Arts
This Septic Eye, Ch 5
I find myself increasingly confused as to the point of TV commercials nowadays or even what the actual product is. Back in the old days, we were shown a triangle of Dairylea and a child [more…]
Satire
Arts
This Septic Eye, Ch 4
A bloodshot view through a puffy eye streaming with tears, usually of laughter, occasionally of anger. Rather reluctantly, I attended a Mothering Sunday lunch last week. I have nothing against mothers per se, let me [more…]
Authoritarianism
The threat fae Russha
Ah mind tha otha day there we aw’ thott the stashun wiz gettin’ attocked wi’ wan o’ they deadly nerff ayjunts fae Rusha. It wis aboot hoff eight in the mornen an’ the Sarge decidet [more…]
Authoritarianism
The Count Dankula Trial
Ah’ve bin stuck oot in f**kin’ Airdrie aw days cos that Toammy Roabertson c**t’s hingin’ aboot the court an’ the chief coanstabul is pure sh*tin’ hissel’ that he might stert committin’ fer right hate crimes. [more…]
Arts
This Septic Eye, Ch 3
Something truly remarkable happened last Sunday and it featured in every newspaper and TV station in the land. Under the circumstances I thought I would devote this entire section of Septic Eye to this extraordinary [more…]
Arts
This Septic Eye, Ch 2
I explained in the previous chapter how I arrived, through the medium of horticultural injury, at my unusual title for this collection of comments and ramblings. My demise at the hands, or should I say [more…]
Literature
Rangahs an’ Sellick
Here ah am wurkin’ oan a f**kin’ Sundah waitin’ oan a bunch o’ wee Rangahs an’ Sellick c**ts tae get pished enough tae stert kickin’ the sh*te ootae each uthah in Gleska city sentah owwah [more…]
Literature
Fer right terrah
Ah mind the time ah pure foilt a fer right terrah attack. Me an’ wee Kenny the probashunah endet up bein’ sent oot tae Ibrox wan day cos some wifey cawed the wan oh wan [more…]
Literature
Bithdae Parties in the Stashun
Aw us polis lads usually jist have oor bithdae parties in the stashun cos we cannae dae f**k aw these days in public withoot some wee c**t filmin’ it aw on some f**kin phone an’ [more…]