Larry’s Diary, Week Three Hundred And Thirty-Four

Monday

Good morning, my happy readers. It was still hot in London this morning when I popped out before breakfast. The heat was more bearable as there was a lovely breeze, and I hung about a bit in the shade, snarling at a big crow who dared to strut his stuff on the lawn. I got back indoors just as my duty feeder was throwing the empty Felix pouch in the bin, so my breakfast was nice and fresh and hadn’t had a chance to dry up and become crusty in my bowl.

The media is still full of Ann Widdecombe. What a horrible story. It now appears she had been dead for 24 hours before her body was found. I hear the first person arrested was a local handyman who had recently done some work in the house. But on investigation it was clear that he had a cast-iron alibi, and the police cleared him from the enquiry. Now we have news of a second arrest, this time a man from Rotherham, Yorkshire, hundreds of miles away. This poses a lot of questions, but as a law-abiding cat I will not be speculating on possible reasons. I will wait for more information from the police.

Still on the same subject, I see that in the case of both men the police were in a great rush to announce that they had arrested a white British man. OK, on the face of it that sounds like progress, in that the police have been very slow in the past to say who they had arrested or were looking for. But I feel strongly that if either man had been Black, Asian or Eastern European, we would not have been told.

I was delighted to join the Office England watch party on Saturday night. It was in full swing when I first arrived an hour before kick-off. I was made very welcome, and the food was much better than at the last match. I guess it was because it was an earlier kick-off and because it was the weekend and Legohead was away. There were the normal chicken legs, sausage rolls and cocktail sausages, but I even had a big prawn, that someone kindly peeled for me, a tiny bit of smoked salmon (not too keen) and a bit of hard-boiled egg (nice). But the important thing was we won, and I hear there is going to be another watch party on Wednesday. I wonder if Legohead will be invited.

News this morning that Olly Robbins, backed by his union, the FDA, has asked for a Judicial Review of the decision to sack him over the Mandelslime fiasco. In court documents he claims that there was no fair procedure, no process was followed, and that the PM didn’t have the statutory power to sack the head of the Diplomatic Service. He further says the reasons given for his dismissal were irrational and that he was not allowed, under the rules in force at the time, to reveal certain information about Mandelslime to the Government. This is going to call for a big bucket of popcorn.

It’s taken a long time, but the Government has finally announced that it is to ban the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps under new legislation. I’m not sure that we couldn’t have banned them before, but I suppose it’s better late than never. It seems that now, under the law, anyone helping or supporting the IRGC can be imprisoned for up to 14 years. The story is that the Government, in the form of the Home Office, thinks that the IRGC has been behind the recent rush of attacks on the Jewish community.

For my last story of the day, I hear that the Counter Terrorism Police are now leading the Ann Widdecombe murder inquiry. It is all a little strange that only yesterday the local police down in Devon were saying that there was no indication of terrorism in the case. Now, just a little later, we learn that there is a terrorism angle. As usual, the police are keeping the public in the dark and feeding us bullshit. I wonder what else is to come out.

Tuesday

Hi folks, not quite so hot in the capital city this morning, but it is still very warm. Today I hear that if England wins their semi-final, Legohead will be on a plane to Atlanta to watch the match as PM. Even though he is now a lame-duck PM, according to the timetable he has imposed on himself he will still be the PM on the day of the match. As I understand it, he will be back in the UK in time to hand his resignation to the King on Monday. Is this him planning one last snub to Mascara Man?

Last month’s retail numbers are out today, and it has been a better month for the shops, with sales up 2%. But it is the products that have been selling during the first heatwave that seem to have caused the jump. Apparently there were big increases in the sales of barbecue food, ice cream and paddling pools!

How intriguing. The man whom the police are questioning on suspicion of murdering Ann Widdecombe has now been arrested on terrorism charges. I wonder what the police have discovered in the search of the man’s home, computer and phone.

Tomorrow the England team will meet Argentina in the World Cup semi-final at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia. But due to a FIFA diktat, the stadium will have to be known as the Atlanta Stadium. Before the start of the World Cup, FIFA ordered that all stadiums had to lose their sponsors’ names for the duration of the tournament. Hence the MetLife Stadium becomes the New Jersey, New York Stadium, and the AT&T Stadium in Dallas becomes the Dallas Stadium. But the rules didn’t end there. All the stadiums have to lose advertising logos by covering them up or removing them. The Atlanta Stadium is the exception. It has a giant Mercedes star on its opening roof, and I hear the stadium has said that it is impossible to cover or remove the star without damaging the roof. Consequently, they have an exemption to retain the star.

The RAF took its SEPECAT Jaguar supersonic attack aircraft out of service a long time ago now, in 2007. Only one air force still uses them, India, and of course they have been suffering from a shortage of spare parts, which is not surprising for a plane that was last manufactured in 1981. So, India has been doing its best to buy up second-hand examples to use for spares. A few years ago, they purchased the Oman fleet of 20 Jaguars for spares. Today I learn that the RAF has handed over 13 aircraft from those it has in storage to India for spares. The end of the story I was reading says the RAF now has 42 still in storage, but none are flyable. The question I ask is why do we still have 42 45-year-old useless planes in storage?

I read that the petrol problems in Russia are getting worse. Hardly a day goes by without a Russian refinery being hit by Ukrainian drones. On Sunday, the Russian who uses the name “Drone Bomber” on the Telegram internet channel reported that the Ukrainians sent two waves of drones into Russia. The first daytime wave was 420 drones and the second night-time wave was 410 drones. In reply, the Russians sent 187 drones at Ukraine. But Drone Bomber reports that three Russian oil refineries were hit, taking the percentage of refineries out of production to around 45%. The petroleum problem is at its worst in Crimea, which is cut off from oil supplies by road and rail. In the last week or so, Russia has resorted to shipping oil to Crimea by tanker across the Sea of Azov, with interesting results. On Sunday, Ukrainian drones crippled 15 further ships, taking the total hit in the last eight days to 105. Most of these are tankers, but Ukraine aims its drones at the ships’ bridges so as not to puncture the hulls and spill oil. Amongst the other ships hit have been ferries, tugboats and grain ships.

I hear that First Bus has been awarded a five-year contract to run buses from all over Suffolk to the Sizewell C nuclear power station construction site. What I find interesting is that all 150 buses to be used will be supplied to First Bus by Sizewell C, and that they will all be either electric or hydrogen-powered with “zero emissions”. The buses are expected to be based at Ransomes Europark in Ipswich, where planning permission has already been applied for for hydrogen storage tanks and electric charging points. The whole operation is expected to create 400 jobs.

Wednesday

Good morning all. I stepped out of the front door after my Felix this morning and, my, what a rude shock I got. There was England flag bunting adorning the railings and two huge St George flags covering the windows either side of the black door. I’m not sure whether my favourite windowsill is going to be out of service. I do hope someone has told Lady Nugee, the flag hater, just to annoy her.

A bit more about the Ann Widdecombe murder crept out yesterday afternoon when it was revealed that she was the subject of a pre-planned and targeted attack. This is exactly the opposite of what the Devon and Cornwall Police told us over the weekend. It makes me wonder if the D & C Police were incompetent or were instructed by a higher authority to peddle the line that it was a burglary gone wrong. But the most interesting part of the latest Anti-Terrorism Police statement is that they are investigating a plot to attack other Reform UK politicians. On Sunday, Farage said he was worried that other Reform Party leaders could be in danger, but he was told by numerous Liebore politicians that he was showboating. They look a bit stupid now.

Further to my story of Russian fuel shortages, I hear that it is now affecting the military and that petrol and diesel are being rationed. Mobile air defence units that are supposed to defend the road transport trying to move fuel to and about Crimea are now not mobile, but sitting in fixed positions, and have been told they can only start their engines in a “combat” situation. In addition, transport drivers have been told that if they run out of fuel they must abandon the vehicle and run to the nearest ditch or air raid shelter, as it is only a matter of time before the Ukrainian drones arrive.

I understand that thunderstorms are possible in Atlanta this afternoon and evening for the World Cup semi-final. The storms are likely around the kick-off time of 3 pm locally (8 pm BST). American health and safety rules say that play can’t start, or must stop immediately, if lightning is detected within an 8-mile radius of a stadium, whether open or with a roof like this one. The regulations say that play can’t start or recommence until 30 minutes after the strike is detected. The teams will want a minimum of 15 minutes to warm up before a restart. So, get ready for a lot of waffle from the programme presenters.

For years Boeing has been building plane engine nacelles with chevrons on the trailing edge. It didn’t matter who the engine maker was, or the model of plane, it was the same for all. But why was Boeing the only plane maker to adopt this sawtooth design? It seems that Boeing did a bit of research and discovered that the sawtooth design gave a slight performance advantage on take-off. However, in cruise the opposite occurs, and they degrade performance slightly. Other plane makers realised that most planes spend a lot more time cruising than taking off, so they never followed Boeing’s example. Now Boeing has quietly decided to drop the chevrons.

The Glen Rosa, the second of the two Scottish “fiasco ferries”, has just left a period in dry dock, where it was being prepared for its upcoming sea trials. The ship has been in the water for so long that it was feared the state of the hull would interfere with the sea trials. The ship is currently eight years overdue and £100 million over budget. The dry docking has allowed all the underwater marine growth to be scraped off the hull, the hull to be inspected and repaired as necessary, before being repainted. In addition, the propellers have been polished, and the dual-fuel system has been commissioned. Everyone in Scottishland will be hoping that the ship clears its trials quickly so that this saga can be concluded.

It is hardly surprising, but with the recent spell of hot weather the water companies are rolling out hosepipe bans. This is becoming a regular event every summer and comes after an extremely wet winter. Which begs the question, what happened to all that water that fell from the sky? Well, it seems that we just don’t have sufficient reservoirs to serve our expanding population. So why haven’t we built more? The answer seems to go back to our good friend the EU. They didn’t exactly ban new ones, but they brought in exacting regulations, which we retained when we left the EU, that made it almost impossible, and very expensive, to build a new one. Projects were evaluated on how they impacted local rivers, ecosystems, water flows and biodiversity, which made securing approval for massive dam and reservoir projects highly complex, so the water companies just didn’t bother. But if you are on benefits and are paying the cheap WaterSure tariff, don’t worry, you are exempt from the ban and can still use your hosepipe.

Thursday

It’s a good morning to all my readers. Legohead got off lightly at his last PMQs yesterday. It was as if everyone had conspired to go easy on him. He was allowed to boast about his “achievements”, which always starts with Breakfast Club. But two things will forever live in my memory, him virtually running out of the chamber at the end, and the story of the Cabinet having a whip-round to buy him a leaving present. The best bit was that they were so unimaginative that they gave him a carriage clock, presented by the Tottenham Turnip.

A statistic emerged yesterday that shows just why Nigel Farage needs police protection. In the last six months he has received just short of 600 death threats. OK, most of those will be blowhards who are all wind and would never carry out a threat. But that is a worryingly high number. Say just 5% are genuine, that’s around one a day. But how do you know which one? Do you investigate all the threats to try to filter out the real ones? Or do you increase the level of protection? It seems that rather than increase Farage’s level of protection, the authorities chose to reduce it.

I read that Merseyrail has come into line with several other rail operators and Transport for London and banned the carriage of e-bikes, their batteries and bikes with electric conversion kits. Merseyrail has gone a little further by also banning e-bikes and the like from platforms, station buildings and station car parks. The reason is simple, they are a fire risk. I accept that e-bike fires are not common, but when they occur they are ferocious and erupt without warning. It is just too much of a risk having a runaway battery fire on a packed train in the middle of a tunnel.

I read that the police in Manchester have just arrested a sixth person in relation to the alleged election fraud in Tameside during the local elections back in May. I told you about these allegations a while back and told you the story as reported in a local paper, where Liebore supporters are accused of promoting two independent candidates who didn’t campaign but drew votes away from Reform. At least one of the independents had no idea they were standing as a candidate.

Today I hear that the Ginger Whinger has denied being ginger and said his hair is actually “Sunset Auburn”. Well, I have news for him, you are a natural ginger, as were many of your ancestors and relatives on the Spencer side. Although Mee-gain has kept their children’s faces out of the media, the backs of their heads are a different matter, and they both appear to have inherited his natural ginger locks. But what’s this rubbish about Sunset Auburn? It sounds like a colour of hair dye.

A great new policy announcement from our lame-duck Parliament this morning. They are implementing a voluntary night-time ban on social media for 16 to 18-year-olds. The ban will run from midnight to 6 am daily. What a total and utter waste of time and money. A “voluntary ban” is no ban at all, and it is only in the middle of the night when the people the ban is aimed at will probably be in bed asleep anyway.

On Tuesday I told you about the number of ships that Ukraine had claimed to have sunk in the Sea of Azov in the previous eight days. I didn’t mention the ongoing campaign yesterday because I would be told I was a Ukrainian propagandist if I told you every day about how many Russian ships had been disabled. But I happened to see a commercial marine ship tracker today and there were no ships crossing the Sea of Azov, not even one. There were a few in port, and quite a few in the River Don at the northern end of the sea. But then I read that Ukraine was claiming to have disabled another 20 ships overnight. Not in the Sea of Azov, it seems that the Ukrainians have switched to ships in the Black Sea and are now claiming to have disabled a total of 136 ships. They are 10 days into what is said to be a 40-day campaign.

Friday

Hi everyone. A very pleasant morning weather-wise when I popped out this morning, lovely and sunny but not quite as hot. The news has been released that Sad Dick has been promoted to a peer. I wonder what he will choose for his title. I favour Lord Khanage.

The Bill to nationalise British Steel has now passed into legislation and the country’s sole remaining producer of virgin steel at Scunthorpe is now publicly owned. In principle I agree that the country shouldn’t be without a domestic steel producer, but this is costing rather a lot of money. The last owners, the Chinese Jingye Group, said they were losing £700,000 a day, placing the blame squarely on the cost of energy. Virgin steel production needs coal, electricity, gas and water, and the Government’s Net Zero policy has massively increased their costs. But what I find intriguing is that in March the National Audit Office said Scunthorpe was costing the Government, and hence you taxpayers, £1.3 million a day. The two blast furnaces there are very old, dating from 1938 and 1954, and really need replacing with modern infrastructure. But will the Government be able to find the money to bring the facility up to date?

The Farnborough International Airshow starts next week and, as usual, the big manufacturers seem to have been holding back sales announcements, as there have been a lack of press releases in the past few weeks. However, this cat’s spies believe that Airbus is in the final stages of negotiations for two sales of the A330-900, also known as the A330neo. The two possibilities I am hearing are eight planes for Saudi carrier Flynas, taking their total orders to 38, and six more for German charter carrier Condor, which already has a fleet of 18. These are small numbers by comparison with what is usually announced at Farnborough, which is perhaps why I have heard about them.

I told you about the Virgin cruise ship “Scarlet Lady” and its problems over its Mediterranean charter by an American LGBTQ+ group. Initially it was banned from stopping at two ports in Turkey, which considered the passengers immoral. Then a similar thing happened with a scheduled stop at Alexandria, Egypt. Now I learn that at a stop in Crete a passenger has been arrested on drugs charges and thrown off the ship. Apparently he was found selling drugs to other passengers. On arrival in Crete, the Greek police boarded the ship and found both cannabis and cocaine in his cabin. The man was arrested and the ship sailed without him. I bet Virgin will be happy to see the end of this cruise and will think twice about whole-ship charters to LGBTQ+ groups in the future.

I have been reading a very interesting piece on the OilPrice.com website, which reports on the worldwide production of refined products and their costs. The article goes into some detail about the problems Russia is facing right now. The export of petrol was banned back in April when Ukraine first started drone attacks on Russian refineries. Next came exports of jet fuel on 9 June. Then, on 8 July, came the ban on exports of diesel. The numbers are quite incredible. In 2024 Russia produced 81.6 million tonnes of diesel and had an internal demand of 51 million tonnes. The surplus of 30 million tonnes was exported. So, the attacks have removed at least 30 million tonnes of diesel refining capacity. A similar sort of thing is happening with petrol, where some reports say that petrol production is now some 65% below demand and has led to a switch to importing petrol rather than exporting it. The word is Russia is looking to import 400,000 tonnes of petrol a month just to satisfy internal demand.

I hear that the Carnival ship Adventure missed a port stop at Mystery Island, Vanuatu, yesterday because it was delayed in sailing from Port Vila until after dark. Vanuatu has a law banning overnight travel from an island that is infested with coconut rhinoceros beetles to one that isn’t because the beetles only become active after dark. There is no suggestion there were any of the beetles on the ship, but Vanuatu doesn’t want to take any chances.

One of the nation’s biggest car park operators, Euro Car Parks, is being investigated by the Competition and Markets Authority over alleged unfair practices on filling station forecourts. The CMA says it has been receiving complaints from motorists who claim to have been fined while queuing for a pump or even while filling their tanks. In addition, the CMA is looking at the Euro Car Parks appeals procedure, which has been widely criticised.

Saturday

Morning, my friends. Not so scorching hot today when I went for my trip down the garden. It might be Saturday, but Legohead is here today, as is a big yellow moving van at the back door. The removal men are carrying out lots of boxes loaded full of Legohead and Victoria Sponge’s bits and bobs. I was thinking about leaving a going-away present in one of the boxes, but as yet I haven’t had the opportunity. Another PM arrives on Monday, and I understand he has a dog, a cross between a bichon frisé and a poodle, called Axel. With any luck he will leave him in No. 10 North, or I might have to teach him some manners.

I was delighted to hear that the police have charged the trans person who worked at Aberdeen University Library and said that he hoped Ann Widdecombe had died in agony, handcuffed to her bed. If someone can get a prison sentence for something she wrote on Facebook, thought about and then removed within an hour, it is obvious that this man in a dress should be treated in a similar manner. But I hear Police Scotland’s first response was “nothing to be seen here”, and it was only some days later, under considerable public pressure, that they did a U-turn.

Great British Railways is to roll out taller ticket barriers at a number of stations around England in an attempt to clamp down on fare dodgers. I suppose the idea is that some people jump the barriers, and taller ones are expected to stop them. But I always thought the biggest problem was tailgating, and tall gates aren’t going to make any difference to that.

When the Liebore Party came to power, part of their rhetoric was to do away with the House of Lords and replace it with an elected chamber to review and check legislation. But other than getting rid of most of the remaining hereditary Lords, many of whom supported the Tories or Liberal Democrats, they have done nothing to progress that ambition. In his resignation honours, Legohead has shown his true colours by appointing 26 new peers to an already Liebore-heavy Lords. The list includes 16 Liebore peers, five Limp Dumps, three Tories and two Crossbenchers, and not a single Reform nominee.

In 1648 France and the Netherlands agreed to settle a dispute over who ruled the island of St Martin, or Sint Maarten depending on whether you are French or Dutch, by dividing the island and running half each. There is no visible border on the island. Residents and visitors pass freely between the two administrations, which are not treated as part of the EU, but both do use the euro. But in nearly 400 years the two countries have never agreed where the actual border line runs. This has led to numerous disputes over where people pay tax and which authority they fall under. On Thursday, France’s National Assembly passed legislation ratifying a 2023 agreement on the route of the border. The agreement came about following Hurricane Irma in 2017, which wrecked 95% of the buildings on the island and made the two authorities work together. There is now only one obstacle to implementing the position of the border, the Netherlands still has to agree.

The rumours I hear say that Boeing may have a bit of good news to announce at the Farnborough Airshow next week. Apparently the smallest 737 Max, the -7, will finally be certified, and hundreds of ordered planes can begin production. I also hear that the 777X is nearing certification. But this gives Boeing a much bigger problem in that, dotted around its Everett factory in Washington State, there are a couple of dozen stored Boeing 777X planes that it has built during the eight years that the aircraft has been overdue. Once the plane is certified, all these stored aircraft need to be rebuilt to the certified standard before they can go to a customer. But if you were in the queue to purchase a 777X, would you be willing to accept a reworked eight-year-old plane? I would want a freshly built one, directly from the production line. I wonder how much this is going to cost Boeing.

How much money do the biggest cruise lines make? Well, both Carnival and Royal Caribbean are publicly quoted companies, so the numbers are available. But they need a little close inspection to realise just how profitable the business has become since recovering from not being able to sail during Covid. These numbers come from the 2025 accounts. For the biggest company, Carnival, revenue was $26.6 billion and profit was $2.76 billion, which equates to $72.9 million a day in revenue and $7.6 million a day in profit. The second largest company, Royal Caribbean, had revenue of $17.9 billion and profit of $4.29 billion, which equates to $49.1 million a day in revenue and $11.8 million a day in profit.

That’s me finished for another week, and it’s still very pleasantly warm here in the street. I am off for my nap on my favourite windowsill, now the flags and bunting have been removed. Chat to you all again next week.

 

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