White House photo by Eric Draper, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Our first Prime Minister, or First Lord of the Treasury, was Robert Walpole in the earlyish 1700s. His motto was “every man has his price and I know it bar a few” and some of his successors have fully lived up to that motto. Our fondly remembered Maggie, well not everywhere, once said her greatest achievement was creating Tony Blair in her political image. I would hate to disillusion her but the old deceiver was not in her image at all.
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, more recently christened Satan Blair because of his evil deeds, was our Prime Minister between 1997 and 2007. He became leader of the Labour Party and therefore Leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition in 1994 upon the timely and opportune death of John Smith. Many comparisons have been made between Satan’s rise and that of Harold Wilson who took over from Hugh Gaitskell who was allegedly poisoned by the Russians.
Before reached these dizzying heights, in 1983 Satan was caught importuning in a public toilet, aka cottaging, and gave his name as Charles Lynton. He was charged at Bow Street, was fined £500 and managed to slink out with nobody recognising him. The police notes were then disappeared as well as several prior warnings. Allegedly known as Miranda at University he was reputed to be a cross dresser. This tittle tattle was supplied by one of the fat ladies of BBC fame who was at the same Uni at the same time. Of course the AI bots can find no evidence of the conviction.
Having reached Number 10 in a landslide as the Tories once more collapsed into public disrepute, Satan was walking on water. He had already had the seemingly obligatory visit from the Dirty Digger, old Rupert Murdoch himself, whereupon he received the diminutive antipodean’s blessing. This was duly feted in the Sun which sold about 4 million copies a day in that period.
At some point early on a decision was made to rub the right’s face in diversity and this directly led to us being swamped with invaders. The fat Turk’s Boriswave merely accelerated something that was already underway.
One of his first brushes with scandal was the £1 million donation to the Labour Party from Bernie Ecclestone of Formula 1 fame. The government wanted to ban tobacco advertising from sport. This was about to cost F1 dear and the £1 million bung was to exempt motor racing from the ban. Blair of course, true to form, lied through his teeth about all this and ended up proclaiming he was “a pretty straight sort of guy” which was yet another lie.
On five separate occasions Satan sent our troops in harm’s way. This is more than any other Prime Minister. To my mind Satan’s worst crimes are the politicisation of every area of our lives. The police, armed forces, judiciary and civil service were repopulated at the highest levels with left wing nutters. This has enabled the present occupant of Number 10 to blast aside any objections to his attempts to destroy our once great country. It has been said that the objective of this process was to make a future right wing government impossible. We may see how true that is in the not too distant future, assuming the plank known as Keith allows any future elections.
It has often been said that Blair was just a frontman and that the decisions were made by Alkie Campbell. This is much the same as Rodney Spanner being directed by that revolting Fenian MacSweeney.
Since leaving office Satan has amassed millions upon millions with his various companies. He said early on that he had his people in place advising governments all over the world. Who gave him the right to do that. He has also made a pretty penny from advising some fairly despotic regimes. He was also Middle East Peace envoy for some years and made not the slightest difference to the area. It took orange man bad to get anything done but true to form, said orange man who is a terrible judge of character has invited Satan onto his Board of Peace. This is in direct contravention of the wishes of most of the countries in the Middle East who have had a much closer experience with Satan.
Perhaps his greatest political achievement was the coming of David Cameron as the heir to Blair. This resulted in the Tories being flooded by former LibDems who were the wettest of the wets. Since then the Tories have been utterly hopeless, a trait that has not changed since the anchor baby took over.
© well_chuffed 2026
