent to call a VoNC this week. Is it because they are afraid they wouldn’t win a vote or is it because the opposition parties can’t decide who would be their candidate for PM? Labour want the Tramp to be PM but other parties, particularly the Limp Dumps, don’t want him to be.

I watched Priti Patel give her speech on Law and Order and it seemed to go down well. She wants to get tough on prison sentences for violence, making future prisoners being serve two thirds of a prison sentence instead of half as at present. She also wants to employ smart tags on people convicted of Alcohol related offences. These tags sample the wearers sweat every 30 seconds to check if they have been drinking. It’s a good job it’s not considered murder when Cats Kill birds or Vermin or I would be locked up for ever. This evening it’s being reported that some of the EU states are telling the EU to offer a fixed length on the Back Stop. No mention on how long it would be. More importantly would it be a big enough concession to get it through the HoC.
It’s been a very quite day to today. I expect tomorrow will be busier with Bozzie giving his conference speech just before 12:00hrs. Rabb is standing in for him a Prime Ministers questions at Diane Abbotpotamus standing in for the Tramp. I wonder if I can watch two channels at the same time. With Bozzie in Manchester I wonder if Labour will take the chance to call a surprise VoNC.

Wednesday

I hate doing anything on an empty stomach so I like to look for Breakfast before I do my normal patrol round the Downing Street Estate, but the stand-in girl was late this morning. So I did a bit of my patrol and then went back to find that she had been and my food was there together with a fresh bowl of water. I don’t care very much for tap water, I prefer to have a drink from the bird bath in the garden, I think it tastes better but the cat bowl does in an emergency! Anyway, I ate my fill and wandered off to finish my patrol ending up in the rear garden for a drink.

I then went to my spot under a desk in the office so that I could watch Bozzie’s Conference speech. There has been a lot of speculation overnight about a new EU deal being announced in the Speech. When he came on stage Bozzie got an excellent reception from the audience. He started of with quite a lot of jokes, I liked the one about Kangaroo testicles. Then he got into the substance of the speech but never really got into any details of the new deal, only saying that one was going to be presented to the EU that afternoon. Bozzie sent the Chief Negotiator, David Frost, over to Brussels on the Eurostar to present his latest ideas. The papers where released in the U.K. a little while after they were presented to the EU. Of course all the Remoaners say that they are rubbish but the DUP are onside. The EU, where as always, unenthusiastic and have promised more in the morning.

PMQs was a bit of a nothing burger without Bozzie. The only thing to note was that the Abbotpotamus proved once again how mathematically challenged she is by trying to ask seven questions when the limit is six. It was also announced today that Parliament is to be Prorogued next week before the Queens Speech. I wonder if that Gina Miller person will accept it this time round.

Thursday

Well I’m delighted that Bozzie and the Little Otter are back as they are quite reliable with my feeding times, often giving me my favourite Felix Chicken and as you all know filling my stomach is very important to me. Not a great deal of new news on the radio this morning, just a lot speculation on Bozzie’s new EU Deal. So far details are sparse, the full document has remained secure but someone is bound to leak it before long. However I did hear one reporter suggesting that Bozzie had the DUP, the ERG and most of the Conservative Independents on side. Meaning that he only needed a few Labour MP’s, who are scared of losing their seats to Leavers, to vote for it for it to pass in the HoC. Is Bozzie being clever here? If the HoC were to vote in favour of this then Bozzie would not have to write to the EU asking for an extension, even if the EU were to reject it.

Bozzie was very good in the HoC this morning, calm and measured he looked every inch a statesman. When the Tramp spoke in reply he was ranting and shouty and looked very rattled. The exact opposite of Bozzie.

Friday

It’s been a very quiet week and today is no exception. I guess the big thing is another court case starting in Scotland. The fat Scots woman, who was in the last one, is asking the court to enforce Bozzie asking for an Article 50 extension and if he fails to do so state what the remedy would be. Bozzie’s lawyers presented a document that said Bozzie would submit a letter as mandated. The Judges should rule on Monday. Then Wrory announced that he was resigning from the Tory Party and standing down at the next election. I thought he had already been thrown out! People on the radio started to speculate what he was going to do next, but I think they were all surprised when a little while later he announced that he was going to run as an independent for the Mayor of London. I think he might be better in the job than Sad Dick, but not much better.

I think Bozzie is playing games. He has just tweeted “New deal or no deal – but no delay.”

The Hungarian Foreign Minister, whose name has all sorts of letters in a funny order, visited London today and met with Rabb. He praised Bozzie for carrying out the people’s wishes. This set off the Twitters, they seemed to think that Hungary might be about to veto an Article 50 extension. We shall see.

Saturday

Up early for Breakfast and got stroked by the Little Otter. Looks like another quiet day looming. Firstly I hear that the E.U. is being it’s normal annoying self and postponing any more Brexit talks until Monday. They don’t really want us to leave do they. I’m sure all they want is our money. Next I hear that the Tory MP Daniel Kawczynski and colleagues have been taking legal advice on the legality of the Benn Act and has been told that they have got a good case. He says they are raising funds to fight it. The E.U. has sent a letter complaining that we are negotiating new trade deals without telling them and we are very naughty. Dom said a very rude word and wanted to send them a one word reply using the same word as the Limp Dumps have on their anti Brexit Tee Shirts. But Boris just said “tough – let them chuck us out of the E.U. if they are not happy”. It’s not just us British who have our internal divisions, it seems that the E.U. also has it splits. E.U. bosses want to expand the E.U. by adding Albania and North Macedonia but I heard today that Holland and France both are not happy with this idea.

Dom read out a Daily Telegraph Article about the German car industry, particularly the VW town of Wolfsburg. It seems that they are getting very worried that a No Deal Brexit could decimate the town. 25% of German cars are exported to the U.K. and they think that in the event of No Deal 100,000 job could be lost with 50,000 being lost in Wolfsburg alone!

One last bit of news before I go for supper and my cat basket. There is a new opinion poll in tomorrow Observer giving the Tories a 15% lead over Labour. The Limp Dumps are down 5% from last week. This made Dom and Bozzie very smiley.
 

© WorthingGooner 2019
 

The Goodnight Vienna Audio file