Question Time 5th December 2024
The Panel:
Jacqui Smith (Labour)
Kevin Hollinrake (Conservative)
Nigel Farage (Reform UK)
Alastair Campbell (Author & Podcaster)
Venue: Lincoln
We can vote them out but we can’t get rid of them. On last week’s QT there was no Tory MP, rather Rory Stewart and Jacob Rees-Mogg, both of whom previously lost or gave up their safe Tory shire seats. This week it is the Labour Party’s turn to not have an MP on Question Time. Instead, they are represented by Jacqui Smith (not her real name, The Right Honourable Jacqueline Jill Smith, Baroness Smith of Malvern, PC) previously thrown out by the voters at the 2010 general election.
What does PC stand for? Privy Councillor. The Privy Council being a body of advisors to the monarch. If King Charles needs to know how to lie and steal, he need look no further than ermine-clad Dame Jacqui who was ennobled to the House of Lords and appointed Minister of State for Skills by Keir Starmer after he won the 2024 general election.
For during the parliamentary expenses scandal, it emerged that Jacqui, her then-husband Richard and their two sons’ main residence was the spare room in Ms Smith’s sister’s London home. Meanwhile, her second home, on which she could claim expenses, wasn’t a crash flat within walking distance of the House of Commons but a large family residence in her Redditch constituency. All in all, she claimed well over £100,000 fraudulently, including the cost of pay-per-view porno films charged to her telecoms bill.
Speaking of her ex-husband, in the interests of equality of opportunity, while they were still married and she was still in parliament, Richard was Jacqui’s £40,000 per annum parliamentary aid.
Next time Windsor Castle or Buckingham Palace needs a lick of paint, King Charles might be advised to save on the pennies by recruiting from one of His Majesty’s Prisons. In 2011 John Rojas reported in the Telegraph that Smith, a former home secretary, ‘Arranged for two day-release prisoners to paint her home when they should have been doing community work.’
They can resign and be expelled, but we still can’t get rid of them. Last week’s panellist, Rory Stewart, is a podcaster. His podcast co-host, Alastair Campbell, is on this week’s panel.
Appointed Tony Blair’s official spokesman when in opposition in 1994, three years later, after the Labour election victory, Campbell became the new prime minister’s chief press secretary. Stepping back from daily briefings in 2000 to concentrate on strategy, the 67-year-old resigned from his Downing Street job in 2003 mid-way through Lord Hutton’s enquiry into the death of Dr David Kelly, a government scientist who contradicted the ‘dodgy dossier’ evidence presented by Campbell and the Number 10 machine when attempting to justify the 2003 invasion of Iraq.
An unhinged Remainer, Alistair was expelled from the Labour Party for voting Liberal Democrat in the 2019 Europen Elections. These days he presents the ‘Rest is Politics’ podcast alongside last week’s Rory.
How does a podcaster make money? Through advertising and sponsorship. In his latest episode, Alaistair is promoting Japanese chef knives and revolutionary orthopaedic magnetic insoles. At the top of the programme, instead of deconstructing short-lived martial law in South Korea or explaining trans-Atlantic jurisprudence in the context of a kinship-driven presidential pardon, Mr Campbell informs the masses, ‘Fuse are a green electricity supplier generating power from their own solar and wind farms and investing 100% of their profits back into more renewables around the UK. With the price cap going up in January, now is the time to switch to Fuse!’
You sad, sad man, Campbell, you sad, sad, sad, sad man.
Kevin Hollinrake is the Conservative Member of Parliament for Thirsk and Malton and Shadow Secretary of State for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities. First elected to parliament in 2015, at the recent general election he saw his 25,154 majority reduced to 7,550 with Reform UK appearing from nowhere to take 8,900 votes.
Kevin studied physics at Sheffield Polytechnic but dropped out before completing his course to enter the insurance industry. Moving into business, the 61-year-old co-founded the York-based Hunter’s estate agency, which has grown to be one of the largest independent networks of sales & lettings agents in the UK. With his nous for property, canny Kevin declares in his Parliamtney members list of interests that he rents out five properties but elsewhere in the small print, still claims rental expenses for a second home near parliament.
Another interesting contradiction struck in 2019 when the FT reported a conflict of interest while he sat on the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Fair Business Banking. The APPG was drawing up a scheme to help small businesses wronged by banks while Mr Hollinrake’s Hunter’s company was suing Clydesdale Yorkshire Bank Group regarding a ‘contentious tailored business loan’. Hmm.
Educated privately at £61,000 per annum (inc VAT) Dulwich College, Nigel Farage is the MP for Clacton and the leader of Reform UK. Originally a commodities trader in the City of London, the 60-year-old was bitten by the political bug and became a founding member of the United Kingdom Independence Party in 1993. Six years later, he was elected as a UKIP member to the European Parliament. Re-elected in 2004, 2009 and 2014, he simultaneously stood for the Westminster parliament on eight occasions; six in general elections and two in by-elections.
Eighth time proved lucky when he overturned Clacton’s 24,700 Tory majority at July’s general election. Despite being in frontline politics for over three decades, Mr Farage somehow managed to win the recent Spectator magazine ‘Newcomer of The Year’ award. During his acceptance speech, Nigel promised a forthcoming political revolution. We shall see.
***
The first question was an odd one and referenced a speech made earlier in the day by Kier Starmer. Few will have listened to it and those who did will have fallen asleep through it. Was it a cry for forgiveness wondered the questioner, who thought there is more chaos now than there was under the Tories.
Jacui waffled on with the usual dishonest cliches and in doing so put us to sleep in much the same way her party leader might. The budget is bad, so is the red tape, said Kevin.
An audience member pointed out all the Cabinet are from the public sector. Where is the private sector experience needed to improve things?
Alastair thought politics had become harder because of social media and populism. Added to which, government is a lot more difficult than opposition. If Labour could do what Starmer said he would do today, then Campbell would support them, but more is required. It’s about a story, an ongoing story that will engage the public. Stand by for another rendition of the side-splitting yarn about Starmer’s father being a toolmaker.
Alastair thought the wall of lies we get from the media-political-legal bubble are ‘issues with clarity’ – a strategy must be clear.
Nigel Farage had watched the speech and stole my joke by saying he was pleased with himself for staying awake through it. Labour is promising all the things the previous government promised. This will make us poorer not richer. It ain’t going to work. The problem is the exploding population – the responsibility of both Alastair’s lot and the Tory lot. Labour’s declared milestones don’t even include tackling the immigration millstone.
A gentleman in the audience mentioned that the private sector has to work seven days a week to pay the taxes that the public sector spends in four.
Jacqui said none of this was the fault of the fully-funded Labour manifesto. She hadn’t anticipated the £22 billion black hole.
Is that why you hit the pensioners? asked Nigel.
Campbell interrupted to say he was disappointed Starmer hadn’t mentioned Brexit.
‘Oh, dear,’ said Nigel to applause. ‘Oh, dear. It’s eight years ago, it’s done. We’re independent, we’re free.’
Campbell ranted about Brexit. Incidentally, the ‘Rest is’ series of podcasts are produced by Gary Lineker’s production company. Therefore, as well as kissing the backsides of Japanese chefs, the Green lobby and The International Brotherhood of Magnetic Insole Manufacturers, Campbell also has to repeat all of the uber-woke BBC bubble crisp salesman’s prejudices.
‘Move on, for you the war is over,’ Nigel reminded sad, sad Alasitair.
The next question was about immigration. Kevin Hollinrake said the previous Conservative government of which he was a member had got it wrong. No, they didn’t. The Tories are in favour of mass, uncontrolled, unlimited immigration at any cost, and that’s exactly what they achieved when in power.
Farage wondered how Kenin could keep a straight face after breaking their promises time after time after time. It was willful. Immigration doesn’t produce diversity it produces division. It’s a catastrophe making Britain poorer. With the Labour and the Tories, it will only get worse.
There needs to be rules and a system, and it has to be seen to work, began Campbell promisingly. He then spoilt the effect by saying the Labour Party are getting it right and made a fool of himself by blaming Brexit. He then complained that people from Poland and France had gone back home because of Brexit to be replaced by people from Nigeria. Bit racist? Campbell then quoted last week’s Rory and the ‘ageing population’. In the last two decades, the average age has increased from 39 to 40, he forgot to add.
At which point, I emigrated to bed.
© Always Worth Saying 2024
The Goodnight Vienna Audio file
