with acknowledgements to Louis MacNeice’s ‘Bagpipe Music’
It’s no go Jeremy, it’s no go the commies,
But all we’ve got is a dodgy deal served up to us by Boris.
It’s no go the EU, after three years of bluffing,
But we’re paying 39 billion quid for absolutely nothing.
It’s no go Britain being a vassal Euro-dominion,
But we’re not allowed to catch our own fish without the EU’s permission.
Jeremy Corbyn’s promises were big and wide and lavish,
But we didn’t believe him and now the left is screaming in mortal anguish.
Jo Swinson was boasting that she’d repeal Article 50,
Her MPs fell like ninepins and she lost her seat in a jiffy.
Nicola Sturgeon was screaming about a second referendum,
But the Scots know they’d starve to death without the money we send them.
Boris said he’d get Brexit done, but that’s what they do to a tomcat,
Frankly we don’t believe that he has much of a taste for combat.
Carbon neutral’s the trending thing because CO2 is evil,
So you’d best stock up with plenty of coal before they make it illegal.
We’ve heard vague words about a plan to cut down immigration,
But our hospitals are at bursting point with millions of extra patients.
Still it’s no go the Labour plan to tax us till we’re croaking,
And it’s no go the Eurostate as the Lib Dems were hoping.
A manifesto’s just hot air, we don’t know what’s coming,
But if half a loaf is all we get it’s better than getting nothing,
And Boris may bring us sort of out unless his party wrecks it,
But what we want is a great big steaming full English Brexit.
Copyright © Tachybaptus 2019. All illustrations are in the Public Domain.
The Goodnight Vienna Audio file