Larry’s Diary, Week Two Hundred And Sixty

Monday

Good morning and hello from a happy Downing Street because Legohead is missing again. He has gone off to Brazil for the G20 meeting and said he is going to meet the Chinese leader Xi Jinping who no doubt will be thinking who is this ‘shirry iriot’? I have been listening outside a few doors recently and the atmosphere among the hierarchy here is poisonous. What with the rumours about Southport (I’m not saying any more as I don’t want to be returned to that cage in Battersea), Robber Reeves changing her CV on Linkedin, the Tottenham Turnip worried he is getting the tin take over his Trump tweet and the corridors being awash with lefty tears it’s been great fun.

More news from the big airshow in China where they have been showing off the latest version of their H-6 medium-range bomber. This version, the H-6K, comes with a new added extra, a big ‘U’ lock through the fuselage door lock. I hear stories that this is not just to stop spies taking a peep inside at the airshow but are a fixture on in-service models. Supposedly there is only one key, and the captain of the aircraft holds it. This makes maintenance very difficult because it can only done when he is present. Apparently, the lock installed on the fuselage door is so poor quality it wasn’t stopping anyone.

A judge in Scotland has ruled that a convicted paedophile who came from the Congo cannot be extradited because of his rights to a family life. The only problem, and it is a big one, is that one of the children he assaulted was his own stepdaughter, and two others were members of the more distant family. So, he is now free to do the same thing all over again. Madness, pure madness.

I hear that a Russian ballet dancer who is known for being critical of PooTin has fallen out of a 5th-floor window and been killed. It amazes me how many people fall out of high-level windows in Russia and die. It doesn’t seem to happen so regularly in the rest of the world. The last time I heard of it happening in the U.K. it was a toddler who fell to their death from a council flat where the parents had been begging the council to repair the windows of their flat for months. It sounds like Russia needs to start looking at the windows in it high-rise buildings.

The heir to the Courage brewing business, Edward Courage, is suing UPS for damaging the engine of his rare £40,000 Derby Bentley that he sent for minor repairs. The Rolls-Royce engine was shipped in a special Rolls-Royce crate designed for the job. However, it went missing. In the meantime, Mr Courage was in hospital in Switzerland having broken 22 bones in a helicopter crash. When well enough, he started chasing UPS who said they had ‘lost’ the crate. But it was eventually found in Germany where it had been sent ‘for disposal’. It was eventually returned badly damaged in the same crate it was shipped in. Courage thinks the crate was dropped but UPS say the packaging was inadequate (despite using it to return the engine). UPS sent £600 in compensation, but it is so badly damaged it is expected to cost £10,000 to repair. Hence the court case.

Do you remember The Three Mile Island nuclear power station accident back in 1979 when Unit Two of the station in the middle of the Susquehanna River had a partial meltdown? Unit One was undamaged and continued generating power for several years until it was shut down by the then owners. It is now owned by Constellation Energy who have just signed a contract with Microsoft who will buy all its output for 20 years. Constellation are now spending $1.5 billion to get the reactor back working by 2026. I hear that Three Mile Island still has rather a bad name in the US and it is to be renamed the Crane Clean Energy Center. It’s like us renaming Windscale as Sellafield.

I told you last week that Boeing had finally settled its dispute with the machinist union with a 37% wage increase and people were starting to go back to work. However, a huge wage increase like that has implications and Boeing has started sending out lay notices to workers. I hear they will be trimming the company very hard and sacking around 17,000 employees. That is around about 10% of their total employees. Boeing says it is necessary to get rid of these people to make the company profitable. I wonder if it will work and enable Boeing to turn a profit. To do so they need to produce a lot more than the 34 a month they are currently allowed to.

Tuesday

Good morning everyone, well it’s snowing a bit in Westminster this morning but not settling, not something that happens very often because it is warmer because of the heat from all the buildings. I wonder what effect it’s going to have on the farmers’ demo in London today. I really hope they turn up en masse in their great big tractors and block up the roads.

A bit of news from Scottishland about Stephen Flynn the Westminster leader of the SNP. It seems that the MP for Aberdeen South has decided he wants to also be the MSP for Aberdeen South and North Kincardine at the 2026 Holyrood election. Very generously he says that if he is elected to both parliaments he will only take one salary. The problem is that at the moment the SNP has no policy on one person holding two positions. Isn’t it about time that they did!

I read that the U.K. is developing a new small cruise missile, called Spear, for use by its F-35B jets. The turbojet-powered cruise missile is being developed by MBNA Systems and was tested for the first time at the weekend when it was fired from a BAE Typhoon and hit its target 100 km away. It wasn’t equipped with a warhead for the test, instead carrying a camera to prove it made a direct hit. The missile was able to autonomously navigate to the target after a high-altitude and high-speed release, before switching to an internal radar mapping system and finding its target. I hear that the missile can be used against hard points, ships, tanks and many other targets. Apparently, an F-35B will be able to carry four and will be operated by both RAF and Royal Navy aircraft.

Germany have confirmed the rumour that first appeared in the press a week or so ago that they are going to supply Ukraine with 4,000 loitering munitions. The first batch of several hundred HX-2 Karma drones will be delivered next month. The drones can be used individually or in swarms and are said to be immune to Russia’s current Electronic Counter Measures. We shall see.

It seems that Brazil is attempting to set up an aircraft barter with India. India is looking for a new military transport aircraft and Brazil has bid its Embraer C390M medium transport aircraft. But Brazil is looking to update the fighter aircraft in their airforce and says that if India selects the C390M it will select the Indian-made Tejas Mk1A light attack multi-role attack aircraft. Brazil sees the Tsjas as a modern replacement for its fleet of 57 Northrop F5 Tiger II aircraft.

Do you fancy a bit of a different dining experience? Well, you could try eating in a restored 1906 Pullman car that used to run on the London to Brighton line as part of the Brighton Belle. The carriage is called ‘Princess Ena’ and is located in Petworth, at the old Railway Station which also has four old Pullman carriages that have been converted into bedrooms for a bed and breakfast business. Mind you the food in Princess Ena is not exactly cheap as a five-course meal costs £65 per person (£70 if you want Beef Wellington). I think I would like to visit.

Have you ever noticed that Bourbon biscuits have two rows of five little holes in them and wondered why? Well, I can tell you. In the early days of Bourbons, they didn’t have holes and when the biscuit dough was baked a high number of biscuits broke. The problem was investigated, and it was discovered that the moist biscuit dough was creating steam as it cooked and it was the escaping steam that broke the biscuits. Some clever man invented a machine that punched the 10 little holes in the top of the biscuit and let the steam escape. And it has been like that to this day.

Wednesday

Hi folks, it’s very cold and frosty this morning. So, I was very quick on my trip down the garden. Well, the inflation rate is going back up, it was 2.3% last month mainly due to the price of energy going up again. I hear that the energy price cap is to go up again at the next quarterly review later this week. We all know what that means, more inflation. Conveniently, Legohead won’t be back from the G20 for PMQs, so it will be the Ginger Growler taking the questions this lunchtime. There is lots to go at today, it should be fun.

So, there are splits developing in the ranks of the Liebore party. Up in Scottishland the leader of Scottishland Liebore, Anus Sarwar has announced that if Liebore is elected to power at the next Holyrood election they will reinstate the Winter Full Allowance for all pensioners. I wonder how many Scot’s pensioners will be fooled into voting for them, surely they are too savvy for that.

You might have noticed that China’s state-owned plane maker, the Commercial Aircraft Corporation of China, better known as Comac, has renamed its AR21 regional jet as the C909 and wondered why. Well, I can tell you it is because they think the name will be more acceptable in the West and attract exports. A single letter and three numbers is the way both Airbus and Boeing annotate their aircraft types like the A320 and the B737. Do the Chinese seriously think that the big Western airlines will be lured into buying cheap Chinese tat by a simple change of name?

The bulk carrier Ruby is back in port in Great Yarmouth this morning and it is unloading its cargo of 20,000 tonnes of potentially explosive ammonium nitrate and transferring it to the Zimrida, another bulk carrier in an adjacent berth. The story of the Ruby is interesting, the 37,000-dwt bulk carrier took on its cargo in the Russian port of Kandalaksha to take it to the Canary Islands. However, it ran into a big storm off the coast of Norway, ran aground, and damaged its propeller, rudder and hull. It needed to get repairs urgently but because of its cargo most ports refused it access. It is carrying seven times the amount of ammonium nitrate that exploded in Beirut destroying the port and killing 200 people. It seems that following repairs, the Coast Guard ordered the ship to leave port over the weekend and to dump all the 300 tonnes of cargo that had been damaged overboard before it was allowed back to do the transfer. Apparently, the Ruby sailed round and round in circles, 20 miles out, while it complied.

One of the ‘positive’ things coming out of COP 29 in Baku, according to the government, is that the U.K. and the USA have signed an agreement on the development of civil nuclear power. The idea is we will pool nuclear research. The U.K. is going to lead and up to 21 other countries are joining in, but Russia will not be allowed to join. Apparently, Red Ed Millipede is very enthusiastic so that means this cat is sceptical.

I hear that Northrop Grumman has delivered the first of new AGM 88 family of missiles to the US forces. The AGM 88 Harm is a family of anti-radiation missiles designed to take out air defences using radar equipment. The latest version is the AGM 88G and just what can it do? Rumours say it is much improved on previous versions with better Electronic Counter Measures, a bigger warhead and it is said to be hypersonic. I wonder how long it will be before it appears in Ukraine?

A bit of good news from your cat reporter for once. A narrowboat stolen from Wilmcote, near Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire has been recovered thanks to Facebook users. The exact date of the theft was not immediately clear, and the police were worried that the black and red painted boat could have travelled a long way around the canal network by the time they were alerted, so they put out a post on Faceache. In a very short time reports were coming in and it was tracked to Gloucester. Unfortunately, no one was on board when the police arrived. But the boat had been painted white to try to disguise it.

Thursday

Hello my friends, and for once there is a little bit of sun in London, but gosh is it still cold. I see that ex-deputy PM John Prescott has died at the age of 86. Lord Prescott had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for a long time which must have been hard for his family. My scribe’s brother worked with him on Cunard and said he was a ‘Bolshy bugger’ even before he got into parliament.

I have been looking at pictures taken on board the Royal Caribbean Cruises ‘Explorer of the Seas’ and my God what a mess. The ship was sailing off Tenerife heading for the US when it was hit by an 86-mph gust of wind. The ship rolled steeply, and this caused all sorts of things to fall off shelves, bottles and glass were smashed in bars, perfume fell off shelves in shops, you name it, it landed on the deck including numerous passengers. If that happened in passenger areas I hate to think what happened in the crew areas particularly the kitchens. Ironically at the time of the incident there was a Celine Dion tribute show going on with the tribute act performing “My Heart Will Go On,” from Titanic. Passengers were all asked to return to their cabins so that cabin stewards could do a head count to check if anybody had been lost overboard. Fortunately, this had not happened and only one passenger was seriously injured and had to be taken into the Canaries for hospital treatment.

Stellantis, the owners of Vauxhall Motors, is reported to have told the government that unless they change the rules about EV production they will pull out of vehicle production in the U.K. The government wants manufacturers to sell 22% of their cars as EVs this year and most manufacturers recognise that this is totally impossible. Despite this, Transport Secretary Louise Haigh has insisted that the ‘mandate will not be weakened’. Well, if that is the case, a lot of people will be driving second-hand instead of overpriced EVs.

I have been reading an Ernst & Young study that reveals just how much money Arsenal FC are worth to the British economy. I was astounded to see that E&Y said that Arsenal was worth £616 million to the UK economy during the 2022/23 season. £425m was contributed to the club’s home borough of Islington. Arsenal supported more than 4,400 jobs in the UK and generated £228m in UK tax revenue. Now this is just one of 20 Premier League clubs. OK, not all of them make as much of a contribution to the country but there are several that make more money than Arsenal. Manchester United, Tottenham and West Ham have larger stadiums and Arsenal are only number six in the Premier League annual revenue league. No wonder a city or town love having a club in the Premier League, it is worth a lot of money to them.

While on the subject of Arsenal, it seems that they are investigating options for increasing the capacity of their 18-year-old Emirates Stadium. They are believed to be looking at up to 20,000 additional seats taking the capacity from just over 60,000 to 80,000 adding a third to their annual revenue or another £200 million a year. The problems are that such a big increase in capacity would mean moving out while the work was done and that would probably mean negotiating to use Wembley for a season. Something Arsenal have done before with mixed results and that it could be expected to cost in the region of £300 million about what the stadium cost when it was built!

The Army has just placed an order for 10,000 advanced rifle sights with Qioptiq, based in St Asaph, Denbighshire. The order is for the cutting-edge TALON Fused Weapon Sight. It is a combined optical and thermal sight and allows a soldier with one on a standard SA80 rifle to see a target clearly in pitch dark a kilometre away. The Army has been field-testing the sight and it has obviously passed with flying colours.

Following Legohead’s meeting with India’s prime minister Narendra Modi at the G20 summit in Brazil it looks like we are going to be resuming talks on a free trade agreement in the New Year. The government took over the previous government’s talks with South Korea, Switzerland and the Gulf Cooperation Council when they took power back in July. Talks are due to start with the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP) in mid-December. I predict that Legohead will soon be boasting about all these agreements, something that could never happen if we were in the EU.

Friday

If anything, it’s even colder this morning, the forecast says it is going to be a sunny morning for a change but not so warm. Tomorrow, I hear that parts of the U.K. are going to be hit by storm Bert, probably not down here in London where it is expected to be very wet. I understand that it was the turn of the Irish weather service that named the storm Bert. If they want to be taken seriously I would suggest they should perhaps call the storm Bertram.

Yesterday CalMac finally took delivery of its new build ferry, MV Glen Sannox, but it is going to still be a while before it goes into service. It was contracted to be delivered in 2018 for £95 million. It has finally been delivered in 2024 (just) and has cost over £400 million to build. Of course, both the shipbuilders, Ferguson Shipbuilders, and the purchasers Caledonian MacBrayne are nationalised Scottishland companies so that it doesn’t matter how much it costs or how long it takes.

Up in Lancashire, Blackburn Private Hire has bought two second-hand electric buses to run a service between Highercroft and Blackburn town centre. However, they have a bit of a problem, the batteries regularly go flat by mid-afternoon and there is nowhere to recharge them on the route. So, the buses have to go back to the garage to be replaced and have to be replaced with old fashioned diesel buses. I don’t know how much the buses cost second-hand, but I hear the Chinese BYD buses cost £300,000 each new. Elsewhere in Lancashire, I hear that Preston has 10 electric buses on order and Blackpool say they are looking at replacing its fleet of 115 buses with EVs. I hope there are sufficient chargers in Preston and Blackpool to keep the services running.

A Barclays customer wanted to pay in a rather large cheque at his local branch but found it was closed for three weeks for building work. Not wanting to wait for it to reopen or to travel many miles to the nearest branch, he tried to pay it in using the Barclays app on his mobile phone but it wouldn’t accept it so he phoned the help line. Only to be told that the app for private customers had a maximum of £10,000 and four cheques a week. I understand it is different for business customers. Subsequently, the man said this was useless and was told he could pay the cheque into a Post Office, but they have £3,000 limit! It seems that Barclays are doing their best to kill cheques. I wonder if they will refuse my cheque if I win the jackpot on the lottery?

It seems that Barcelona FC have decided to postpone moving back into their Camp Nou stadium despite it being ready. The remodelled stadium has a 105,000 capacity so it is no surprise that Barcelona is itching the return to their own stadium, it is worth an awful lot of money to them. While the work has been going on they have been playing at Barcelona’s Olympic Stadium which has a capacity of only 54,300. So why have Barcelona FC put off the move until after Christmas? It seems that UEFA have a rule in the Champions League that forbids a club from changing its home ground during a ‘stage’ of the competition. At the moment Barcelona are involved in the league round of the Champions League. If they progress to the ‘knock out’ round, that starts in January and is considered a different ‘stage’, so Barcelona can play there in that round. It’s all a little bit silly.

I hear that the greenies are not happy about COP 29, as it has been nearly a total failure with hardly any major players turning up. But it hasn’t stopped mad Red Ed Millipede reviving the idea of putting a tax on gas boilers because people haven’t been buying heat pumps at the rate required to reach Net Zero. The estimate is that we need to install 800,000 of the useless things every year, but the last year we have numbers for, 2023, only 118,000 were installed. So Red Ed’s answer is to slap a £120 tax on new central heating gas boilers. Well, if I needed a new gas boiler, I’d simply pay the tax, it’s still a lot cheaper to buy and far cheaper to run than a heat pump.

I recently told you about the fire suppression sprinklers going off on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship triggered by special effect smoke at a show. Now I read that a similar event occurred last weekend on Royal Caribbean’s Harmony of the Seas. This time it seems that the smoke that set off the sprinklers came from Sorrento’s Pizza where someone’s pizza was a little burnt! The type of sprinklers used on board ships produce a water fog from high-pressure water rather than the drench system normally used in buildings. This is because water is heavy and could destabilise the ship, hence a much more expensive system that is as effective but uses much less water.

Saturdays

Good Morning everyone its dry at the moment, but heavy rain is due in London. I see the COP 29 is dragging on because the small nations want a ridiculous amount of money from the developed nations. I suspect we will end up promising some ludicrous amount we can’t afford.

Yesterday, the International Criminal Court issued arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, ex-defence minister Yoav Gallant and Hamas commander, Mohammed Deif for war crimes. I wonder how the ICC chief prosecutor ever managed to get the court to issue a warrant against a dead man as both Israel and Hamas say Deif is dead. The evidence of war crimes presented to the court by the chief prosecutor was rather old and had already been shown to be wrong several subsequent reports. But in front of the court, he refused to submit this evidence to the court. Why? Could it be a distraction effort as the prosecutor is under investigation for being a serial kiddie fiddler.

Despite Legohead promising several times before the general election that everyone would have their energy bills reduced by £300 a year and that the Energy Price Cap would be frozen, the price cap went up again yesterday. This is for the second time it has been increased since the election. This is just the latest thing that Liebore have lied to us about and either gone against in its manifesto, like the National Insurance hike, or done without telling us about beforehand, like cutting the Winter Fuel Allowance. What an absolute shower of sh*t this government is.

For you Formula One fans, I hear that F1 is back in talks with a new team to join the grid in 2026. The Andretti Global team is backed by US motor manufacturer General Motors and was started by Michael Andretti of the famous motor racing family. But a previous application by the team was rejected by F1. However, Michael Andretti has now left the team, and this is reported to be what has led to the reopening of the application, the team would probably be known as General Motors. The addition of an 11th team on the grid is not widely supported by the existing 10 teams as it would mean the pot of prize money being slightly reduced.

I told you a while ago that Grand Union Trains had applied for an open access service between Carmarthen and London. Today I hear that the application has been granted and it looks like Great Western Railways will soon have competition on the line to Wales. The idea is that the trains will serve Llanelli, Gowerton, Cardiff Central, Newport, Severn Tunnel and Bristol Parkway. They will also be allowed to stop at Cardiff Parkway if the proposed station is opened. I hope the new service is as successful as the other open access services already in operation which all seem to be thriving and offering competitive fares.

Now for this week’s cat story. During Covid a couple bought a thatched cottage in the village of Milton Abbas, Dorset. The cottage was built in 1773 and in a bit of a state, so it needed a lot of work, which took ages for the council to agree. But builders have now started work after three years and have found a mummified cat in the thatch. Apparently, when the cottage was built it was considered lucky and a mummified cat in the thatched roof was believed to ward off evil spirits. The couple have told the builders to put the cat back in the thatch when work is finished.

It seems that PooTin has sent a whole load of zoo animals to North Korea as a thank you for their assistance with the war in Ukraine. The animals sent are an African lion, two brown bears, 45 pheasants, two domestic yaks, 40 mandarin ducks and five white cockatoos. The animals were sent from Moscow Zoo and labelled ‘a gift from Vladimir Putin to the Korean people.’ Somehow I doubt they will land up in Pyongyang Central Zoo, much more likely they will land up on the dinner table of ‘Little Rocket Man’.

I’m done for another week and it’s pouring with rain out there, it’s not very nice. It’s also really windy. So I’m not going out going to snooze. It will be the Thatcher Room again, it was a good place not to be disturbed. The forecast for tomorrow is dry, and not half as chilly. Still, I think snoozing on the windowsill is over until the spring. Chat to you next week.
 

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