“yeah in them days i first teamed up with Max Wall in the ’50’s. we started out returning our library books late then moved up the criminal ladder to knock down ginger.”
“Me and and Max hide our spoons in the peak of our cap ,and jack slipper of the yard was none the wiser, but if any one took liberties , out come the spoons and we played ’em double quick to ‘when im cleaning windows’ .not even Billy Hill Or them fackin Mugs the Krays dared to cross us. The puffs”
“unfortunately we tried to take on Arthur Askeys Firm .. but they beat me senseless and took me Dunlop green flash”.
“Did i ever tell you that time me and ‘blue ball’ moshia from jack spots old crew charged Charles Hawtrees mob at bramall lane??..the blade business crew casually kicked the shite out of us, and they taxed max’s Sergio tacchini jodphurs..”
“ah those were the days, my first appearance on ‘ready steady go’. mick jagger nicked me walk,and the rest is history. never mind.
sandy shaw and long john baldry invited me for a threesome at the scotch of st james Club. cor blimey.but when sandy saw me tiny hampton , she asked for charlie drake instead”.
“what a fackin two and eight, i got mugged by tommy ‘half a sixpence ‘steele on me way home behind a skip at icelands ,and he took me baron john cumberband , what a fackin liberty” them were the days . I was feared throughout the football hooligan cosmos.
….anyway where the fack was i ?..oh yeah.. “This was taken in the summer of love 1943, noel coward brought over this music from detroit see, acid house they called it, anyway noel had a dive bar ‘esmeraldas’ off the old kent road’,coining it in he was, licence to print money.”
“Me and my pal from shoreditch, chester drawers saw an opening. The real money was in the pills, you know, fishermans friends, werthers originals , cough candys, the kids loved em, and at a thrupence each me and chester would soon be able to afford a new wardrobe of clothes off tommy cockles de mob stall on the old kent road, dungarees bandannas and smiley t shirts All that caper, “
“unfortunately the cast of micheal bentines potty time, who were pushing pure 100% uncut liquorice, slashed my black tights on the first night cause they thought i was a cunt , and left me hanging out like a red arsed baboon “
..and they took me primark undercrackers, fackin midgets, so i had to suck off feared skiffle king Lonnie Donegan for a white fiver backstage at the whisky a go go, to cut me losses. Fack me!