Larry’s Diary Week Fifty Nine


Good Morning merry readers, Monday again and Yah it was back to Felix with Gravy this morning. I must have eaten all the stuff with jelly. It wasn’t chicken but beef, not quite as good but at least it was not in jelly.

Anyway, Bozzie has really put the cat amongst the pigeons this morning (I like that expression). Dom told him that he had to do something about Brexit, he was beginning to look weak and indecisive. He said either put your foot down and give the EU an ultimatum to sort out an agreement or walk away now. Looks like Bozzie has chosen to tell the EU to agree to a Canada type deal or we will walk. Obviously the Remoaners in the Labour Party and the Limp Dumps hate this and Mr Ed has been doing the rounds of the TV studios saying how disgusting it is.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Wishing it were among the Pigeons.
Cat (wishing it were) among the pigeons,
Caitriana Nicholson
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

Lots of stabbings over the weekend. There has been a huge fuss over the incident in Birmingham where a “man” went on a rampage and stabbed seven people killing one. Why is it when the suspect is black or Muslim the police are always looking for a “man”? Is the reason they never say they are looking for a black man or a Muslim man because they are afraid of being called racist. Late yesterday they put out a CCTV picture of the man they are looking for and guess what, he is black. Fortunately, it looks like the police arrested him early this morning. But there was another stabbing of six people in London at the weekend that didn’t hit the headline. Why? Is it because it’s only too normal in London.

Over the last two days, the number of people in the UK being tested positive for Coronavirus has leapt up. But what is interesting is that the cases are mainly in the young adults, 18-25, and in clusters. One is in Caerphilly, another in East Anglia and yet another Hertfordshire. At the moment the number of hospital cases is not going up and deaths numbers are still very low but if they follow the French model they could both increase in the next couple of weeks. Mind you the numbers are nothing like India where I read they had 80,000 positive tests yesterday.

A new approach to air travel was announced by Grunt Shatts in the Commons this afternoon. Individual islands, that have a direct air link to the U.K., will be considered to go onto or be removed from the quarantine list regardless of the status of the parent nation. The first changes are seven Greeks Islands that will be added to the quarantine list, but mainland Greece will not. The rules could eventually affect the Canaries or the Balearics but not at the moment.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
The Canary Islands.
Canary Islands, as seen in XVIIe century & today,
Philippe Teuwen
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

Newcastle University is being held to ransom by a gang of hackers. Their computers have been attacked and copies of documents and data extracted before being it was scrambled on the university’s servers. The gang has already released some of the stolen papers and are threatening to release student data unless they are paid off. This is the same gang that has already successfully blackmailed Elon Musk after hacking Tesla and Space-X documents.

A little bit of good news tonight is that the Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, who the Germans say was poisoned with the Novichok nerve agent, has been brought out of his induced coma. He is said to have improved and is responding to verbal stimulus. Hopefully, he will fully recover, but he will never be able to safely return to Russia. If he can’t go back and then Putrid has got exactly what he wanted without actually killing him.

Did you read the story of the 80-year-old French man who blew up his kitchen while trying to swat a fly? He was eating his dinner when a fly started buzzing around his meal. He grabbed an electronic fly swat and it ignited a gas leak from his domestic supply cylinder. He destroyed part of his kitchen and caused the ceiling to collapse. The man was lucky only to burn his hand and after a check-up at his local hospital he has gone to a local camping site while his family repair his kitchen.


I woke up about half-past three this morning and decided to go and look for the mouse. As I walked into the general office I saw him, but he saw me at the same time and shot off behind the same cupboard as last time. He must have a hole there. How can I get the humans to move the cupboard, they don’t seem to understand when I ask them. I just went back to bed until breakfast.

I hear that Keir Stoma has change both his and the Labour Party position on Brexit. He has been telling the media that he now accepts that we have left and that he will not be supporting rejoining. He also said that he won’t be pressing for a deal but it was up to Bozzie to make things work. Well, he has made his position clearer at last but it a bit of a nothing burger. He could hardly campaign to rejoin after last years election outcome and he still isn’t really coming up with a policy of his own just saying Bozzie must make his work.

The earth moved for people in Leighton Buzzard this morning. They had a 3.3 magnitude earthquake just before ten this morning. I don’t think I would like it very much if everything started shaking. Bedfordshire Police reported that the only damage was the Chief Inspector spilt his tea. Although we don’t live in an active seismic zone we do get about two quakes of this strength every year.

This doesn’t happen in the UK.

Ofcom got very nearly 3000 complaints over this weeks Britain’s Got Talent. What upset all those people was a Black Lives Matters inspired dance performance by a troupe called Diversity. During the routine one dancer dressed as a policeman knelt on one of the dancer’s necks.

On the TV this morning they were showing a robot that was programmed to talk to lonely old people in care homes. It is designed to ask questions to learn about the person and then have a conversation with them. I think that is just silly, surely it would be better to get them a cat. We make very good companions for old folks, we are very good listeners and don’t want a lot just a bit of food and the occasional bit of affection. It’s been proved that stroking a cat is an excellent stress reliever.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Stroking a Pussy.
Edd Turtle
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

It looks like the Government is going to change the rules on the number of people who can meet in one place in England. At the moment it is recommended that no more than 30 can meet but the number is to be reduced to 6 on Monday and made to be enforceable by law. £100 fines can be issued for breaches of the law. However, I hear there will be exceptions and Bozzie is going to do a Press conference on the subject tomorrow. It looks like weddings, funerals and organised team sports will be amongst the exceptions, but we will see.


Still no mouse news, except that I popped down to the office in the middle of the night and there was no sign of him so I went back to my basket. The good news was that it was Felix Chicken in Gravy at breakfast so it should be the same for dinner tonight. I sneaked a look at the pack and it says give a healthy adult cat 3 sachets a day either as two meal or three meals. As I’m a healthy adult and I get two meals a day I make that 1 1/2 sachets a meal so if I get chicken in the morning a sachet is already open so I should get the same for dinner. This cat is not stupid I’ll have you know.

Lots of the media this morning are going with the story that Bozzie is going to bring back restrictions on how many people in England can meet. Well he put one of his good suits on this morning, he wouldn’t waste that on PMQ’s, so I have been listening and he and Dom have been busy writing his words for a press conference which I gather will be a 16:00. I wonder if I can sneak in to watch, I might even try to get onto live telly.

The AstraZeneca coronavirus programme has been temporarily halted because one of the volunteers has become ill. I understand that this is nothing unusual and this always happens if someone in the programme becomes ill. The cause of the illness is investigated by an independent team because it might not have been caused by the vaccine or if it was it might be a very rare reaction. Although AstraZeneca have not said anything an American paper has said someone in the UK has been diagnosed with transverse myelitis – an inflammation across the spinal cord. If the paper is right the vaccine could have caused the myelitis, but so could no end of other things. It seems no one really knows what causes it but it could be a load of viruses including the chickenpox herpes virus, HIV, measles, hepatitis B or even flu. They also suspect bacteria in the form of syphilis, TB, tetanus and Lyme Disease and even some parasites or fungal infections. I don’t know if anyone will ever be able to establish exactly what has happened but this is the first incident in 17,000 vaccinations.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Transverse Myelitis.
Transverse Myelitis,
Jason Robert Young MD
Licence CC BY-SA 4.0

This morning an organisation called Greengage 21 had started a campaign to have HS2 extended to Scotland with trains going on from the present intended terminal in Crewe to Glasgow and then across to Edinburgh. This could mean a running time of 3 hours 10 minutes to Glasgow. Alternatively, they say, the branch to Yorkshire could be extended to Edinburgh and across to Glasgow. Once again the London to Edinburgh time should be about 3 hours 10 minutes but this route might be better as much of the East Coast Mainline could be upgraded and it could include services to Newcastle. Personally I don’t see the point of running high-speed trains to Scottishland if they don’t want to be part of the UK.

I see that the native red squirrel has got a boost from the reintroduction of pine martens into parts of Wales. The martens are carnivores but they prefer to catch and eat grey squirrels to red squirrels. Scientists think that is because the greys are about twice the size of red ones they make a much better meal. Although the martens do eat red squirrels they seem to attack them a lot less. I say that’s great, get rid of the invaders.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Looking for his dinner?
Pine Marten,
Vince Smith
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

If you watched PMQs yesterday you can hardly have failed to have noticed the Bozzie, Stoma and various other MPs where wearing wheat in their lapels. Why? It was another “day” this time Farm Awareness Day. When Bozzie got back to Number 10 he was sneezing and had red eyes looks like he is allergic to wheat. Will he stop eating it now, I bet not he likes his soldiers with his boiled egg

It always some day or another and today it’s World Electric Vehicle Day, I didn’t know there was such a thing. To celebrate it Ford released the results of an opinion poll. 40% said they had no intention of ever buying an EV, 21% said they wouldn’t buy one for at least 5 years and another 20% said they could possibly buy one but not for another 3 to 5 years. When asked, the people said the reasons were range anxiety, the difficulties of charging and the high cost of EVs. The Government have big plans to get everyone to move to EV’s but this shows just how much they need to do to convince people to trade in their reliable, cheap petrol cars for an expensive EV, with limited range and difficult to charge.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Electric Ford Focus.
Plug-in 2010,
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

I was hanging around near the press conference podiums when someone grabbed me and shut me in the office, so much for my plan to get to become a star of television. At least the dreamies girl was there and she gave me some. Anyway, I got to watch Bozzie on the TV. He said because the number of positive coronavirus cases had shot up over the last few days the Government was going to reduce the number of people who could meet together from 30 down to 6 from this coming Monday. He called it “The Rule of Six” and it will become an offence if it is ignored. There are exemptions like weddings, funerals, offices, schools and team sports. People can still go restaurants but a maximum of six can eat together.

Bozzie then went on to say that he wants to do loads more testing and eventually to change the testing over so that once a test is available, that gives results in perhaps 20 mins was fully proven, it would be made widely available. That way people could test themselves daily and know they were not infectious and could live a normal life. He said that a test programme was to start in Salford very shortly.

I see we are in for a few more warm days, but thank goodness the nights are going to be a bit cooler so I should be able to sleep. Right, I’m off for my dinner. I hope my theory is right and it’s Chicken in Gravy, my mouth is already watering.


Still no luck with the search for the office mouse, but I can smell him so I know he’s still about, it’s only a matter of time. My chicken prediction was right for last night. It was lamb in gravy this morning, not as good as last night, but I scoffed it before the Mutt got anywhere near my bowl. Bozzie was not looking closely at his boiled egg and soldiers with his nose in the papers and when he dropped one of the soldiers the Mutt was in like a shot almost before it hit the ground.

The MSM is full of criticism of Bozzie’s “Rule of Six” this morning. I just can’t understand them. First, they ask for stronger restrictions because of the growing rate of positive coronavirus tests and then when that is what they get they moan about big families not being able to get together for Christmas. The surge in cases is mainly among the 18 to 35-year-olds with the number of deaths staying low. Only this is exactly what happened in Spain six to eight weeks ago but then in the last week or so the number of deaths suddenly started to increase. Earlier this week Spain cut back on the number of people who could meet just like like Bozzie did yesterday. Bozzie is trying to get in early with the restrictions in the hope that the number of deaths will be kept down.

Wee Krankie is not normally one to follow on behind Bozzie. She usually wants to do her own thing to prove her independence but this time she has brought in a very similar rule of six. But she has decided not to count little children as she doesn’t want to be considered a Grinch. While talking about Scottishland I had to laugh when I read that the Shetland Isles council have voted to go for independence from Scottishland should they ever vote to leave the UK in a referendum. The Shetland Isles have grown more and more unhappy with the Edinburgh Government recently. They have a much stronger economy than the mainland and economists say they could almost certainly survive on their own.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
The Shetlands to quit Scottishland?
Kingdom of Mann and the Isles-en,
Licence CC BY-SA 3.0

The regular free trade talks have been going on this week and as usual Barnier is not happy, complaining that we will not give in to the EU’s demands overfishing etc. However, there are special talks going on by the Withdrawal Agreement disputes committee which is jointly chaired by the Gove and the EU’s Maros Sefcovic. The EU are not happy because Bozzie has introduced an Internal Markets Bill that will make some changes to the Withdrawal Agreement regarding Northern Ireland. The Withdrawal Agreement says that Northern Ireland will be subject to EU state aid rules rather than UK rules. Recently the EU have been trying to claim that the agreement means that the whole of the UK is subject to EU state aid rules and the Internal Markets Bill repudiates this. The EU are now claiming that we are not negotiating in good faith. Funny because the EU have not been negotiating in good faith since day one.

Some days I wish I could wander down to the House of Commons and watch the goings-on. Unfortunately, I am too dedicated to my work in Downing Street. Today I would have seen about a dozen topless ladies from XR who had chained themselves to the railings. They were protesting about Britains lack of action on climate change. I must admit I thought we had done more than almost any other country. It’s a good job it was only pleasantly warm today. It would have been tough if it had been freezing cold or very hot and sunny so they got sunburnt breasts.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
XR think they are on the side of the Angels.
Red ribbon from Paris.
John Englart
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

On Tuesday I mentioned that Diversity had received loads of complaints over their performance on Britain’s Got Talent. The complaints keep rolling in and by the middle of this afternoon Ofcom said the number had reached 10,267. This one of the biggest number of complaints received in recent years.


Bozzie was reading the papers over his breakfast this morning and chuckling. I can’t help but think he thinks he has got the EU where he wants them. I remember when that horrible old lady lived here, they where always summoning her to Brussels for meetings. She had to leave here early in the morning and took every opportunity to rub her pointy nose in it. But this time they wasted no time in rushing over to London and moan about Bozzie’s proposed Internal Markets Bill and issue meaningless threats. Well, it looks like Bozzie or Dom has been a bit more clever this time and is using the parliamentary sovereignty established by Gina Miller to challenge the Withdrawal Agreement. The story I hear is that the EU intended to use the Withdrawal Agreement to ban exports of food from the UK to Northern Ireland but Bozzie found out and will not fall for it.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Gina Miller.
Gina Miller at Brighton 2018,
Keith Edkins
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

A new free trade agreement with Japan has been announced this morning just as I told you it would be several weeks ago. It is estimated that this deal will boost UK trade with Japan by £15.2 Billion a year. 98% of trade with Japan will now be free of any duty. Will we be buying a lot more Japanese cars now? Will they be cheaper than cars from the EU.

A 77-year-old female vicar from Bristol has been arrested when she glued herself to the gates outside the House of Commons in an attempt to stop Bozzie getting in. The vicar, Sue Parfitt is an XR supporter. If my memory is right I think I wrote about her being arrested last year. She gave a press conference, with a 92-year-old man, pointing out how clever she was and wasn’t sorry in the slightest. Idiot repeat offenders like her deserve to go to prison as they haven’t learnt a lesson.

This lunchtime the Welsh have joined the rest of the UK in changing the coronavirus rules so that only six people can assemble indoors. However, they have joined Scottishland in not counting little children in the six. I wonder if Bozzie will now make a small change to the rules in England and discount the under 12s. I think that would go down well.

If you own a dog you need to be very wary of a new law. If your dog nips the postman you could be jailed for up to five years and the dog could be destroyed. The law has been changed after a postie lost the tip of a finger when he pushed a letter through the letterbox. The dog who bit him had never bitten anyone before and had been left home alone. The law applies to anyone delivering to a house such as a paperboy or a leafleter. To mount an effective defence you need to invest in a letterbox cage and keep your dog away from the letterbox by say locking it in the kitchen. This is an amendment to the Dangerous Dogs Act so you don’t have to worry if your cat hates postmen.

Has Bozzie locked up the Mutt?

If you are a Harry Potter fan there is a treat waiting for you at the Harry Potter Shop, Platform 9 3/4, at Kings Cross Station. They have just put Harry’s favourite tipple, Butterbeer, on sale. The specially made drink is butterscotch flavour, comes in a souvenir bottle and as it is non-alcoholic, you lot probably wouldn’t buy it

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Where to get your Butterbeer.
Platform 9 3/4, Shop London,
Martin Pettitt
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0


I nearly got the mouse this morning. It was strolling across the floor when I came in the office and I crept up a quietly as I could and got within a foot or so before it realised I was there. I expected it to run away, but it surprised me by running at me and went straight under me! As I turned around it disappeared behind the cupboard again. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

As I suggested yesterday several of this morning’s papers are starting to campaign for a change in the “Rule of Six” in England. They say they want to save Christmas by getting the Government to discount under twelves in the six allowed to meet at any time. I have heard Bozzie talking about this so there could be a change, he doesn’t want to be called the Grinch who stole Christmas.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Bye Bye Christmas Party.
Christmas party,
Paula Satijn
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

The AstraZeneca Coronavirus Vaccine trial has been cleared to restart straightaway. It seems that the reaction the person had cannot be put down definitely to the vaccine. I have been looking at an article on all the vaccines that are being developed around the world. There are supposed to be nearly 200 but only six or so have reached Phase 3 trials of which the AstraZeneca/Oxford one is thought to be the most developed. The UK Government has already contracted to buy 350 million vaccine doses from six different suppliers of which 100 million would be AstraZeneca. Of course, this assumes that they will be successful and receive a license but only about one in eight vaccines does. The other interesting thing is that AstraZeneca say that while there is a pandemic they will sell their vaccine at cost, about $3 a dose. However Moderna, whom the UK Government has not signed up, say they will charge around $36 a dose. In most cases, people will need two doses.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Are you ready for your vaccination?
Syringe and Vaccine,
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

Five civil servants in North Korea have been shot by firing squad for discussing and criticising Kim Jung-Un’s financial policies that have led to a stagnant economy. It seems they were at a dinner party when the discussion took place and the conversation was reported to the authorities. The five were summoned to a meeting before being arrested by the secret police, forced to confess and then executed. Their families were all sent to an infamous camp for political dissidents. I think Bozzie wishes he could deal with some of our civil serpents in the same way.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Off to form a firing Squad.
North Korea – Army and women soldiers,
Roman Harak
Licence CC BY-SA 2.0

I told you earlier in the week that in the event of Scottishland gaining independence from the UK the Shetland Islands intended to go for independence from Scottishland. Today they have been joined by the Orkneys who have said they don’t want to be part of an independent Scottishland. The Orkneys are particularly upset the Edinburgh is not forwarding to them their share of additional funding coming from London. This must be a kick in the teeth for Wee Krankie who thinks that everyone in Scottishland loves her when clearly there are a lot who don’t.

Diversity’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent has now racked up over 15,500 complaints to Ofcom setting a new record. However, it seems that Ofcom are reluctant to admit that Diversity broke the rules by politicising a verity show. Could it be something to do with BLM?

Time for dinner and then off to my Basket. I have seen a chicken in the fridge, I hope the Little Otter is going to do roast chicken for her and Bozzie’s dinner tomorrow and there will be some for me! I will report to you on Monday.

© WorthingGooner 2020

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