Larry’s Diary Week Eighteen

Monday

Good morning happy readers, I think it’s going to be another fun week here in Downing Street. Bozzie is off to welsh Wales this morning, I think he’s hoping to pick up seats there. It’s been an unusual Monday morning with nothing much happening here on the estate. I did catch sight of that Mr B Liar on the TV this morning, I must admit, he is so boring he sent me to sleep. When I stirred, that Chuck Up bloke was on, rambling on about Bozzie being in league with Trump, enough to send me back to sleep. When I finally woke up it was just before noon and I was in time to see who was on Politics Dead. Nothing very exciting on there either. Although I did see some fat Labour woman making a fool of herself trying to explain why Labour’s £58 billion for WASPI women was not in their manifesto or costing book.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
Mr. B. Liar
“025 tony” by Vertigogen is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 

During the afternoon I saw Bozzie on the TV at somewhere call the Welsh Show Ground. He was with some great big cow thing and another animal that I think they call a sheep. It was all curly, just like Bailey and Bozzie was giving it a haircut. Later, Andrew Neil interviewed that Scottishland woman, Wee Krankie. He had her wriggling and squirmy on the conditions she set 3 years ago for a second referendum, then on re-joining the E.U. and the currency Scottishland would use. She really struggled to give any sensible answers on the mess the SNP has made of the NHS north of the border. Right, I’m off to see what’s for dinner.

Tuesday

This morning Bozzie’s up early again as he’s off to Scottishland for the launch of the Scottishland Tory Manifesto. I expect to hear more about that later. The Tramp’s mob were under attack again for anti-Semitism. The leader of the Jewish people, the Chief Rabbit, has questioned the Tramp’s moral right to be PM when he hasn’t dealt with this problem within Labour. Why the Jewish People have a Chief Rabbit as their leader is beyond me. The Archbishop of Canterbury has backed up the Chief Rabbit and agreed that the Tramp needs to do more on anti-Semitism. It seems funny to me that the Tramps supporters have been very busy proving just how anti-Semitic they are by accusing the Chief Rabbit of being a Mossad agent.

WorthingGooner, Going Postal
The Chief Rabbit
“Rabbits n Stuff” by picto:graphic is licensed under CC BY 2.0 

That silly old fool, Lord Heseltine, has been telling Tories to vote for the Limp Dumps. How can he continue to be a member of the Tory party and encourage people not to vote for them? If he was in the Tramps mob he would have been out on his ear like that Campbell bloke. Labour launched a “Race and Faith Manifesto” today. Under the manifesto children are to be taught how evil the British Empire was. Journalists were invited and told that The Tramp, Butler and the Abbotpotamus would all be there but there wouldn’t be any questions, however, the event started late with the Tramp missing. He eventually turned up over an hour late and no excuse was offered. The Tramp reacted to the Chief Rabbits criticism this afternoon by declaring that there is “no place for anti-Semitism in the Labour party”. Which would be good, if he had not today invited the Hamas Supporting, Tory Hating, anti-Semitic, Muslim Council of Britain to visit him in No 10 should he become PM.

Bozzie’s Scottishland manifesto is very similar to the main Tory manifesto but it does have one or two extra bits for things that are devolved. Some of the key points are NO second independence referendum, a review of Scottishland alcohol prices to protect the whisky industry, cut corporation tax from 28% to 19% to match England and an extra £2 billion from the U.K. Government for the Scottishland NHS to match extra English NHS funding.  The Tramp is to be interviewed by Andrew Neil later, I promise I’ll try to stay awake, but I may have to write it up tomorrow.

Wednesday

Morning folks. I watched the Tramp get mullered on the TV last night, it wasn’t a car crash, it was much worse than that, Neil had him on the defensive from “Good evening Mr Corbyn”. Whether it was the money for WASPI women or his lack of knowledge on how his tax plans would affect lower rate tax payers the Tramp was stuffed at every stage. It was most enjoyable. The score so far is Neil 2 Politicians 0.  The MSM have been pushing the Tramps “car crash” all morning. He had a press conference where he tried to turn the discussion to the NHS and his often-repeated claim that the Tories will sell it off to US big pharma. He waved about a number of documents, he said they were the unredacted versions of ones he had produced during the head to head with Bozzie and claimed they proved what he was saying was true. Strangely all the experts interviewed on TV said they proved no such thing. They were all preliminary discussions undertaken by Liam Fox’s team before Bozzie became PM. Then the Tramps bodyguard, the Uphill Gardener, refused to let him answer questions on anti-Semitism.

Another day when Bozzie was up early because he was off on a trip. This time it was Devon and Cornwall, where he needs to keep hold of seats against the Limp Dumps. I saw him visiting yet another Hospital and a Clotted Cream factory, I do hope he brings a sample home from the factory tonight. I’m willing to give it a very full test.

Making Yummy Clotted Cream
“Making clotted cream: stirring the cream” by litlnemo is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 

Wee Krankie launched the SNP manifesto this morning. I watched a bit of it on TV, it was really boring, she’s really an awful public speaker. From what I heard all she wants is more money from England, an independent Scottishland, more money from England, to join the E.U., more money from England, no Nuclear weapons in Scottishland, more money from England, more devolved powers, more money from England and, did I mention, even more money from England.

Thursday

The YouGov MRP poll hit the media late last night and I’ve been hearing about it all this morning. Bozzie’s delighted with the prospect of a 68-seat majority, but has been telling anyone who will listen that they mustn’t get complacent. The Limp Dumps seem to come out of it pretty badly, not gaining any seats, so they’re changing their campaign. Jugs is not “the future PM” any more, they’re play down the revoking of article 50 and playing up a second referendum. Labour are having a meeting today to decide on their change of tactics, they’re already moving activists into the leave voting seats they may be in danger of losing. Labour’s big announcement today is for 10 new national parks and to plant 2,000,000,000 trees by 2040, which they say they will allow £2.5 billion for. Where is this in the “fully costed” manifesto? This costing has clearly been done by the Abbotpotamus. Native trees cost about £3 each when bought in bulk, so that’s £6 billion for trees alone. Add in the other costs; buying land, labour to plant them, people to look after them. Where are they going to be planted? How much space will 2 billion trees take up? Will they be fighting for space with the promised new houses, solar farms, wind turbines and nuclear power stations? Do they not realise a commitment to plant 270,000 trees a day is an impossibility?

The Abbotpotamus’s New Pocket Calculator
“An Abacus Being Used to Count Up” by itnmarkeducation is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0 

So many questions around this policy; do we use these trees for anything? For building timber frame houses, do we start a domestic pulp paper industry or do we just build lots of tree houses? Will we bring back wild animals to live in these new forests, polecats, wild boar, pine martens, wolves? It could be dangerous, going for a walk in these new Forests.

Friday

Bozzie started the day off by doing a phone-in on LBC with Nick Ferrari, I wonder if that’s his real name, it seems a bit odd to be named after a make of car. I thought he did pretty well, certainly better than the Tramp did the other day, but Mr Motor Car was a bit naughty asking about his children and if he and the Little Otter were going to have any.

Mr. Ferrari
“DSC00303” by Vasto is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 

A bit later Bozzie was on TV again, but this time with the Cove and that Labour lady who was on the Leave campaign. They were all pushing the “vote Tory to get Brexit done” line. Bozzie talked about things that he would do when we leave that the E.U. stops us from doing now. The only ones I can remember are State Aid for ailing firms and banning the export of live animals. There’s another set piece debate on TV tonight, this time from Cardiff. Bozzie and the Tramp both said they had better things to do ages ago. There was another terrorist attack in London this afternoon so perhaps it’s a good job Bozzie wasn’t going as he would probably have to have dropped out. The Tories, Labour and the Limp Dumps have all stopped canvassing in London for the evening. The debate itself, with seven participants is a bit of a bun fight. I’m not enjoying it so I’m off to see what’s for dinner.

Saturday

Saturday has become the quietest political day of the week for the second week running. Might be something to do with yesterday’s events stopping canvassing in London. Bozzie was rushing around a bit as he was off with Pretty to meet Sad Dick and the Lesbian Chief Cop to visit the site of the yesterday’s terrorist attack. He wasn’t hanging around after the criticism he got about not being quick enough to visit the Yorkshire flood victims. Bozzie also called another COBRA meeting. I’m keeping clear as I don’t like snakes. I saw one once, before I was adopted by that nice David. It was horrific with a forked tongue that it kept flicking around.

I Don’t Like Snakes
“Marrakech 054” by Karmor is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 

The BBC was saying that it wouldn’t invite Bozzie to be interviewed by that leftie Marr until he agreed to be interviewed by Andrew Neil. Well Bozzie has called their bluff and the BBC has backed down, saying it’s in the public’s interest for him to be interviewed by Marr. He’s on tomorrow, I just might have to watch. I read that lots of Labour Party workers are getting the sack after the election. Why I wonder, is it to save money or is it because Labour are so worried about losing lots of MPs on 12th December they don’t think they’ll need so many people to run the Party! So much for workers’ rights.

Saturday night’s opinion poll night. They’re quite varied, they all give the Tories a lead in a range between 6% and 15%. I find it very strange that those with the lowest Tory lead are always in the Labour supporting papers. On the latest poll tracker, since the election was announced, the percentage saying they will vote Labour has gone up by 6%. However, oddly so have the Tories. One of the polling companies has been looking at some individual constituencies and they predict that both the Grievous and Gawky David traitors will lose their seats to regular Tories. Will I have to do a quick report tomorrow as Bozzie is on Marr? I’ll watch, if anything interesting happens I might make the effort.

Sunday

A very short diary entry today. I caught Bozzie on Marr and thought that he was never really bothered by the questioning. The same pattern was repeat throughout the interview. Marr asking a question, Bozzie starting to answer and Marr interrupting with another question. Marr wasn’t listening to the answers, just asking follow up questions, if he thought the answer wasn’t the one he wanted he moved on to the next question on his clipboard. At one stage I thought he was going to lose his temper. Now I’m off to nap in Bozzie’s chair until he gets back from the BBC studio.

My Sort of Comfy Chair
“New Tailored Covers” by the other william skinner is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0 

 

© WorthingGooner 2020
 

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