Polling Predictions #17

Rama, CC BY-SA 2.0 FR, via Wikimedia Commons

This week’s sh!tshow has got off to a good start. With news that the Tory campaign is having zero effect the dwarf is rushing northwards to shore up the Tory base and try to deflect Reform. On the other hand the Tories also claim their campaign is going exactly as planned. Of course it is if you accept that the Prime Miniature is trying to destroy his own Party.

The thing to remember about opinion polls is that somebody has paid for them. It is unlikely they didn’t give the pollster a hint of the kind of result they wanted. The polls are not generally accurate until a week or so before the election otherwise the pollsters would have no credibility when the real results appeared.

On the other side of the alleged divide Faiza Shaheen, who has been deprived of Labour candidacy versus Ian Drunken Smith, claims hundreds of people have told her they can no longer vote Labour. The suspicion has to be that she only moves among her fellow muzz.

One of the most pleasant tasks I shall have this week is to confirm to you that Grant “manynames” Shapps is going to lose his seat of Welwyn Hatfield by some margin. One of the Toriest of Tories, his passing will not be mourned. There is also cheering news regarding the Cabinet. Among others, Kemi Badenoch, Penny Mordaunt and Jacob Rees-Mogg are also on course to be getting their P45.

Dan Hodges is predicting that if the Tory poll position doesn’t improve by the time you read this article there will be some kind of fracture. He’s not sure what it will look like but claims things will start to fall apart. The Prime Miniature rushing around has done nothing, maybe he should take a leaf out of Ed Militwat’s book and lie low. Ed’s poll figures always improved when he did that.

D:Ream have banned Labour from using their “Things can only get better” song. Can they even do that if Labour pay the royalties ? Someone needs to tell the ludicrous Steve Bray. I remember when Stink did not like “Don’t stand so close to me” being used for a deodorant advert. I don’t think he was able to stop them using it.

In general terms the weekend of June 1st to 2nd has been devoid of election news. They all seem to have gone into hiding. FWIW my guess is that they all took a look in the mirror and didn’t like what they saw. The pesky injun has been rushing here there and everywhere, Keith has been wrapped in the FFRC saga and Ed Davey has been doing slapstick. The net result of all this is that the polls have not moved at all, meaning that their efforts have been worthless. Keith just needs to keep schtumm and he will be PM on July 5th.

The FFRC is milking her spat with Keith for all it is worth and it looks like her minions are also stirring the pot with what looked like fake headlines. What a horrible woman, it was a dark day for this country when her parents moved to these shores. I wonder if the tramp is encouraging her.

I can hear a distinct twittering sound and It’s getting louder. On closer examination it turns out to be puffins laughing their socks off at my prediction that Farage would not stand in this election and would instead go and help the Donald. I have predicted this several times and am now tempted to avoid predicting anything, There are now predictions the pesky injun will step down in time for Cameron to be anointed as leader. They will have to be PDQ about it then and the mechanics would be mind boggling.

There is going to be a 7 way debate on Friday 7th June on Al-Jabeeba. Nigel will take part, Penny Mordaunt will represent the Tories and (wait for it) Crayons will be speaking up for Labour. I may have said this before once or twice but what a sh!tshow.

Before Nigel’s announcement the Clacton polling was Tory 32%, Reform 24% and Labour also 24%. Nigel also said this election will be about immigration. George Galloway said a while ago this election will. Be about Gaza. Galloway has been keeping a very low profile. I believe he has been schlepping around the mosques making sure the faithful vote the right way. I have seen no polls that give any indication of his support. The imams will have instructed the faithful and those unable to read or write in English will be given a hand filling in their postal vote.

Latest on the Faiza Shaheen saga, she has now resigned from the Labour Party, is she cozying up to Gorgeous George ? Speaking of George, he has now claimed something that everybody knew anyway, that Obummer is still running the United States. It turns out that Faiza is going to run as an independent. Obviously she is too gobby for George’s delicate shrinking violets.

Farage’s entry as a candidate has set a rather lacklustre campaign on fire. Apparently there was a leaders’ debate between the pesky injun and Keith. I had found some pins to stick in my eyes so the MSM claiming this that and the other about who won it didn’t resonate at all. The latest polls show Labour down a little bit and the Tories up a little bit. I am just waiting to see the polls afters Farage’s bombshell. I reckon he had this planned all along, love him or loathe him, he is a master of timing.

A YouGov poll on Wednesday shows Reform at 17% only 2 points behind the Tories. Labour have sunk to 40% so it looks like Farage has stolen more votes from Labour. However it was a smallish poll and they have changed their methodology. I wonder if the poll was commissioned by Reform. Labour are reduced to saying the only poll that matters is the one on July 4th, how predictable.

Douglas Ross, who is the Tory leader in the Scottish County Council, has changed his mind. Having said he would not stand at the GE, he has now decided to stand in Banff and Buchan where Tory MP David Duguid has been deselected on medical grounds.

The Green Party have found new places to hose money up the wall. Pledging £30 billion for rNHS and £20 billion for social care, they are going to squeeze the very richest; a 1% tax on those with assets over £10 million and 2 % for those with assets over £1 billion. Presumably this will be an annual tax and most of those who fall into those categories will not hang around to be taxed or will find loopholes. Initial exemptions are likely to be the muzz and MPs.

Tory candidate for Bridgend Sam Trask has resigned after some comments about women. He claimed his preferred bra size measurement technique was hand sizing them by feel and a more detailed inspection with lips and tongue might be needed. FFS what’s wrong with that, he might even be a puffin. In other Tory candidate news, CCHQ tried to shoehorn the Tory Chairman into what they think is a safe seat. They were roundly told to clear off by the local association who have a perfectly good local candidate.

Welcome news for us from Leicester East where puffin favourite the oleaginous Keith Vaz is going to stand as an Independent. Must be running short of the necessary. Rent Boys and Coke are not cheap.

The pesky injun left the D-Day celebrations early and this has not gone down well with Tory MPs. Probably he has no clue what D-Day was or what it means. Claims are that he left early to do a pre-arranged interview with Paul Brand at ITV where he hoped to prove he wasn’t a liar. He was in such a rush he managed to lose the poppy from his lapel. What a loser – even Tim Montgomerie was aghast. Sunak is definitely a twanger of the wire. To compound it the rat faced little fink has been forced to apologise, too late pal, the damage has been done. Many are saying stop digging, I hope he keeps on digging.

Jeremy Bonus Hole is promising parents a £1,500 tax giveaway after the election. Just a cotton picking minute there. Wasn’t this the kind of behaviour that did for Liz Truss. Perhaps this will be the 4th destination for all that reclaimed tax avoidance money. In contrast Labour have only spent that money three times ! Hold the press, the Tories now have a 5th use for this money, they may be setting some kind of record here. It was always Labour who spent a revenue source multiple times; the socialists are slacking and we eagerly await their 4th destination for all that money they are not going to collect.

See, I told you the Tories are closet LibDems. The “Tory” candidate for Spen Valley, Adam Gregg, has quit after inappropriate photos of underage girls he posted online miraculously appeared again. There are now 2 constituencies without a Tory candidate. Those voters must be distraught.

Calvin Robinson has been expelled from the Tories for supporting Mr Yaxley-Lennon and posting anti-muslim tweets. We’ve all done it. Count Binface is standing in the D-Day dodging hindu dwarf’s constituency. He talks more sense than that little brown chap.

Gorgeous George has now instructed the faithful. No believer of the muzz faith can vote for Keith as they would be unable to justify it to their God. That’s telling them.

Unite the Union have not endorsed Labour’s manifesto. Why TF do they still bother with this BS. Manifestos are officially aspirations not promises. You can put any old tosh in and never implement any of it just like the fat Turk did. We still await the Tory manifesto, I can see some paint drying over yonder.

I have just looked at the tweets about this 7 way debate and can honestly say I am over the moon that I chose to do something else. For those in any doubt the Greenie in the debate was the harpy who is likely to beat Thangam Debbonaire in Bristol, she is also the deputy leader of the Green Party.

Now we get to the polls. They have been a little on the subdued side since Farage announced his intention to run, are the pollsters running scared. Incidentally the Reform candidate Nigel replaced is now standing against him, it’s not all smooth sailing. A fair number of polls this week, generally Labour and the Tories are down a little and Reform looks to be taking those votes. There is still no sign of Galloway’s Workers Party anywhere in the polls. The Labour lead is still over 20% but that does not take into account Galloway’s contribution.

As far as number of seats goes it is all over the place. I do hope the Tories get fewer than 100.

And finally Scotland where Labour go from strength to strength and the SNP sink slowly. The Tory vote seems to be stuck on 17%.

For the sake of my sanity I do hope this pathetic campaign gets more interesting next week. Our political class seem to be the dregs of society. My respect for AWS and his punishment of reviewing QT every week increases daily.

© well_chuffed 2024