GB News Review

GB News 15th July 2021

Present:

Bex Deadman (Travel Expert)
Daryl, Darren and Vicky (Recovering Addicts)
Catherine Tramlines (Online Harm Expert)
Dr Alan Billings (Crime Commissioner)

Venue: DePiero and Halligan

In last week’s GB News Review your humble author likened a summer break from Question Time to having a Chinese Emporer’s responsibilities lifted from his shoulders or being a Cultural Revolution academic out in the countryside and gratefully away from dusty books and narrow-minded swots.

This week I am not so sure. How much litmus paper must we waste before realising Andrew Neil’s GB News organ is as flaccid as the rest of mainstream media? A low point, worse than a kicking from the Red Guards or Pi Yu’s twenty years in a greenhouse, being ex-BBC Gutto Harri taking the knee on GBN’s breakfast show as he, and the rest of the media bubble, continue to melt-down over the second most important thing that’s happened this week – England’s multiculti Euro footy fail.

As the French philosopher famously noted after a World Cup win by a team of tinged Les Bleus, “Now ze championship of fert-ball is over, may ze championship of raczizm begin.”

In terms of tackling wrong-thought by stopping anonymity online, it would be interesting to see who really writes the celebs and sports stars social media content. They do not do it themselves. “I’m on a journey with the three lions,” will sound even less convincing when, for statutory reasons, it’s signed off by A. Nike Staffer, somewhere in Utah.

***

Twelve noon’s DePerio and Halligan show got off to a bad start with no sign of DePerio or Halligan but with Boris Johnson droning on about levelling up in Coventry.

Having been enriched and represented in Parliament by the likes of Colleen Fletcher, Taiwo Owatemi and the awful Zarah Sultana, might the West Midlands city be more suited to a levelling down, Luftwaffe style?

When Boris had finished and the presenters appeared, Gloria was in a summery Jackson Pollock polka dot dress with bare arms leading to a blingy gold watch and ending at rip-your-hairy-back-to-bits nails.

Continuing with the national equality theme, La DePerio began by noting that life expectancy in Blackpool is ten years lower than in parts of the South East of England.

Is this a bad thing? Has she been there lately? The choice between the grave and Crap Pool might not be as clear cut as she thinks.

A GB News Review biography of Gloria De Peiro is available here, the key points being that Gloria puts the ‘G’ and the ‘L’ into glamour, the ‘glori’ into glorious and another two big G’s into 38GG.

Interestingly, Gloria’s lesser half, James Robinson, is a Guardian and Observer type and a one-time special advisor to Nonce Finder General Tom Watson. I wonder if La Gloria is the only one in the GBN noon double act married to a leftie media London type? *Taps nose*.

Halligan mentioned the Red Wall constituencies and seemed to suggest, wrongly, that Darlington is in the East Midlands. Closer to his home, he correctly told us that Amersham and Chesham is at end of the Metropolitan Line.

Gloria made an important point. There had been no policy in Boris’s speech, only rhetoric.

She went on to dream of sunny beaches and far away places while stumbling and stuttering over what was printed on the teleprompter, in foot-high letters, at the end of her nose. Eventually, she spat it out.

“Get your jabs, quick,” she said, taking a totally neutral stance on a contentious issue.

We then went live to “Heathrow”, where a GB News action reporter urged us to get jabbed and talked us through the myriad of Covid tests required for travel even after you have been jabbed.

He had spoken to travel expert Bex Deadman earlier. Everybody’s life had been put on hold, said Bex, while, helpfully, standing within view of the airport’s gatekeeper.

From the studio, Gloria unhelpfully asked a question including the phrase, “At Gatwick,” while the caption still said, “Heathrow”. I’ve only had one jab and I’m over 40, replied the action reporter, I’m not going anywhere. Gloria noted that it looked quiet, “at Heathrow.” The reporter said he was at Gatwick and it was, “Not as quiet as it looks.”

How can it be not as …? Never mind. Let’s have a look at the gatekeeper. Oddly it had four engines, wasn’t big and was in Emirates Airlines livery. Investigation revealed it to be a 45 ton, one-third scale, Airbus A380.

Why would anybody want to…..? Never mind that either, the important point is that it’s at Heathrow. The action reporter must have filmed an interview with Ms Deadman there, before heading to Gatwick for his own live segment.

Gloria and Liam’s next segment was about a possible sugar tax which will add 9p to the price of a Mars bar and £3 per kilo to the cost of processed foods.

“Will that stop people from eating it?” wondered Gloria.

And even if it did, Liam noted, the Government were talking down to “ordinary people”. Their “only joy in life” might be stuffing their faces with junk food, he added while talking down to them himself.

Liam James Halligan was born in London and educated privately at the £20,000 a year John Lyon School in Harrow, his father being a businessman in the construction industry. Liam holds both Irish and British passports.

After being head boy at John Lyon, and gaining A grades at A-level in Economics, Mathematics and English, Liam took a first in Economics at the University of Warwick before completing an MPhil at St Anthony’s, Oxford.

In his three years at Oxford, Mr Halligan was on the ISIS boat crew, Co-President of St Anthony’s College Ball Committee, Treasurer of Oxford University Africa Society and Section Editor of Woodstock Road Editorial.

Liam, nobody likes a smart arse.

After Oxford, the former Treasurer of Oxford University Africa Society did a Cook’s tour of think tank type economics research posts which drew him towards a career in journalism.

Mr Halligan has links with Russia. As a researcher at the LSE, he spent two years in Moscow during which time he wrote a column for The Moscow Times. Do Puffins know anyone else with links to Russia who wrote for the Moscow Times?

Yes, they do. Step forward and take a bow, a certain 25-year-old BBC News Wrong-Think Finder General, Miss Marianna Spring.

Upon returning to England, Liam Halligan tucked his knees under the cosy leftie table at Channel Four and has remained there for sixteen years while also writing columns and making appearances in other media.

As you might expect of a great economist, Liam has his own business, Bridge House Productions Limited, formerly known as Liam Halligan Limited.

Unfortunately, in its most recent submissions to Companies House, dated 31st March 2020, Bridge House Productions Limited has total assets, capital and reserves of only £114.

Not to worry, during the previous financial year they were still able to forward an interest-free loan of £5947 to company director, Mr L Halligan.

Equally generously, the company was able to make another interest-free loan of £5946 to the company’s other director and company secretary, Ms L Ward. Ms Lucy Miranda Ward (not her real name), in case you haven’t already guessed, is Mr Halligan’s wife.

In the interests of equality, Ms Ward was educated privately at the £38,000 per annum Cheadle Hulme School before graduating from Oxford University in Early and Middle English.

As with Gloria de Peio’s other half, Miss Ward is a Guardian type having worked for the anti-abolitionist slaver founded publication for ten years before being a freelancer there for a subsequent five.

For the last two years, she has been writing a non-fiction book about inoculation which is to be published soon. Her husband is already a published author, his most recent work being Home Truths: The UK s chronic housing shortage how it happened, why it matters and the way to solve it.

Liam’s hard work at public school, Oxbridge, think tank land, Moscow and Channel 4 has paid off handsomely with his great work a mere 28,581 places behind the Marquis de Sade’s benchmark publication 120 Days of Sodom in the Amazon best sellers list.

Which brings us to the most important thing that’s happened this week. Our dear friends from Brexit days, Le Monde, report that the original manuscript of 120 Days of Sodom has been sold for four and a half million ~~Francs~~ Euros!

My French isn’t great, but the article appears to suggest that the work was found rolled up inside a dark and foul-smelling secret cavity, that once held De Sade (no, don’t, behave yourselves), leftover from when the author was imprisoned in a French jail.

Smelling of fish and with a texture of cardboard, De Sade’s scroll has been bought by a well known and exceptionally generous collector, Mounsuir L’Etat, albeit it with other people’s money.

Le Monde concludes that the influence of the Marquis’ work has, “Left a deep mark on a number of amateurs” (il a profondément marqué de nombreux auteurs).

I bet it has.

After the weather, we *Michael Barrett voice* went “Nationwide” to GB News’s Yorkshire and Humberside correspondent, Kevin Larkin.

Kevin introduced us to Daryl, Darren and Vicky, clients of the Kickback Recovery charity which has just been awarded £2500 in National Lottery funding.

Daryl had started drinking when he was young and had gone from social drinking, to anti-social drinking, to out of control drinking, to trouble with the police, to ‘isolated’ drinking, by his thirties.

He had followed Kickback Recovery on Facebook for a while before contacting one of their volunteers who, after a face to face meeting, had invited Daryl to a group therapy session that had turned his life around.

Vicky started using substances at about eleven or twelve years of age to “change her feelings”. That led to 25 years of use, without realising it was an addiction. Cocaine and heroin meant she’d left her “dignity at the door”, was spending a fortune and was in danger.

Darren had been in trouble for years, stayed clean for years but then relapsed. Becoming isolated, he booked into rehab as he was at risk of losing everything.

Salutary tales, well worthy of a media profile.

The South Yorkshire Crime Commissioner spoke, pointing out that jail wouldn’t break the addiction cycle as jails are awash with drugs. When they come out of jail, they need the likes of Kickback Recovery.

***

At which point, my soon to be taxed to death Just Eats McFlurry arrived. People who understand these things had ordered me one. It had suffered in transit. I declined an offer to put it in the freezer, as I can’t get my teeth into them when they’re cold.

A topical point. They’d sent the wrong one, but there was so much sugar and salt in it, I couldn’t taste the unwanted peppermint.

***

The next segment returned to Boris’s ‘levelling up’ of the provinces.

“Which Includes the important issue of county lines,” said Liam, naively believing what was appearing on his autocue.

“We’ve just done that,” Gloria reminded him, adding it was now time to obsess about online racial abuse. Having turned London into Durban, the Metropolitan elite are now panicking about London turning into Durban.

Catherine Tramlines, a harmful content expert, spoke via Zoom. She mentioned an online safety law that should offer “user redress” and hold offenders to account. It should also do something about the tech companies, as courts currently take between six and twelve months to retrieve suspect account holder’s details from them.

Liam noted that the tech companies have it a bit too cosy.

Miss Tramline replied that online abuse was a societal problem and that tech companies address technological issues rather than social ones.

Liam replied that it wasn’t a matter of social attitudes but of lawbreaking and those tech companies are obliged to help.

Catherine countered that fake accounts and fake IPs make offenders hard to find.

Gloria wondered if Facebook and Instagram do enough?

Catherine suggested pre-moderation, but social media makes its money from marketing and advertising not from enforcing public policy or safety. She also suggested more research, presumably to keep herself in a job.

Time for the weather again. It looked glorious over Blackpool, the town being levelled up by sunshine and blue skies with the Blackpoolians allowed a day of being miserable in comfort.

Incidentally, regarding Home Truths: The UK’s chronic housing shortage how it happened, why it matters and the way to solve it. Your reviewer was pleasantly surprised to see, in the chapter headings, Mr Halligan addressing immigration, albeit briefly.

Further investigation disclosed that in Chapter 5 Liam writes.

The large number of new arrivals in recent years has certainly added to the pressure on the UK’s housing supply problem. But immigration, while impacting poorer local communities disproportionately, has been of overwhelming benefit to the UK economy, in terms of both fiscal balances and broader growth.

Oh.

Puffins may be surprised to hear, despite the presence in our country of, amongst others, 6 million EU citizens and over 4 million people of ‘South Asian Heritage’, the great economist concludes,