A bloodshot view through a puffy eye streaming with tears, usually of laughter, occasionally of anger. Rather reluctantly, I attended a Mothering Sunday lunch last week. I have nothing against mothers per se, let me [more…]
Ah mind tha otha day there we aw’ thott the stashun wiz gettin’ attocked wi’ wan o’ they deadly nerff ayjunts fae Rusha. It wis aboot hoff eight in the mornen an’ the Sarge decidet [more…]
Ah’ve bin stuck oot in f**kin’ Airdrie aw days cos that Toammy Roabertson c**t’s hingin’ aboot the court an’ the chief coanstabul is pure sh*tin’ hissel’ that he might stert committin’ fer right hate crimes. [more…]
Something truly remarkable happened last Sunday and it featured in every newspaper and TV station in the land. Under the circumstances I thought I would devote this entire section of Septic Eye to this extraordinary [more…]
I explained in the previous chapter how I arrived, through the medium of horticultural injury, at my unusual title for this collection of comments and ramblings. My demise at the hands, or should I say [more…]
Here ah am wurkin’ oan a f**kin’ Sundah waitin’ oan a bunch o’ wee Rangahs an’ Sellick c**ts tae get pished enough tae stert kickin’ the sh*te ootae each uthah in Gleska city sentah owwah [more…]
Ah mind the time ah pure foilt a fer right terrah attack. Me an’ wee Kenny the probashunah endet up bein’ sent oot tae Ibrox wan day cos some wifey cawed the wan oh wan [more…]
Aw us polis lads usually jist have oor bithdae parties in the stashun cos we cannae dae f**k aw these days in public withoot some wee c**t filmin’ it aw on some f**kin phone an’ [more…]
Ah reckon this Presudants Club pish has bin pure blown oot o’ aw pruporshun tae be honast wi yeez. Ah mind wan time the sarge took a load o’ us aw oot tae the curry [more…]
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