A View From (The Tap Just By) The Greenhouse; Show Edition (Can I Still Say That)?

The middle of August and, as I type, we have 30mph winds and rain that could penetrate plate armour. I’m putting it down to “Global Warming”, I’m sure it has little or nothing to do with weather patterns, the position of The Gulf Stream, Solar Activity or any other naturally occurring phenomena. It’s all the fault of those pesky “men” and their desire to have a week in the sun, once every twelve months. Every couple of weeks or so I clean out my improvised water butts. I have two, they originally contained concentrated sheep supplement, but nobody ever throws anything away on a proper farm and they’re a good size for holding water. If they don’t get a clean out now and again algae can form as it’s almost impossible to avoid soil and the like finding its way into them. A bit of a faff, but well worth the effort to have clean(ish) water that isn’t too cold.

I know I’ve been banging on about capsicums, but it isn’t as if anyone takes any notice, is it? All of them are flourishing, but the cayenne chilies are really going for it. A couple are beginning to turn red, which is what we want and the plant on the left is a smidgen off being five feet high. I don’t know how much a chilli might be worth but, even given the jam I intend to make, there’ll be far more than I can use come the end of the summer. I’ve tried pickling in previous years, with mixed success, but I’m hoping the local veg bag people might take them off my hands, along with any spare long peppers, although, so long as they all ripen to red, I may try roasting and preserving them in brine or (what’s becoming an increasingly expensive commodity) olive oil.

Now for the interesting bit (ho-hum). The village show is a tradition that fell off the calendar some years ago, but was revived by a couple of stalwarts and now (in its 13th year since its resurrection) attracts entries in 66 classes for horticulture, photography, crafting, baking, preserving and handicrafts along with 17 classes for children to show off their creativity and imagination. Traditional country pursuits, including small shows, are often considered parochial by the more urbane in society, but their value to small communities can’t be overstated, long may they continue. If that makes me a parochial “Little Englander”, then so be it. The weather played a big part in the show this year, limiting entries (in the produce section) and I found myself exhibiting three different types of tomato against one other entrant. I took first and second and, although I had high hopes for the Tigrella’s they didn’t make the judges scorecard. Without wanting to appear churlish, I like to think the judge took a little bit of pity on my only rival, meaning no clean sweep for me!

An interesting section (if this kind of thing interests you) is the “flower in a vase with vegetable”. The shield awarded for winning this class has a family connection, so I was particularly pleased to take first for my oriental lily with kohl-rabi. My other entry took second place, a pink hydrangea with a large green pepper. Nobody said anything, but I think one or two of the other exhibitors in this particular class were more than a little surprised to see the pepper. If they want to see proof of it being my own produce they only have to make an appointment to visit the greenhouse, I’ll be happy to show them round.

Another class with few entries, even given the number of plants I have in, I had to have a good look around to find half a dozen reasonably evenly matched pods with decent sized peas inside. No matter, the judge chose this entry as the best in the (shrinking) vegetable section of the show. Quite a number (well two, anyway) of other exhibitors were interested in the variety, especially when they knew I’d managed to get this quality from my outside plot. The seed came from a horticulturalist near Preston, so it must be a quite hardy variety. I think I’ve found my “forever” pea. Hurst Greenshaft (wrinkled), if anyone’s interested in trying them out.

Again, not too much competition, but I think this is four years on the trot that I’ve won first for my red onions. The first time outside the greenhouse saw the crop more dependent on the vagaries of the weather, leading me not to tie the tops, as they were quite swollen having mostly “gone to seed”. This didn’t seem to bother the judge too much, but that maybe had as much to do with the sparseness of entries as anything else. If I want to hang on to my reputation for knowing my onions, I may have to up my game before next year.

Things actually growing inside the greenhouse are starting to do well and, in some cases, they’re also starting to come to an end. I’m not a big cucumber fan, but the buildings and maintenance department is, so we’ve produce quite a lot of them over recent weeks. Having toddled off to sunnier climes for a couple of weeks, he left me in charge of feeding and watering them, which I did. I also harvested half a dozen, all a couple of feet long, and, not knowing what to do with them, I donated them to the landlord of the local. I did think this display of largesse may well have elicited at least a half pint of Boltmaker or Loweswater Gold, but all I got was a (pleasant enough) “Thanks, we’ll pickle them”. I didn’t mind, really. If they generated a couple of extra quid, good luck to him. At least he’s managed to keep the doors open, which is a lot more than can be said for the previous incumbent. The aubergines are coming along nicely. I’m going to have a crack at making Baba Ganoush!

The strawberries haven’t been as prolific as I’d have liked, fruit wise, but they have put out lots of healthy “runners”. I’ve trimmed eighty of them back and put them in plugs. I’ll over winter them in the cold frame (along with another forty or so when I get round to it) and hopefully they’ll come out the other side ready to replace the plants in the beds, which, even given the weather this year, seem to be a little bit tired.

The cabbages are up and eaten (very nice they were, too) and I’m hoping to put some late brussel sprouts in. The first germination fell victim to a pest, but I’m hoping to get a couple of seeds going and the resultant seedlings planted out in time to provide the Christmas greens. God loves a trier, or so they say.

We’re almost two months into a Labour government now and all the signs are that it’s going to be a long and bumpy ride for most of us (doctors, train drivers and migrants excluded). So much has happened since the “landslide” victory, which saw them garner under 34% of the vote, ( interesting fact, they managed 40% under Corbyn). They took this as a mandate to make some very rash and clearly un-keepable promises around housing, to remove the winter fuel allowance from State Pensioners, to brand a vast number of the UK citizenry as “Far-Right” and to start sending people to prison for the new offences of “thought crime” and “posting on social media crime”. As the streets of Britain grow more violent, on what seems now to be an almost daily basis, space will be made in prisons (possibly by releasing violent criminals early) to accommodate those amongst us who want to have frank, honest and sometimes very forthright discussions on the more burning issues of the day.

One of the more fanciful claims, that Labour would “smash the gangs and stop the boats” has seen the arrival of almost 750 “small boat migrants” in the last seven days, with no sign, apart from any weather related interruptions, of this number slowing down any time soon. This is (most probably) one of the things that will soon only be discussed in hushed whispers and in most trusted of company, for fear of falling foul of broad interpretations of “hate speech” and draconian outcomes for those found (or forced to plead) guilty to “saying the wrong thing”.

Also, just this last week, it’s being mooted that misogyny (defined in the dictionary as dislike or contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women) is (possibly) to be treated as extremism or even terrorism for the purpose of the courts (courts that some would say have fallen in with the governments draconian measures all too readily). This begs the question; who defines the difference and who oversees the apportioning of “justice” for this (or any other similar) crime? Who makes the judgment as to whether ingrained practices (often with basis in religion) that treat women as less than men are either acceptably “culturally permissible” or unacceptably “extremely misogynistic”?  Given what we know about Labour and its collective inability to even define what a woman is, it isn’t hard to envisage a scenario where an actual adult human female tells a man larping as a woman that he’s actually a man, only to get rushed through the judicial system, ending up thrown in the slammer for life, for committing the crime of “extreme misogyny”. Yet, by the same token and also given what we know about Labour, a woman could be the victim of serial male abuse in a “cultural” setting, and have little or no redress. Maybe I’ve misunderstood both the wording and the intention, I really do hope so, but on current form neither of these scenarios seems to me to be too far fetched. We’re already seeing what appears to be the selective application of law, based on preconceptions being reinforced by the MSM. As I type this I’m not even 100% certain that I’m not breaking some as yet unwritten law, simply for having the temerity to question both the motives and the direction of travel of our new government. I didn’t have much faith in it from the off, so far, it’s confirming I was right. Freedom of speech is clearly under threat, freedom of thought can’t be too far behind it, 1984 was a novel, not a blueprint.

 

© Colin Cross 2024