Keith’s negotiating prowess

Starmer
Simon Dawson / No10 Downing Street, OGL 3, via Wikimedia Commons

Keith’s expertise is certainly not in negotiating and especially not with the Donald. Despite shouting from the rooftops how wonderful our new trade deal with the US is (remember only possible because of Brexit) the reality is not quite what he has claimed

The following details are rather limited and this must be by design.

In terms of tariffs, remember the US introduced a 10% tariff as an incentive to negotiate, what has actually happened is …. Our tariffs were 5.1% but are now 1.8%, advantage to the septics. The US tariffs were 3.4% but are now 10%, another advantage to the septics.,

The US will now reap in $6 billion in tariffs and will increase their exports by $5 billion..We didn’t win there either did we.

Our auto exports now have a mere 10% tariff, down from the temporary 25% but there is a 100,000 quota. If by any stroke of luck we sell them more than 100,000 cars, the excess will be tariffed at 27.5%. Whatever the tariffs I cannot see the yanks selling their cars here, too big , too thirsty and completely unsuited to our infrastructure. Maybe a slight advantage to us. Recently we have been selling around 100,000 cars a year to the US. Looks like we won’t be able to increase that by much.

The US now has unprecedented access to the UK market for Ethanol, beef, cereals, fruits, vegetables,  animal feed, tobacco, soft drinks, shellfish, textiles, chemicals, machinery and much more.

 We no longer have pay any tariffs on steel and aluminium, however we don’t actually make any, or at least not much, of that stuff any more. If we ever resume steel production at Scunthorpe, it will be so expensive as to be impossible to sell to anyone, even ourselves thanks to Ed Militwat’s net zero nonsense.

There is a $10 billion deal for Boeing in exchange for Rolls Royce engines but they will not have to buy engines from Rolls Royce ! I’m sure the US is quite capable of making their own engines for Boeing. Not sure what to make of this, Boeing are still in deep doo doo.

We will accept 13,000 tons of US beef. Our farmers are already struggling because we already import Argentinian and Australian beef. Our beef farmers will not be amused.

Customs procedure for handling US imports have been streamlined, no Frog style delays then, and there will be preferential treatment for UK aerospace components should we be fortunate enough to sell them any.

The film industry is stuck with the 100% tariffs, there is no mention of this but was the Donald shooting from the hip ?

There have also been no changes to the digital services tax.

Our very own Mandelscum was standing next to the Donald as he announced this deal, maybe the dodgy so and so will have young boys tariff free ?

Kemi Khazi, in a rare moment of clarity, has denounced the deal. Keith on the other hand has been shouting its virtues at the JLR factory. It is an amazing deal says Keith, for once he is not wrong but not in a good way.

Ed Davey is calling for a vote in Parliament to approve this deal and calls on the government to provide more details. That looks to be a very slippery slope, pace Jeremy Clarkson.

Keith claims that negotiations are ongoing and there is more to come. The Donald must be laughing his socks off with what he has gotten already, any further negotiations will only be a repeat of the capitulation we have just seen.

I wonder who our negotiators were, they don’t seem to have wrung much out of the Americans. Perhaps they should read the art of the deal. I just cannot imagine any other country folding so easily, no wonder our deal was the first to be agreed. At least we won’t have lots of them working here and paying no National Insurance, or will we.

Stand by for further revelations. It must be odds on that Keith has begged President Trump to keep quiet on all the details so he can claim a massive success. The Donald puts the US first, Keith puts his own survival first.

As a final point it is rumoured that Nigel Farage has enlisted the help of King Big Ears of the Hostage Fingers to try and stymy the trade deal with India. In its own way it is as big a capitulation as the US one. I have no idea if this is true or not but it does not sound unreasonable though Charlie Boy’s instincts tend towards treason.

As a final word it looks like the squeaker, Lindsay Hoyle, is less than amused that there was no statement to Parliament, it was all done via YouTube. In reality he is bloody furious, Parliament is getting more and more sidelined to the extent that is it even worth having a House of Commons at all. This is not the first time this has happened and it will not be the last while Ministers have one eye on the PR and the other closed.
 

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