Ah’ve bin stuck oot in f**kin’ Airdrie aw days cos that Toammy Roabertson c**t’s hingin’ aboot the court an’ the chief coanstabul is pure sh*tin’ hissel’ that he might stert committin’ fer right hate crimes. [more…]
Something truly remarkable happened last Sunday and it featured in every newspaper and TV station in the land. Under the circumstances I thought I would devote this entire section of Septic Eye to this extraordinary [more…]
I explained in the previous chapter how I arrived, through the medium of horticultural injury, at my unusual title for this collection of comments and ramblings. My demise at the hands, or should I say [more…]
Here ah am wurkin’ oan a f**kin’ Sundah waitin’ oan a bunch o’ wee Rangahs an’ Sellick c**ts tae get pished enough tae stert kickin’ the sh*te ootae each uthah in Gleska city sentah owwah [more…]
Ah mind the time ah pure foilt a fer right terrah attack. Me an’ wee Kenny the probashunah endet up bein’ sent oot tae Ibrox wan day cos some wifey cawed the wan oh wan [more…]
Aw us polis lads usually jist have oor bithdae parties in the stashun cos we cannae dae f**k aw these days in public withoot some wee c**t filmin’ it aw on some f**kin phone an’ [more…]
Ah reckon this Presudants Club pish has bin pure blown oot o’ aw pruporshun tae be honast wi yeez. Ah mind wan time the sarge took a load o’ us aw oot tae the curry [more…]
Jordan Peterson, Cathy Newman, it’s all been said hasn’t it? Well, apparently not, at 4.55am this morning a man crashed through my balcony window, he was dressed all in black, he wore a balaclava and [more…]
(This article and the previous part 1 are meant to be a bit of fun, and not to be taken seriously.) Part one looked at the need for memes and how they can be used [more…]
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