“I was clearing out the attic in Christopher Robin’s house the other day”, said Pooh, “And I think I may have made a very exciting find!”
Piglet rolled his eyes at the thought of Pooh undertaking anything remotely like housework, him being a bear of very little hygiene and all, but his interest was piqued so he asked, “How come you were up there in the first place?”
“Well”, said Pooh, “CR said there were rumours in his family that William Shakespeare had been passing the house once and he was caught short, so he asked to use their earth closet. While he was communing with nature, he scribbled down a few odes and sonnets, as you do, and the family kept them for posterity. CR said they’d be worth a fortune, if we could find them. Lo and behold, I found this behind an unregarded Jacobean court-cupboard of the later period, with possible Georgian repairs to the inlay.”
“Losing the will to live here, Pooh”, said Piglet, “Read it to me”.
“Hem hem,” said Pooh, “Ode To a Dark Lady by WS
Dark Lady, I am puzzled at thy gall,
It seems one rule for thee, but not for all,
As off to private school thy princeling goes,
No failing school for him, with all its woes.
Ever one to call out “racist scum!”
A stranger to addition’s final sum,
But when you curse at those of paler hue,
Be sure they wish the same ordure on you.
Oft weasel words will sudden homewards come,
To turn about and bite thee on the tum-te-tum-te-tum.
“Could do with a bit more work”, said Piglet, “But I doubt it’s by Will”.
“Why not?” asked Pooh.
“Will loved his Dark Lady; WS obviously can’t stand this one”.
© Madam Revenant 2018