Larry’s Diary Week Five

Larry, the early days – Image by Sheila Shafer-Roberson from Pixabay


Bozzie is still away this morning,  at the G7, but he seems to have been upsetting a quite a few people. You might remember that yesterday he complained about the US not allowing our Melton Mowbray Pork Pies in and listed a number of countries where they sold, including Thailand. I read in the No 10 copy of The Guardian that they’d decided to call Bozzie a liar, claiming that the pies had never been exported to Thailand, citing the Melton Mowbray Pork Pie Makers Assocition (whose boss is a vegetarian). Unfortunately a company that had exported to Thailand was named and they aren’t members of the association.

Next he upset the BBC who he told to suck it up and pay the over 75’s TV License, just as they had signed up to do in the 2015 funding settlement and Charter Renewal. The BBC were happy enough to take the money for four years but then welched on the deal when they were due to take over the responsibility. The BBC have been very upset, complaining that they never agreed and it would cost to much. Strange, as on their Website back in 6th June 2015 they headlined an article with “BBC to fund over-75s’ TV licences” and in the body of the article said “The BBC to take responsibility for funding free TV licence fees for the over-75s” and “The move will be phased in over 2018-19, with sole responsibility from 2020-21”.
The BBC today claimed they had no idea at the time how much it would cost but in the same article it said “Yet the BBC’s director general Lord Hall was positively upbeat, claiming the deal he’s done with the government is a good one which will leave the BBC, at the end of five years, no worse off and possibly slightly better off – though that’s in cash terms, not real terms.” He went on to say he “would not rule out possible cuts to services“, which is just what they are moaning about now.

He has also upset Channel 4 by pulling out of an interview with them while going ahead with interviews with other channels. Serves them right, who wants to be interviewed by a channel that calls him a liar and is constantly anti Tory. If I can get near any of their people I will go in for a good scratch.
He also got up the EU’s nose by telling them that if we leave without a deal they will not get the £39 Billion that Saggy promised. That clearly upset them as they said they will not talk about a Trade Deal until it’s paid. That’s known as cutting of their noses to spite their faces. Finally I hear he told EU leaders not to listen to Remoaners who say we will not be leaving at the end of October. Not a bad days work.


Bozzie is back from France and in a good mood, he seems happy with the way things progressed. The GKP told Bozzie that he had been waiting for him to become PM for years and that the U.K. now had “a very smart” PM.
This morning Dom and Bozzie were chatting about two meetings, one was being held by The Tramp to try to get the opposition parties to agree a vote of no confidence next week and appoint him PM. From what I hear that failed miserably because nobody likes him or trusts him. Instead they agreed to try to force a law to stop a No Deal Brexit. The problem is they don’t know how they are going to do it and they will have to have more meetings to try to sort out how!
To save face for the Tramp they have agreed that their plan B would be a VoNC. Bozzie and Dom rather liked the idea of forcing a law through Parliament to stop No Deal, this  would allow them to call a General Election, blaming it on the opposition parties. It would also them to get rid of any prospective Tory candidates who are Remainers.
The second meeting was the Brexit Party do and I watched most of it over Dom’s shoulder on his iPad. That Mr Farage is a good speaker and he whipped up his supporters. He introduced his candidates for all 650 parliamentary seats, should there be an autumn election, even saying he will stand himself. The bit that got Dom excited was when he said that he was willing to go into some sort of a pact with Bozzie if he agreed on a No Deal Brexit. Dom was shouting, “That’s it, the Tramp is F**ked”.

That nice Anne Widdecombe came on next. I wondered what had happed to her. She was one of those people who always was good to me when she came to No 10. I hope she’ll be coming back soon. She gave a cracking speech and had the audience on their feet many times. Bozzie has booked a phone call to that old soak Jean-Claude Juncker this afternoon, with the intention of telling him to restart Brexit negotiations. I think it’s a bit silly phoning him after lunch, he won’t be sober.

I also hear that David Frost, the UK’s Chief Brexit Negotiator is off to Brussels tomorrow to talk in person with his EU equivalents. He has been chatting with them on the phone for some time now but feels it’s now time for a face to face meeting
The Leader of the Scottish Fishermen’s Association has been applying a little pressure on the EU too. He’s been asking how the French fishermen are going to react when Macaroon finally admits to them that they can no longer legally fish in British waters once we have left the EU and returned to our 200 mile or median line limit. At the moment foreign boats, mainly French, catch 4 times as much fish in our waters as we do in theirs. The French fishermen have already threaten to blockade ports, it would make good TV to see French suction trawlers being sunk.
It’s been too hot for me these last few days. How would you like to have to wear a fur coat all the time? I’ve been searching out nice shady spots in the garden and have emptied my water bowl twice. I understand that it’s going to be a little cooler tomorrow.


Dom is very pleased with himself this morning. The strategy that he and Bozzie have worked out to prorogue Parliament has really upset the Remoaners. If the Queen agrees to the date when she meets the Mogg it really squeezes the Remoaners, hopefully not giving them time to pass legislation to stop a No Deal and making it look like the only thing that they could do is call a Vote of No Confidence which it’s doubtful would pass. The TV’s has been on in the offices all morning and all that seems to have been on is Remoaners whinging about it not being “Democratic”. Dom has been laughing at them, he says what they are doing isn’t Democratic, suggesting that they’ve been hoisted with their own petard (whatever that means). He says it’s delicious.

Bozzie was very busy on the phone yesterday afternoon and early evening. I heard him talking to the Dutch Prime Minister and then the Premiers of Malta, Bulgaria, Romania and the Czech Republic. He also spoke for 20 minutes with Junker. From what I heard he told them all that we were leaving on 31st October so they better get on with it if they wanted a deal.
I hear that The Tramp has written to the Queen complaining about Bozzie asking for the proroguing of Parliament and asking for a meeting. I understand that the Queen is used to getting letters in wax crayon as she has young grandchildren. However, I was told it was too late to make any difference as the Privy Council meeting had already taken place. I saw a picture of that nice Mr Rees-Mogg at the airport, who was on his way home after meeting Her Majesty and getting her agreement.

I’ve heard that Clive Lewis MP is threatening not to leave Parliament if it is prorogued. I would just leave him there, with no food, water, heat, light or power and lock the chamber doors so he had no access to the loos. I wonder how long it would be before he was begging to be let out.


They was a lot of noisy oiks at the end of Downing Street last night complaining about Bozzie and Dom’s latest escapade. They kept me awake past my usual bedtime so that I overslept this morning and missed my little listen in to the over breakfast discussions. I will have to wander around the place and see what I can pick up.

I’m fed up with hearing and seeing wall to wall Remoaners. The TVs and Radios have been on in all the offices and wherever I’ve ventured the MSM seems to have been interviewing them. I did see that nice Mr Rees-Mogg on but he was quickly followed by that Up Hill Gardener bloke. They all seem very upset. Next up was that Grevious bloke. He said he was still going to block leaving without a deal and that he had a cunning plan. When the interviewer asked him what it was, he said he wasn’t telling. I thought Dom was going to have a seizure, he laughed so much.
Then they said they were cutting to that Scottish Lesbian who was going to say that she was resigning as Scottish Tory Leader because of what Bozzie had done yesterday. Funny, when she came on she said nothing of the sort. She wanted to spend more time with her new baby boy and, anyway, Bozzie was very nice really. That shut them all up for a minute or two, but they were soon back interviewing every Remoaner they could find.


I’d just had my dinner last night and was getting ready to curl up on the sofa when I heard a bit of a row. Of course I had to go and investigate and I bumped into several beefy Policemen throwing one of the Treasury aides out of the building. The story I heard was that she had been questioned about leaks, which she denied, and was asked to hand over her phone to prove it. When she refused she was sacked, all her passes cancelled and the Police called to escort her off the Westminster estate. Someone said she had been one of Spreadsheet Phil’s SPADs who had been kept on by The Saj. Dom called all the staff together when Bozzie moved in and told them that anyone caught leaking would be immediately sacked. If that’s what she’s done, she can’t say she wasn’t warned.

This morning I hear that John Major, the failed Prime Minister famous for his affair with Edwina Curry, is to join up with that Gina Miller in a legal attempt to stop Bozzie proroguing Parliament. The case is due to start on Thursday next week. Good luck with that, as I hear this morning that the first attempt in the Scottish Courts has failed to get an injunction and a full hearing is to be held  on Tuesday next week . Dom has been huffing and puffing a bit this morning. He isn’t happy with The Tramp who he says is encouraging civil unrest. His Momentum supporters are threatening to block roads and bridges and the Tramp has agreed with them. If that is the same rabble who kept me awake the other night I hope they all get arrested.
Bozzie was very nervous this morning. He was making a speech this afternoon on education funding, giving schools additional £billions over the next few years. He isn’t normally nervous before a speech, but today’s audience was a bit different, it included a load of school children in the front few rows. I saw it on the evening TV News and it seemed to go well.

Well, I’m off for my final wander of the day, round the house and garden, before I see if I can curl up on the sofa with Bozzie and the Little Otter.


As I ate my Felix I was listening into the conversation and the radio, as usual, thank goodness they ignore me. They normally listen to Nick Ferrari but being Saturday some other bloke is standing in, but he is nowhere near as good. There was a report on the radio that the Saj and Bozzie had had a blazing row about the sacked SPAD. Bozzie Bear was chuckling as he said to the Little Otter “where do they get this crap?”. He then said that The Saj wasn’t terribly happy that Dom sacked her, because he wanted to do it himself! The Little Otter was reading the Daily Mail and she pointed out to Bozzie that he was doing very well in their latest opinion poll and the Tory lead was up again. What he really liked though was the table that compared his character with that of The Tramp. He led in every single category. Statesmanship, Intelligence, Strength, Caring, Common Touch and Charisma.
There is also a report that the EU is going to offer another extension to Article 50. Bozzie said “I’ll believe that when Verhoftstadt calls me and makes the offer, then I’ll tell him I’ll think about it, but ask him what else are they offering?”

The Tramp is said to have been backing protests about proroguing Parliament today. The Little Otter wanted to know if he could be arrested for sedition. Bozzie said that might make it worse but would be fun. I saw the protesters on the TV evening news and it looked a pretty pathetic turn out in most places. Even the BBC couldn’t make the crowds look big. Right that’s it for this week, I’m  going to have my day of rest tomorrow, I might even try to watch the Sunday Morning political programmes on the TV, they usually have them on in the offices and I like a good laugh.

© WorthingGooner 2019