Cooking with JWP – a series in thirty pieces

No 1: Tastes of the world - Homemade Minestrone Soup

Judas was paid, Going Postal
Carrots – the food of lovers

Stock: It helps if you have recently had a chicken dinner after which you need to boil your bones. I suggest adding an onion and a stick of celery for added flavour. Boil for about an hour then discard the solids. Place liquid in another place.


  • Stock
  • 10ozs Non-Halal back bacon (unsmoked)
  • Two medium sized onions
  • Four cloves of garlic (omit if you are Lugosi)
  • Three sticks of celery
  • Three large carrots
  • Two tins of chopped tomatoes (Don’t cut yourself on the tins unless you are from Kent)
  • A man-sized squirt of tomato puree (If you are Hogz that’s two tablespoonsful)
  • Large tin of cannellini beans or white kidney beans
  • Oregano
  • Basil
  • Two bay leaves
  • Olive oil for frying
  • Half a savoy cabbage – shredded
  • Spaghetti
  • Grano Padano grated (Avoid Parmesan. It stinks like toe-jam)

Method: Gently fry the diced bacon and chopped onions together with the chopped or mashed garlic in some olive oil. Do not brown. Remove from the heat and place in another place. Gently cook the diced vegetables excluding the cabbage in some more olive oil, stirring for about five minutes. Again, do not brown. In a large pan combine the vegetables, bacon, onions and garlic. Add the all the other ingredients and stir together. Add the stock and bring to a gentle simmer for about an hour or until the carrots and celery have softened. Add the shredded cabbage and spaghetti. I would suggest a quantity of spaghetti about as thick as a Lesbian’s thumb. Break the spaghetti into two-inch pieces. Bring back to a gentle simmer for about ten to fifteen minutes.
(If the liquid level drops too low add a little water, but not too much.)
Add grated Grano Padano to taste

We like to serve this with fresh crusty beard, warm if possible. My wife likes her beard to be well buttered but I have always preferred dipping in dry. You choose.

Judas was paid, Going Postal
Serving suggestion


© Judas was Paid International 2018

Audio file