Polling Predictions #9

Rama, CC BY-SA 2.0 FR, via Wikimedia Commons

The usual dearth of constituency polls this week but we have a very special treat. There are a couple of polls for North Britain or SNPistan if you prefer. It must be obvious to even the fiercest nationalist that Humza Useless really is useless and may even have been installed to ruin the chances of independence.

There is previous for this. I remain convinced that the SDP was formed with the intention of keeping Maggie in power. Those old enough to remember will recall that her first couple of years were a bit on the dodgy side with ever rising unemployment. It was only the Falklands victory that kept her in power notwithstanding Michael Foot’s longest suicide note in history. If we look back even further it is possible the rise of the Labour Party was planned to finish off the Liberals and it did. More recently we had the panic of CallMeDave at the rise of the Brexit Party and his, for him at least, disastrous idea of a referendum. Politics is a very dirty business. I suspect the WEF wallahs have realised that the hindu dwarf is a duffer and now want to replace him with Keith. Keith may well turn out to be a dud as well.

These two polls are showing a Labour lead over the SNP and it has been a long time since that happened. Considering the Scots rejected Labour for the SNP because Labour basically took them for granted, it surprise me somewhat that they are now returning to Keith and his cohorts. I like to think the SNP is being rejected now because of the origins of its leader but Wee Nippy with her hand in the till can’t have done their prospects much good. Moi, racist, whatever gives you that impression. It seems the poor people of Scotland are destined to be ruled by shysters for ever. There are also polls for Holyrood showing much the same trend but I think the SNP have yet to sink below Labour there, it is close though.

The seat predictions for Scotland are 28 or 29 for Labour, 17 or 18 for the SNP, 6 for the Tories and 5 for the LibDums. Quite a spectacular recovery for Labour and utter disaster for Mr Useless though this may be what he is supposed to do.

The national polls show a Labour lead of at least 20% over the Tories. The hindu dwarf’s much touted plan is alleged to be working. He does bang on about his plan; perhaps it was his five points of which none have happened. Anything the Tories claim to have solved is something they caused in the first place. Paul Daniels had nothing on this bunch of prestidigitateurs. I suppose a 0.1% increase in anything is a shade better than the Caledonian Cyclops and his 0% increase but in truth, nobody is going to notice it.

The other major talking point is still when is he going to call an election. This Parliament expires on 12th December and there is even talk of an election in January. By what kind of jiggery pokery can that happen. Surely MPs are only elected for a five year period. Does this shower of brown stuff intend to cling on a few extra weeks with no legitimacy at all ? If so then it means MPs are elected for ever. What a shambles. Surely he will have to get it over with by Autumn, that will give Keith the chance to get Crayons out of her post and replaced by another useless article. There are some pretty nasty people he can use to replace her, maybe he will go for a muzz in the hope of countering Gorgeous George and his prototype Sharia Party. Mentioning the WPGB, there have been no polls in their likely targets. It is all very strange but then Mr Galloway is keeping his powder dry by announcing very little. There must be a few squeaky bums on the Labour benches.

The national polls show Labour maintaining their 42 to 45 % level and the Tories are hovering around the 20% mark. Savanta have them at 27% but I don’t believe that for one minute. The LibDums are around the 9 or 10% mark, for this they are predicted to get forty odd seats. Reform on the other hand are in the low teens but are predicted to get zero seats. I am not overly concerned by this, their function is to rob the Tories of votes thereby hastening their demise. The Greenies are around the 5 or 6% mark but will probably keep Caroline Luke-arse in Brighton and might even pick up Bristol Central. This would please many because Thangam Debbonnaire (NHRN) would lose her seat accompanied by much rejoicing.

As everyone knows opinion Polls should be taken with a large pinch of salt but I think the trends are unmistakable. Labour are going to win by a very large majority. The SNP is likely to suffer a civil war if Useless stays as leader and the Tories are going to have massive losses. Will these losses be enough to finish them off, we shall see.

I suppose every puffin will have been over the moon to see Crayons being pilloried as she traipsed round Blackpool South campaigning for whomever the reds have installed as their candidate. Voters wearing Tax Inspector hi-viz jackets indeed. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person. I feel we should have more of this sort of thing. Labour are of course complaining but didn’t they have someone dressed as a chicken following Eggwina Currie around all those years ago. They don’t like it up ‘em, whereas some of the Tories most certainly do.

© well_chuffed 2024