Question Time 6th February 2020
Robert Buckland (Conservative)
Stella Creasy (Labour)
Sir Edward Davey (Liberal Democrat)
Rachel Shabi (Journalist)
Adam Pearson (Actor)
In keeping with recent tradition, your humble reviewer has never been to, through or even under this week’s Question Time venue. Given that Harpenden is halfway between Luton and Londonistan and since, on at least one night of the year, it contains Stella Creasy, frankly, he’s not complaining.
Although remainification has been relatively light on recent QT’s, our de-remainification warfare unit will remain vigilant. Elsewhere, two Continuity Remain themes have become apparent: ‘Trade Deal’ and ‘The Union’, neither of which the Remainers could give a stuff about and both of which are used only to knock Brexit. Will these be employed on tonight’s programme? We shall see.
As for Harpenden, it is part of Hertfordshire’s Hitchin and Harpenden constituency which voted 60-40 to Remain at the EU referendum in 2016. At the general election in 2019, it returned a Conservative MP, Abimbola Afolami. Neither sounding nor looking local, one wonders if ‘Bim’ is one of the Cambridgeshire or even Buckinghamshire Afolamis?
In the BBC blurb about the venue, they remind us that Eric Morecambe lived there. That would explain his affinity with Luton Town. Presumably, in the other direction, he commuted to the nearby BBC studios at Elstree. Speaking of the former, one good story before we continue. The supporters of an unfashionable northern lower divisions football team arrived at Kenilworth Road and spotted Eric standing at the player’s entrance, black-framed spectacles, cigar, shiny patent leather shoes, camel hair coat.
‘We left Carlisle at four o’clock this morning,’ they boasted to him.
‘I don’t blame you, gentlemen,’ he replied, quick as a flash.
Question one related to the automatic release of terrorist prisoners, no doubt regarding the terrorist attack in Streatham at the weekend.
Stella Creasy (Labour) mentioned ‘far-right’. There is a ticking timebomb, the prison service cannot cope, radicalisation must be disrupted, however public protection cannot be done on the cheap.
Robert Buckland (Conservative) claimed that the problem was caused by a small number of people and the solution was for a large number of agencies to work together. He told us that we were world leaders in this kind of thing and that people came from all over the globe to learn from us. Money well spent by places such as Czechoslovakia, Poland and Latvia, as they don’t seem to have such problems. I can’t think of another reason why not. Can you?
Ed Davy (Libdem) has discovered a magic dust that can be sprinkled onto jihadi’s which turns them into the likes of Ed Davy. Radicalisation is caused because of the way that prisons are run, not because they’re full of Muslims. More magic dust required. Huge applause from those in the audience who are deluded.
A contributor from the audience then blamed Brexit distraction.
Now, Rachel Shabi (Journalist) is an interesting case study. She is Jewish and her family are originally from Iraq. My spies tell me that between the wars, about one-third of the population of Baghdad were Jewish. I’ll wager today that the proportion is zero. In her native London, she needs the protection of a Jewish ‘neighbourhood watch’, Shomrim, as well as the Metropolitan police. When she is in Israel, and she often is, she will be bombarded by missiles from neighbouring states.
According to Rachel, Muslim terrorism is caused by, cuts, cuts, cuts, the government and the government again. More magic dust required.
Adam Pearson agreed with everything previously said and I think mumbled something about Brexit. There are social factors involved, prison makes things worse. It is worth pointing out (and not necessarily only for those of you who don’t have a television set) that Adam Pearson, through no fault of his own, and through a terrible accident of birth, is from Croydon.
A contributor from the audience claimed childhoods filled with hate could be countered by teaching equality, values and anything else that gave this contributor a nicey feeling. Some more ingredients to stir into this magic dust, no wonder it appears to be in such short supply.
There is a consensus that the solution to ‘radicalisation’ is based upon initiatives, rather than the use of force. That consensus is wrong.
Might this humble reviewer suggest that there is no guarantee that different cultures can co-exist peacefully in the same place at the same time? That we are at war with Islam, always have been and always will be? That the only consideration in war is victory, and that if you’re on the watch list then you should be on the plane back to your country of origin.
Question two asked about incentives that could be attached to the 2035 fossil fuel car ban.
The panel in general, and Rachel Shabi in particular, were keen on a fifteen-year Stalinist type Plan. She is going to build giga factories. There is a climate crisis. She is even going to build a carbon-capture giga factory up the north. What on earth is one of them? People will not switch, the Giant State will do it for them. Ed Davy chipped in to mention the unused wind power in the middle of the night, and took the credit for it, as he’d been in the coalition’s Ministry of Energy.
As I type (trust me, it’s the middle of the night), wind power (via Gridwatch) is at 13% of our electricity demand. Ed’s electric car will get him one-seventh of the way from Harpenden to his South London mansion. He can push it for the rest of the way.
Climate derangement syndrome was unchallenged by the chair or audience. 0.04% of the earth’s atmosphere is CO2. A fraction of that is caused by human activity and a fraction of that occurs in the UK. Banning fossil fuel cars will make no difference at all.
Adam Pearson touched upon the point. There aren’t enough charging points. If EV’s aren’t as cheap or convenient as fossil fuel cars then people won’t choose them. It’s not about choice (or carbon), Adam, it’s about a particular type of authoritarian globalisation.
Did somebody mention ‘derangement syndrome’? The next question asked if The Donald had been helped or hindered by impeachment.
Trump has become Teflon, nothing sticks on him, whilst simultaneously being the Mud Monster, claimed Adam Pearson. If you throw mud at him, it just sticks and makes him bigger. Adam seemed baffled by this, rather than hysterical. Trump Derangement Syndrome rating 4/10.
Trump’s chances of success in November have increased, according to Ed Davy. The Donald had also increased instability in the Middle East (by defeating ISIS?) and in North Korea (by keeping Kim Il Jong in his box?). TDS rating 6/10.
It was right to impeach, even though he was never going to be impeached. It wasn’t a real trial because there was no evidence. Those of you without a TV will have to picture Rachel Shabi getting a bit triggered. TDS rating 7/10.
Stella Creasy noted the normalisation of politics without rules and warned that Boris would be the same. She mentioned corrupt dealings with the Ukraine but omitted to mention that that was the Biden’s. TDS rating 6/10.
Donald is remote from ‘The Hill’, complained Robert Buckland. This reviewer wonders if Donald’s supposed to spend less time with the taxpayers and voters and more with cranks like Pelosi and unpleasant loons like ‘The Squad’? Buckland did, rightly, note that the Democrats are a shambles.
Creasy interrupted, not at all happy with her 6/10, she shouted ‘minorities’ and ‘World War three’. Fair game to her, it’s an 8.
Question 3, was more of a fashion statement. Literally. A posh totty showing a bit of shoulder (happening upon the hall, on her way home after being banged over a wheelie bin, outside one of those posh houses where the Morecambe’s lived?) asked, ‘Am I improperly dressed?’ Presumably a reference to sad old slapper Tracy Brabin, who couldn’t be on tonight’s show because she’s the last single mum, propping up a bar, in a working men’s club, during ‘Grab a Gran Night’ in Batley.
Stella Creasy, black frock with stars on (like a witch), said that women cannot win and mentioned World War Three again. Unlike Sir Ed Davy, who wins every time because he doesn’t wear a tie, ding-dong, the rascal, Matron! He blamed the right-wing and told us that it has to stop.
Adam Pearson reminded us that merit lies in what is said and how people behave, not upon appearances. He went on to say that he has an off-the-shoulder black thing too, but he doesn’t often wear it. We have a winner.
A contributor from the audience announced that they’d all been told by the BBC to turn up in smart casuals and that all the ladies on the panel had dressed in a particular way. The said ladies then began to squabble with each other about their dresses and talk over each other, which made it difficult to take them seriously.
A very plain girl in the audience (perhaps just wearing the wrong clothes?) said something but I wasn’t taking any notice of her. Then a stunning black woman, dressed as Wallace Simpson spoke, but my eyes were out on stalks and my jaw had dropped so far that my ears had shut (while I dribbled onto the carpet). Women use appearance as a weapon of war. Us poor men have no chance.
Creasy mentioned her wimple. No, I couldn’t see it either. Would it be under the table?
Buckland said that he hadn’t noticed Tracy’s dress as he’d been looking at her ankles, that needed to be bound nice and tight. Quick, change the subject.
The final question asked if Boris should talk to all of the press or just the ones he likes. Journalist Shabi became triggered bigly and snarled. Ministers were banned from Today. Buckland said he loved Today but Andrew Neil’s confrontational style exhibited a ‘what’s the point?’ response from politicians. Creasy wanted a vibrant (lefty Tory-hating) media. Adam Pearson noted that anyone can be nice to their friends. Davy stood up for the BBC.
And that was it. Little mention of ‘Trade Deal’, none of ‘The Union’. I shall have to, like Tracy Brabin at a ‘Grab a Gran Night’, try a bit harder next week.
© Always Worth Saying 2020
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