As Alistair Campbell once famously said, I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
And so, please post your nominations for the most colossal cunt of 2018.
As many as you like, with optional reason for inclusion, especially for those spunkbadgers who do not get the public acclaim their turdbuggary deserves.
Can you think of a Politician whose actions do not quite live up to the expectations one might have of holders of high office?
Perhaps a great artist, actor or journalist of our time has this year seen fit to spread his wisdom among the common herd to fertilise our barren minds and souls, much as the innocent new fourth wife of an Arab Princelet might irrigate the arid aisle of a first class 747 compartment when intimidated by the kaffir technology of the aeroplane vacuum-suction water-closet.
Have you been cuckolded by your neighbour, insulted by a civil servant, or merely irritated by an in-law? Has a former comrade in arms revealed herself to be a snake in the grass and broken your heart? Put them on the list.
Your hatred might stem from an irrational bigotry against nothing more than the colour of your nemesis’s skin, the expression of their gender, their religion or creed, or the polarity of their sexual orientation. No matter. We are a forgiving and inclusive bunch here and will stand in support outside the court in Wiltshire at your trial.
Perhaps we have a regular poster or commentator that some idiots here seem to like but you personally loathe (especially if they get more upticks than you). It’s time to put them in their place, and perhaps a few of their uptickers too (you’ve been counting).
Of course it might be that you have pretended to like them too and would prefer to create a sockpuppet to vent your spleen anonymously. Well I’m sure no-one will ever know … and you might be able to vote against them twice!
Has someone missed out buying a round at a GP meet-up, or tactfully evaded your clumsy drunken propositioning? Does someone never uptick you although you used to uptick them all the time? Perhaps you can think of no good reason. Well invent some lie then, and tramp their reputations into the shitty mud where they belong, the bastards!
After all, it is Christmas!
Name and shame them all in the comments below and at some point soonish I’ll correlate them into an official Wankpuffin of the Year 2018 voting list. I fancy a “GP” scoring style, or maybe someone has already done it and I’m too late. Cunts.
Gordon Brown PM
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The WOTYs 2018
Add your own nominations (use proper names), or vote for existing entries. Voting closes in one week.
Grand Unveiling of gilded Wankpuffin award results day. Handcrafted by 3D printer courtesy of Grimy Miner.
Swiss Bob, EJ, Grimy Miner, and Gordon Brown PM.