Larry’s Diary, Week Two Hundred And Sixty-One

Monday

Good morning all, it was raining when I first woke up, but now I have had my Felix the sun is out and the sky is blue. Legohead had a ‘summit meeting’ in No. 10 this morning to discuss another one of his brainwaves. He wants to make spiking drinks in clubs, pubs and bars illegal. I have news for him, it already is an offence and has been for about 150 years.

Over the weekend the online petition for a fresh general election has really taken off. At the time I am writing this it has gone over 2,000,000, more people than voted for the Greens at the last general election. But no mention on the BBC or from the government. I think the government would like this to go away and think that by ignoring it, it will. Well, I think they are wrong, the numbers signing the petition don’t seem to have slowed down and are about 1,000 a minute at the moment and will be over 3,000,000 soon.

I hear that Tesco shoppers have taken to social media complaining about shortages in-store and on the home delivery and app. I don’t think customers have any idea how Tesco deliveries work, they have people in store who pick the delivery off the shelves, so if it is missing in the shop, it will be missing on the app. The main moan at the moment seems to be about tomato purée and I understand it is not just Tesco who are having problems getting it in stock. Apparently, most of the tomato purée on sale here comes from Italy and Spain and they have had a poor tomato harvest this year.

A report says that the planet Earth has recently increased its tilt by 31.5”. It is being blamed on people pumping up billions of litres of groundwater and as you all know water always finds its own level hence the increased tilt. Apparently, the increased tilt has caused the sea to rise in some parts and fall in others, something the greenies say is caused by climate change. The position of the magnetic North Pole has always wandered around as the world’s axis changes, I assume it will now be moving further and faster.

What is going on at NCL cruises where they have cancelled 38 cruises operated by three different ships between now and April next year? Trips on Norwegian Jewel have been cancelled until 5 April 2026, when it will continue its planned itineraries and reposition to Philadelphia to sail to Bermuda and Charleston. Norwegian Star has been cancelled until the 14 April 2026. Norwegian Jade cruises have been cancelled until 16 February 2026. Jade was supposed to be sailing out of Miami to the Caribbean, but will now be operating out of San Diego on seven-night round trips to Mexico. NCL has given no reason for the changes, but passengers will get a full refund and 10% future cruise credit. I think I would be more than upset if I had been due to sail on one of those NCL ships.

If we follow the whole green thing through to its ultimate conclusion and completely decarbonise the world so that we have no more oil, we are going to live in a world that will be impossible to survive on unless we are willing to live at subsistence levels. There will be no more steel, aluminium, concrete, bricks, organic fertiliser, plastic or glass. I really don’t know how we will get around as the only cars will be EVs and no one will be able to afford one or to recharge its batteries if they bought it before ‘net zero’ arrived. So, without manmade fibres (made from oil) you will all have to wear wool, but the looms will have to be electric, powered by wind, solar or maybe water like hundreds of years ago. And don’t talk to me about housing, we will have to revert to mud huts. I’m glad I won’t be around in 2035.

Back in 1991, George HW Bush decided to withdraw all sea-launched nuclear cruise missiles. This was the end for both submarine and ship-launched tactical nuclear missiles. Until then the US had a nuclear-tipped version of the Tomahawk cruise missile. Now they could be coming back, as the US Navy has put out a request for information for a nuclear-armed sea-launched cruise missile (SLCM-N). The idea is to have a missile capable of being launched from the vertical launch tubes of Virginia Class submarines and travelling up to 1,500 miles giving the US a tactical nuclear weapon that is neither land or air-launched. Our Vanguard Class submarines, and the coming Dreadnaught Class, have the same missile launch systems as US Virginia Class submarines.

Tuesday

Good morning everyone, it’s been raining again overnight but it’s not so bad at all this morning with a bit of sunshine and definitely not as cold as last week. Bad flooding down in South Wales but I see Legohead can’t be bothered to go and visit. Why? He likes a trip away and is hardly ever here, but perhaps Wales is not far enough to clock up the air miles and hotel points.

Tesco, the U.K.’s biggest supermarket has just signed a new contract with Direct Rail Services (DRS) to keep running its container trains for another 42 months. DRs have been moving about 12,000 container loads a month, of mainly food, about the country. Much of of the services goes to and from the huge grocery distribution wearhouse at Daventry. Trains regularly bring imported goods from the docks at Tilbury and Teesside and then on to regional centres around the country saving thousands of lorry trips. DRS will now be running 11 regular services for Tesco.

Sometimes I think football goalkeepers are the most protected species on the planet. They only have to be touched by someone from the opposition team to be given a free kick. However, today I heard about the Totteringham goalkeeper who apparently broke his ankle in the first half of this weekend’s match at Manchester City and carried on playing until the end of the match. I don’t know whether he was in pain or not or just so stupid he didn’t realise he was injured. Anyway, Guglielmo Vicario has had an operation on his right ankle and will be out for a while.

In the world of professional football, it is a tradition to give the ball to a player who scores a hat trick. Over in Germany, Bayern Munich are moaning because Harry Kane has just scored his fourth hat trick of the season and is taking home so many balls it is becoming expensive. He started the season with the manager giving him the target of scoring 20 goals for the season and has passed that already. I wonder if he gets paid a goal-scoring bonus?

I hear that West Ham United might be available for sale, but the purchaser is going to have to have very deep pockets, as they won’t just have to buy the club. I hear that part of the deal is putting right all the problems with the London Stadium where they play home matches. There are said to be numerous problems ranging from a leaky roof to rotten toilets. The stadium was built for the London Olympics and seems to have had some things done on the cheap when it was converted into a football stadium with West Ham as its tenant. I hear putting the stadium right could cost the new owner £600 million.

I understand that next summer, the Glastonbury legends slot will be filled by Rod Stewart who will be 80 years old at the time. There is no doubt he is one of Britain’s biggest record sellers and he has performed in the legends spot on the Pyramid Stage before, over 20 years ago. But you must wonder how many of the audience will know who he is. Do they know his hits like ‘Maggie May’ and ‘Sailing’? I could easily be wrong, and he goes down a storm, in fact I hope he does as he says next year he is giving up big tours.

On the day when the Supreme Court is hearing the case brought in Scottishland to try and finally decide what a woman is, a row has broken out about British Transport Police saying that transwomen should be allowed to strip search women. It appears that BTP decided that it would help them recruit more transwomen to the force. Can you image the advertisement? “If you are trans join BTP and you can strip search women.” I wonder how many men will put on a frock and apply.

Wednesday

Hi folks, it was raining earlier but has stopped now, but gosh is it grey outside. The only reason I’m going out today is to avoid the dreaded litter tray. It’s PMQs today and I can tell you Legohead is not looking forward to it. I have just seen the new tweet put out by the Kamel; it was nonsensical and I am convinced it was made after the consumption of several bottles of wine.

On Sunday, non-league side Lydney Town had their home fixture against Roman Glass St George postponed due to flooding caused by storm Bert. Several of the Lydney Town players still turned up expecting to see a very muddy pitch but were amazed to see the pitch was under about three feet of water. So the players decided not to miss out on a good thing, and all went swimming instead of playing with a football. I wonder if they brought on any subs?

So, Stellantis is to close their plant at Luton, where they produce Vauxhall electric vans, because they can’t sell enough electric vans to meet the 10% electric of the total vans the government says they have to sell this year. So, 1,100 people are to lose their jobs and the remaining van production is to be moved to Ellesmere Port. This is absolute madness and pure ideology on the part of Liebore, trying to force people to buy electric which they don’t want because they are hugely expensive and rubbish compared to petrol or diesel vehicles. Yesterday Robber Reeves said her budget was ‘a budget for jobs’, clearly absolute lies like her CV.

The BBC women’s footballer of the year appears to be a man. Zambia and Orlando Pride forward Barbra Banda has been announced the winner. This is the same ‘woman’ who refused a gender eligibility test and had to miss a major tournament, the African Nations Cup, because ‘her’ testosterone levels were way too high. She and four other Zambian ‘women’ withdrew when it became apparent that they had to take a sex test to compete. Have you seen a photo of her? I really can’t stop seeing a man.

The current rumour doing the rounds in No. 10 is that the government is about to drop a £100 million a year levy on the gambling industry. I hear that the announcement will be made this week maybe even later today. The word is the levy will be 1% of ‘gross gambling yield’ (profit?) and last year that is reported to have been £10.9 billion making the levy worth £109 million. That money is supposed to go to support research, education and treatment causes in the gambling industry, we shall see.

The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) has written to the government warning them that the Zero Emission Vehicle (ZEV) mandate will cost the industry billions of pounds this year and even more next year. They estimate that the 22% mandate for electric cars and 10% for vans will cost the British motor manufacturers in the region of £6 billion this year which is unsustainable. Will the government back down or will they kill the British motor industry?

In recent months, according to insurance data, the number of cars being stolen has been increasing. The same source says the most stolen brand of car is Ford with 17%. Somehow that doesn’t surprise me as I suspect that Ford is also one of the most popular car brands on British roads. The most common colour car to be stolen is black at 40% and cars between five and eight years old is the peak age for cars to be stolen with Birmingham clocking up the most car thefts. So, if you live in Birmingham, drive a five-year-old black Ford car you have got no chance that it will still be on your drive tomorrow.

Thursday

Hello my friends to a bright and sunny Downing Street. It looked lovely when I went out, but gosh was it cold and frosty. My poor little paws didn’t like it. So, the latest immigration numbers have dropped this morning for the year to June, so while the Tories were still in power. The good news is that they are down by 20% to only 728,000. Well, it’s a start, but it’s no wonder there is a shortage of homes, GPs, road space, seats on trains, you name it none of it is getting any better when we import the population of a small city every year.

London’s Groucho Club has suddenly closed following the suspension of its licence while the Metropolitan Police investigate ‘serious crimes’ at the club. The club is the watering hole of ‘B’ grade celebrities and the wannabes which costs £1,250 per year after a £500 joining fee. The rumours say the ‘serious crimes’ revolve around the open sale of and taking of drugs. The club was called the Groucho Club after Marx Brother, Groucho Marx, who famously said, “I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member.”

The Financial Times tells me that the Ukrainians have used the Storm Shadow cruise missile to hit a target in the Russian city of Mar’ino in Kursk Oblast. The report says an unnamed North Korean general was seriously injured and senior officers killed. However, it has been reported previously that North Korea sent General-Colonel Kim Chen Bok to Russia to oversee special purpose assault corps units deployed in Russia. This missile apparently hit a military HQ. Another media outlet, Global Defense Corp, previously claimed that the strike on Mar’ino might have resulted in significantly higher casualties than were being admitted. They say that up to 500 North Koreans were killed as was Russian Lieutenant-General Valery Solodchuk, but I have not seen this reported elsewhere.

Here’s the results of an interesting survey done on behalf of Cunard. The study by the Human Understanding Agency found that just five days at sea can improve memory by 29%, problem-solving by 125% and attention by 14%. In addition, relaxation levels also rose by 158% with stress dropping by 35%. This study was done by neuroscientist Dr. Jack Lewis. I suppose that a fortnight on a Cunard ship will be far better than just five days, so will cruises be available on the NHS as a cure for stress and memory loss?

Are the government about to water down the levy of £14,000 on every EV short of the 22% target this year because it is far too ambitious to reach? What is interesting is that the majority of sales are for businesses and they are still in receipt of a subsidy. The private individuals who bought or leased EVs, mainly did so when there were subsidies on buying them, avoiding tax, parking charges and congestion charges. Now those perks are either gone or going and private buyers are switching back to petrol and diesel. With the business subsidies being withdrawn, EV sales are set to become much lower while the government is increasing the sales target to 28% next year. Red Ed Millipede really has no idea.

I hear that despite people being hit for all sorts of increases and jobs being lost, you British still love us pets, especially at Christmas. The year Christmas sales of pet toys, treats and food are up by 964% at Waitrose Online. I suppose it could be that they have made a lot more items available online, but similar sales at John Lewis are up 98% on last Christmas. I wonder what I am going to get for Christmas from Legohead, (hint – I could do with a new scratching post). I must admit I was always remembered by the Tory PMs and they usually found me some nice slices of turkey and pigs in blankets for my Christmas dinner, mind you I preferred it with gravy, last year’s curry sauce wasn’t the best.

The story of the winner of three cycling medals for Australia at the Paris Olympics who has switched to the British team is interesting. He was born in Canterbury in Kent and his parents moved to Australia when he was 12 where he became a pick of Aus Cycling to go to the Paris Olympics. Apparently, he has become engaged to British cyclist Emma Finucane and on deciding to move to Britain has switched to the British cycling team much to the annoyance of Aus Cycling. Australia has been trying to get him banned for three years by the world cycling body UCI but have been told it is unenforceable.

Friday

It’s chilly again this morning but I bet it’s not as chilly as in the Haigh household. Louise Haigh, her of the brightly coloured dyed hair, has left her post as Transport Secretary this morning. She admitted she reported her work phone was stolen in a mugging when it wasn’t, and a few months later it reappeared on the network. Her then-employer, Aviva, investigated and found that losing or having her work phone stolen was a regular event and the police kept an eye open for the phone. She then got a conviction for fraud, but Legohead still appointed her to the Cabinet. This needs an investigation into why Legohead employed a convicted fraudster.

Just how unpopular is the government? Well, I suspect the answer is very, and incidents like the Louise Haigh one are only going to make things worse. But the huge number of people signing the ‘general election’ petition is just one indicator. The other, perhaps more interesting indicator is that in three of the last four opinion polls, the hated Tories were ahead of Liebore by two or three percent. More interestingly, Reform is now over 20%. Plugging the opinion poll numbers into Electoral Calculus gives an interesting result with the Liebore lot still being the largest party, but only just, so they would have first go at forming a coalition government.

A big announcement from the Reform Party this morning. Ex-Tory MP and minister Dame Andrea Jenkyns has quit them and has joined Reform and will run as the Reform candidate for the newly created post of Mayor of Greater Lincolnshire. It will be an amazing coup if she manages to win the post. But it is quite possible as the popularity of Reform is increasing while that of both Liebore and the Tories is falling. Membership of Reform is said to have passed 100,000 which some tell me is more than the membership of the Tories.

I told you a while ago that the consortium of U.K., Japan and Italy who are developing the 6th generation multirole fighter, the Global Combat Air Programme (GCAP) were looking for more partners. Today I hear that the Italian Foreign Minister, Antonio Tajani, says Saudi Arabia is likely to be joining the project very soon. This would be a winner for both the current partner nations and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are an oil-rich nation, and their money will be welcome to what will be a very expensive project, but the Saudis, even as a junior partner will get advanced aeronautical engineering knowledge and the chance to be one of the first nations to receive the advanced aircraft.

While on the subject of fighter aircraft, I hear that Turkey has had a change of heart over a project it battled hard with the US to be allowed to purchase. Turkey has something like 80 old F-16 fighters and negotiated a deal to buy 40 of the latest production version of the F-16 and upgrade packages for the jets it already has. I hear that Turkey is to continue with the new purchase but has cancelled the upgrade package. Instead, they are to do the upgrade domestically, a move which is said to be going to save them $17 billion.

I read that BAE has just held the ceremonial cutting of the first metal for HMS Sheffield in its Glasgow shipyard. It is destined to be the fifth of eight Type 26 anti-submarine frigates.

BAE say that the Type 26 frigates will be among the world’s most advanced warships, well I hope they are as we have so few ships on order. Together with the Type 31 being built at Rosyth, they are the future of the Royal Navy surface ships, I only hope the Type 32 is ordered soon.

I know my Scribe WG will be delighted with my last story of the day. Arsenal have agreed a new improved contract with 17-year-old Ethan Nwaneri, but because of FA rules, he is not able to sign it until he is 18 in March next year. The youngster has already made 10 first team appearances and has attracted much attention by scoring four goals, only one of which has been in the Premier League, but the vast majority of his time on the field has been in the League Cup and the FA Cup. But what I suspect is most satisfying for Arsenal supporters is that he has come through the Arsenal academy and is what supporters like to chant, “one of our own”. Oh, I hear he has a 14-year-old younger brother, Emerson, who is also at Arsenal’s academy and has just been called up for England under 15’s where he will play alongside another Arsenal 14-year-old called Max Dowman, who is supposed to be better than Ethan Nwaneri and has already been training with the Arsenal first team.

Saturday

Good Morning everyone, it is dry and not as cold. Have you noticed the Legohead is becoming a very Grey Legohead? Since becoming PM in July his hair has definitely changed colour, and he is looking old. I have seen it happen to previous PMs; the Rich Boy was one. Is the job of PM that stressful?

Transport for London this week introduced new single-deck electric buses on the 358 route from Crystal Palace to Orpington. The small buses look more like a tram and have a pantograph on the roof so that they can pick up a fast recharge at both ends of the route. It seems that the introduction of the 20 buses by Go-Ahead London has not been faultless. I hear that several have suffered flat batteries, and one was in collision with a car belonging to a Bromley Labour councillor’s wife.

Cruise ships get a major refit roughly every five years. The normal thing is to update all the soft furnishings and often carpets. Then the company looks at profit-making centres and often some of those that are not seen to offer a passenger benefit. Hence the disappearance of the likes of libraries, computer centres and cigar rooms and the appearance of more bars, speciality pay restaurants and escape rooms. But the latest trend is interesting and I’m not so sure it is based on the profit margin. The latest thing to go seems to be chapels, and with weddings and renewal of vows on board getting more and more popular, I am a bit surprised.

I was interested to read reports on numerous websites that Ukraine have found a way to interfere with the navigation system of the Iranian-supplied Shahad Kamikaze drone. Depending on which report you read, they are either spoofing the GPS signal or using electronic warfare to interfere with the internal navigation system. Apparently, they now have the power to redirect the drones and have been sending them back to Russia or to their ally, Belarus. If this is true, and not propaganda, I reckon the Israelis will be buying the technology.

A bit of a follow-on to the Louise Haigh story of yesterday. The mugging in which her phone was allegedly stolen occurred in Lewisham where she had previously been a special constable. Then because of her police ‘experience’ Jeremy Corbyn made her Shadow Policing Minister. I don’t know if that was because she had been a special constable or a convicted fraudster. Anyway, her career as Transport Secretary has gone off the rails and Legohead has pushed her under the bus.

A report by Wandsworth Council says that there are “no construction constraints” to extending London Underground’s Northern Line spur to Battersea Power Station on to Clapham Junction, Britain’s busiest railway station. Well, I suppose it would make sense for people to be able to change on to a Tube line giving them direct access to the West End and the City. But I see one constraint, the predicted £300 million cost (the two-station spur to Battersea cost £1.1 billion), which I sure will be an underestimate, even if skint TfL could come up with money.

I understand that Train Operating Companies are to cascade trains down to others, all caused by Great Northern taking on 30 Class 379 trains that have been sitting in sidings off lease for several years. The trains are fairly new and in good condition as they have not been used very much. This will allow them to cascade the trains they replace down to Southern. Southern are then going to cascade 13 Class 377 trains down to Southeastern, allowing them to replace some of the old Class 465 Networker units on routes to Maidstone East and Tunbridge Wells. Southern, who are gaining more trains than they are losing, will use them to increase rush hour services on some overcrowded routes.

I’m done for another week and although it’s dry out there it is not very nice. It’s a bit chilly out there so I’m going to snooze in one of the rooms that Legohead hardly uses, like the Thatcher Room. It’s not the same in there since he moved her portrait, but I like it. The forecast for tomorrow is sunny, dry, and chilly. I might be able to snooze on the windowsill then if I can get in the sun. Chat to you next week.
 

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