Larry’s Diary Week Thirty One


Good Morning everyone and welcome to another week’s doings in the wonderful world of Westminster. It’s a wet morning in London today with some hail. That’s better than up north where there is a lot of snow. I don’t like snow; my poor little paws get cold and my undercarriage is a bit too near to the ground if it’s anything over a few inches deep. There’s been a lot of muttering and whispering going on in the kitchen over breakfast this morning . I don’t know what’s happening yet, but I will find out. It seems to be a big secret between Bozzie and the Little Otter, even the Dom’s out of it. I’ll have to interrogate the Mutt, the Otter is always whispering in his ear.

Bozzie was reading the Telegraph this morning, he moaned to Dom that it often seems to know what’s going on before he does. They’ve published a story saying we’re to start trade talks with the USA shortly that’ll proceed in parallel with EU talks. I hear Bozzie moaning all the time about EU time wasting and how unreasonable they are, so it could be true. We are due to publish our “red lines” for the EU talks this week, with talks starting next week. The EU is still going on about chlorine washed chicken but I hear that’s old hat in the US. Most US chickens are now washed in diluted lactic acid, which is allowed in the EU. It’s widely used for both beef and pork.

Lactic Acid Molecule
“File:3D Sodium lactate.png” by Claudio Pistilli is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 

Bozzie will get the Cabinet to sign off on the details of our EU trade talks tomorrow, the intention being for them to be published on Thursday. Bozzie and Dom want to lay down the law to the EU with a “don’t waste our time” warning, echoing chief negotiator David Frost’s speech saying it’s a Canada type deal or we walk away.

The ECJ has made a new interpretation of EU law which mean everyone will need insurance for ride on mowers, golf carts and garden tractors even on their own property. As this isn’t a new law, but a reinterpretation of an existing one, it means that under the Withdrawal Agreement we’ll have to go along with it. Bozzie is being pressed to change the UK law as soon as legally possible, otherwise the police will be knocking on the door of private houses and golf clubs demanding to see their insurance documents for their mowers and golf carts.

Hope He’s Got Insurance
“John Deere Zero-Turn Mowers EZTrak” by Charles & Hudson is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 

The God King President has flown over to India for discussion on a new trade deal and to sign a new arms deal. This is a big thing for him because he’s not keen on long distance air travel. There was an enormous crowd at the opening of a new 100,000 seat cricket stadium where he gave a speech. He really had problems pronouncing the names of some Indian cricketers

Another bit of news I saw on TV; in an interview the Abbotpotamus announced that she’d turn down a position in any new shadow cabinet and return to the back benches. Bozzie said that’s assuming she’d be offered a position, which is none too certain. I for one will miss seeing her making a fool of herself over anything and everything associated with numbers. I’ll also miss guessing which wig she’ll be wearing next. Talking about future shadow cabinets, voting finally gets underway today for the Labour Leadership Election. Stoma is the bookies favourite and Rebecca Wrong Daily the Momentum favourite. I fancy Nandy Pandy to spring a surprise as she’s popular with ordinary party members. It’ll be another whole month before we know the result.

I read on old Fat Boys’ site that the Global Warming Policy Foundation has calculated the cost of reaching the net zero carbon emissions target at over £3 Trillion or £100,000 per household. Previously the Committee on Climate Change had claimed that it would cost “around 1-2% of GDP by 2050”. When a freedom of information request asked how this had been calculated the CCC admitted that they hadn’t calculated the resources that would be needed each year. This means they were guessing and the Government, which by law has to work to what the CCC says, were totally misled over the cost, Not that you’ll read any of this in the MSM, or any comments on how much it would cost to implement the Labour plan of getting to net zero years earlier.


Bozzie was talking about a report out this morning  which claims austerity has caused a  slowdown in the increase of life expectancy and, in some places, a fall in life expectancy. Bozzie said it was a load of bollocks! The same slowdown has occurred in Portugal, Hungary, Spain, The Netherlands and France, none of which have austerity policies. He then said that the report’s author, Michael Marmot, is a far left activist who’s written numerous articles promoting left wing anti-austerity policies. I wonder if the report could be just one big fake.

Just how stupid are the lefties on twitter? Rishi Nic-Nak was pictured making tea for his office staff, holding a giant bag of Yorkshire Tea. This seems to have triggered the idiots and they’ve bombarded the makers of Yorkshire Tea with a stream of vitriol and proposed a boycott. How pathetic!

Yorkshire Tea
“Yorkshire Tea” by HowardLake is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 

That loser, the Teashop, has been having a gripe about how the UK leaving the EU will make it likely that Ireland’s contribution to the budget will increase. Tough, if the EU wants to go on spending a third of its budget on foreign aid and another third on agricultural subsidies, more fool them. But the EU’s problems go deeper than its inability to set a new budget. Political, social and full financial integration is a huge issue. EU fanatics have always wanted deeper integration, while we were still members countries such as The Netherlands and Denmark, who didn’t agree, hid behind us. Denmark has an opt out from the Euro, but it looks like they are going to have a fight on their hands to keep it. Among the items in the EU’s document on trade talks are many things that Bozzie will find impossible to accept. They don’t want us to have a Canada type deal, despite previously offering one, and they want their trawlers to continue fishing in our waters. Barnier says that without fishing rights there will be no agreement. Bozzie said “We’ll see about that”.

I read that foreign diplomats owe £116 million in unpaid London congestion charge and another £200,000 in parking fees. The Yanks owe the most, just over £12 million, but they’re refusing to pay. The claim that under the Vienna Treaty the congestion charge is a tax and as foreign diplomats they’re exempt from our taxes. Before I go to my basket there’s another Grenfell Tower scam story breaking tonight. A couple claimed they were living in the tower with a friend on the night of the fire. They claimed to be friends of Denis Murphy who died in flat 111 on the 14th floor. Following the fire they were accommodated free in a hotel and claimed £47,000. Today was the first day of their trial, where it was claimed they took advantage of the councils help first, ask questions later policy. I’ll keep my ears open for the trial result.


I woke up this morning to hear about a new Sky News/YouGov opinion poll on the Labour Leadership Election. Stoma is topping the poll for Leader with 53% of the vote and Angela Crayon tops the poll for Deputy Leader on 47%. If he polls over 50% at the actual election he won’t need to rely on second preference, he’ll be elected straight off. Rebecca Wrong Daily was second on 31% and Nandy Pandy trailing in third on16%. Being Wednesday it’s PMQ’s. Today was the usual mix of Corbyn idiocy and daft back bench questions. Corbyn called Bozzie a “part time Prime Minister”. He was very pleased with himself over that line and I bet that’s not the last time we hear it. As is becoming the norm, it was a walkover for Bozzie.

Barnier made a speech in Brussels this morning in which he repeated EU demands for the upcoming trade talks. He said the UK must accept “ground rules” to be able to access EU markets. Said ground rules are, in reality, actually EU rules that are designed to stop us from being competitive. Bozzie is quite adamant that we want a Canada style deal and will not be accepting any such rules.

“File:EU Chief Brexit Negotiator Michel Barnier (48942888691).jpg” by GUE/NGL is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 

The Mogg was pictured today posing with a big bag of Walkers Crisps and a tube of Pringles in a micky take over the Yorkshire Tea twitter “storm”. He wasn’t the only one, Robert Peston joined in, with a mocked-up package of “Peston Tea” in a picture similar to the one of Nic-Nak . Walkers Crisps saw the funny side and tweeted “Enjoying a cup of Yorkshire Tea”.

Corona virus is still causing lots of headlines with the worldwide number of reaching 89,000, with 2,000 deaths, mostly in China. The biggest outbreak in Europe seems to be in northern Italy where, to date, several 100’s of people have been infected and 11 have died. The good news is that infection rates in China appear to be reducing. Some “experts” think  it could take an epidemic 3 months to peak and another 3 months to decline. That seems to fit with what’s happening in China. The bad news is that infection numbers are going up in the rest of the world. It seems possible that it can be caught more than once. It’s been reported that in China some people who were cleared are now back in hospital. The Chevron office in London sent 300 staff home today after an employee who had been to a Covid-19 infected country developed “flu like” symptoms.

Tesco is to cut 1,800 jobs at some of their in-store bakeries. It says that sales of traditional loaves are falling. Some stores will continue to bake bread but others will just finish off pre-made frozen dough as people are switching to fancy foreign breads, flat breads and the like. Tesco says it hopes to transfer as many of the 1,800 to other in-store positions.


 It seems that just about every morning the news on the kitchen radio leads on what I must learn to call Covid-19. 2 more cases announced this morning, bringing the total diagnosed in the UK to 15 with 8 cured. One of the new cases had been in Italy and the other had been in Tenerife. One of them lived in Buxton where a school and a GP surgery have been shut down for deep cleaning after which both will reopen. It seems that one of the new cases was the parent of a primary school child who’d visited their GP instead of dialling 111 as over 7,000 in the U.K. have done before being tested. Covid-19 has now been diagnosed in every continent except Antarctica.

Bozzie’s plan for an EU trade agreement was published this morning. As widely expected he wants a Canada style agreement and has said that if substantial progress is not made towards this deal before June he will withdraw and start preparing for WTO rules on December 31st. The negotiating strategy includes –

  • Full UK control of state aid, worker’s rights, environmental standards and fishing rights.
  • Regulatory freedom outside of ECJ jurisdiction.
  • No extension of the transition Period past 31st December.
  • Progress with Canada deal by June or WTO preparations.
  • Reciprocal agreements on labour rights and the environment.
  • Full market access for trade in manufactured and agricultural goods.
  • Annual negotiations for access to fish in our waters
  • An agreement on financial services equivalence by June.
A Very Rough Sleeper
“2017_04_220006” by Gwydion M. Williams is licensed under CC BY 2.0 

The Court of Appeal ruled on a case about Heathrow expansion today. They blocked the building of a 3rd runway on environmental grounds saying that the Government failed to take into account their commitment to the Paris Accord. Of course, XR, Greenpeace and other similar groups were ecstatic. They don’t care that Heathrow is already Europe’s busiest airport and our biggest port, dealing with 40% of our exports by value and we will likely lose business to Paris, Amsterdam and Frankfurt. The Government has said that they will not appeal as it is a private scheme. Heathrow Airport Limited said they will appeal as an amended environmental statement would be simple to produce.

Some really good news later today, the Government has announced an extra £236 million to try to end rough sleeping. This is in addition to the £437 million already announced.

Kier Stoma was being pressed today to reveal all of his donors. At the moment he is the only leadership candidate not to have voluntarily published contributions to his campaign of over £1500. Stoma says he’s following the NEC rules and has submitted his list to Parliament for its scrutiny, it will be published next week. The 3 remaining candidates clashed this evening on Sky News over anti-Semitism. Nandy Pandy said there had been a “collective failure at the top of the party for years”. She pointed out that she’d spoken out on anti-Semitism when in the shadow cabinet, unlike other candidates she’d “resigned and not returned”. For the second day running The Mogg upset the woke crowd by joking about his car. This afternoon he told the Commons “We are the Lamborghini of Governments”. He continued “I’m quite tempted to say the Bentley of Governments, but my 1936 Bentley takes so long to get to 60mph that it wouldn’t necessarily be the right comparison.” It seems the real reason they got upset was that his car is worth £700,000 and that triggered all the REEEEE’s from the lefties.

Another fuss tonight about the actions of a Tory MP. James Grundy is accused of dropping his trousers at a private event held in a bar. It seems that he was encouraged to do so by a crowd of girls who filmed it. The event happened 13 years ago, 12 years before he became an MP. Everyone at the event was over 18, seems a lot of fuss about nothing to me.


Bozzie and Dom were talking this morning about a council by-election in the Hillingdon East Ward which is in Bozzie’s constituency. It’s a majority owner-occupied area and about one third BAME. The local Conservative council was party to this week’s action on Heathrow’s 3rd Runway. The Tory candidate cruised home with 68.8% of the vote with Labour coming second with 23.5%. This was a swing of 11% towards the Tories. Bozzie said he hopes it’s a pointer to the coming local elections.

That Greta Thunderbird (aka The Doom Goblin) turned up in a very wet Bristol this morning to speak to a group of school children “climate strikers”. She then led them on a march through the streets. Being a dedicated green person, she was picked up from the railway station in an electric car. She looked disgusted that it was a little Renault Zoe and not her preferred large Tesla. I hope she was equally disgusted by the mess the crowd made in the park where she spoke, it looked like the WW1 trenches when the crowd cleared.

The Doom Goblin
“File:Greta Thunberg 02 cropped.jpg” by Greta Thunberg 02.jpg: Anders Hellberg Derivative work: Dikson is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 

Bozzie was on TV tonight; he said that COVID-19 was the Governments top priority. I understand that he’s going to hold a COBRA meeting with ministers and officials at 10:30 on Monday following the news that the number of COVID-19 cases has risen to 20, the latest being in Surrey. This is believed to be the first patient to have caught the virus actually in the UK. A man in his 70’s has become the first to Briton to die. He caught the virus on board the Diamond Princess cruise liner which was quarantined in Yokohama.

Queniborough Cricket Club in Leicestershire has had a long running dispute with local residents over cricket balls damaging roof tiles and even hitting someone in their garden. There’s an 8-metre-high mesh fence separating the edge of the outfield from the resident’s gardens that was erected when the houses were built. The club however is liable for any damage caused by balls and has looked at several means of mitigation, including moving the square, moving to a new ground or installing a higher fence. The local council has agreed to grant planning permission for a new £40,000 15-metre-high, 110-metre-long fence, despite objections from residents. The council said the club had been there 20 years before the houses were and it was only fair. A case of a local council making a sensible decision for once.


Several big stories this morning which is unusual for a Saturday. Firstly, 3 more Covid-19 cases today bringing the total number in the UK to 23. The numbers are creeping up but they’re mostly related to one another and seem to be mostly confined to people who have returned from places where there’s been an outbreak. I never cease to be amazed by how many people seem to travel to places like Iran! I’m only a cat but even I can work out that the more people who get the virus the more people they’ll come into contact with and even more people will be infected. Until it’s confirmed that cats can’t catch it I’m going to be very careful who I associate with.

The head civil servant at the Home Office, Philip Rutnam, has resigned and threatened to sue the Government for constructive dismissal. Strangely his first action was to call in the cameras of the Bozzie hating BBC to make his allegations, knowing that it’ll repeat them unquestioningly. He’s claiming that he’s had to resign because Priti Patel was mean to him and asked him to do things he didn’t want to do. I understand that this man has a reputation for being useless, he only just survived being sacked after giving Amber Rudd a misleading brief on Grenfell that caused her resignation. He was previously at the Department of Transport where he messed up HS2. I’m sure it’ll come out as to just what’s been going on in the Home Office, but at the moment it looks like Rutnam is throwing his toys out of his pram.

Finally for today, I’ve at last found out what has been going on with all the whispering in the kitchen, the Little Otter is expecting and Bozzie has proposed to her. I understand the proposal took place in the Caribbean when they were on holiday over Christmas. That’ll put the Mutt’s nose out of joint, he’ll won’t be the apple of her eye when the brat arrives. I remember when David and his missus had a new brat, the noise of its bawling was worse than the Mutt makes. I wonder if I can get my paws on some ear plugs.

I Don’t Think These Would Fit Me
“20170513_084052” by zenm is licensed under CC BY 2.0 

I’m off for a snooze, speak to you all again on Monday.

© WorthingGooner 2020

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