The Conservative Party, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Conventional wisdom used to be that Labour’s scandals always involved money and Tory scandals were always of a sexual nature. The last few decades have blown that out of the water. All sides, including those paragons of virtue the LibDems, now involve everything imaginable. A word of warning regarding the Tories. The present crop are more like LibDems than Tories.
I suspect the financial aspect was down to the fact that Labour MPs used to emerge from the working class and therefore weren’t rich, or at least most of them. They therefore had no idea how to organise a scam and just dipped their fingers in the honey pot. The Tories on the other hand were generally wealthy and did have experience of finance. The ensuing corruption was probably equal but the Tories just covered it up better.
We come to the list of Tory miscreants. I originally had a list of around 40 or so. That was too many so it had to be whittled down one way or another. Some articles may feature more than one tow-rag and some of that ilk may fly under the radar. Having delved a bit deeper I may have more than 40 now, they are rascals aren’t they.
One of the biggest scandals is probably John Profumo. A fool if there ever was one gallivanting around with young tarts. This was in the early 60s when satire was breaking out all over and the likes of David Frost were making a name for themselves. He, Frost that is, always struck me as being just as slimy as those he mocked and sometimes exposed.
Seeing as the Tories were in power much longer than Labour in the last 100 years or so they will logically be involved in more scandals. There is a long list to whittle down and perhaps amalgamate some unlikely bedfellows. I will avoid things like the Suez scandal because it wasn’t just one MP on the make, rather government policy that was under scrutiny.
The last few decades have seen an alarming rise in the number of scandals, perhaps this has been caused by an influx of MPs who are essentially LibDems, the perverts party, though when you look at the latest incarnation of the Green Party you have to wonder if they are making a bid at taking over that particular mantle.
I also avoid Ted Heath, probably our first obviously gay Prime Minister. The few allegations I have seen are stomach turning and he would have been right at home on Jeffrey Epstein’s island though any girls would have been safe enough. He was obviously protected by TPTB because the reptiles in Fleet Street kept well away from delving into his personal life. I don’t even remember many innuendos, perhaps Sir Gerald Nabarro, a Tory MP himself, came closest when referring to the lifelong bachelor.
I also keep away from Maggie, I don’t think she was on the make and I don’t think she was up to any hanky panky. This ought to be obvious from her reference to WIllie Whitelaw when she opined that everyone needed their Willy. I think she was just a bit naïve rather than channeling her inner Nigella Lawson. The closest she came to financial woes was via her son Mark. He was always looking for a quick buck. We all remember the coup attempt in Africa and the many unsavoury types involved in that. I would blame Dennis there, he should have pointed him in the right direction. Maybe he tried but I would not like to say one way or the other.
CallMeDave did more to destroy the Party than anyone else. His hero was Satan Blair and with his traversing the same path we ended up with a second LibDem Party instead of a Conservative one. No wonder the coalition worked so well, they were both really the same party. He managed to keep away from any juicy scandals, the closest we could get would be his father in law’s wind farm(s).
In the early part of the 20th Century when the Liberals were still a big Party they were well up in the corruption stakes but their sins will have to wait for the LibDem list. By the time I finish this shower the Greens may well have queered (see what I did there) their pitch enough to have their own list.
Anyway, here is hoping you enjoy some Tory misdemeanours and if I miss any you can always point them out in the comments though seeing as nobody reads them it all seems a bit pointless.
© well_chuffed 2026
