Dear ladies and germs of the Going Pistol bloggery, I offer for your perusal my recent appliances to the FIFA.
I advance this in order you may check for errors of typography and indeed the grammars. Here goes and crossed finger.
Dear Hello FIFA,
This is an informal letters, I ask that you offer strenuous consideration to my appliance. I ask that my People’s Republic may be in consideration of your most worthy Cup of the World.
As self appointed ruler of the People’s Republic of Capstania Fullstrenghtia and following an almost bloodless coup or coupe, never sure of that one, I ask with respect for my appliance for your Cup.
Details of said coup/coupe are available on request.
I find myself incredibly lucky to also now find myself in the position of Director of All Sports Outside, a privilege that weighs upon me heavily.
I understand that the football constitutes a Sport Outside and so it is with great humility that I prostrate myself before you in the manner of the snake.
I am advised there may be those more worthy of this Cup World but I am led to believe by my Financial Minister, Count Zbigniew, who is familiar in such matters, that this process may be eased with some considerations that are in your favour. I am indeed most happy to meet with your trusted representative at any motorway service of your choice.
What can my little country offer you for these football celebrations I see you ask. There are many! Just to kick off, you see already I am a familiar with these sport words, we have a vast amount of fields which, with some ideas and money, could very quickly become suitable for games of this nature.
We have already, in our capital city, recently renamed at my request to be Viciousia, several other fields and a building which we call The Place That No One Ever Leaves. This building has no connection with the recent coup/coupe.
Such a building, with a little thought, money and imaginary could successfully be the Press Centre, indeed the hub of our little enterprise.
There are other many advantages, much of our citizens now have a radio and our newly found, (was it ever lost, a little joke we often share in Capstania), service of television. This would surely be in full colours by the time of this event, if you permit this.
Infrastructures, I see you ask? Again there are many, the roads are numerous and mostly free of dead oxens, any other dead oxens would be long gone and I would see to this personally. I give you my words in this.
The eye of the world would be upon Capstania if we were blessed with such an undertaking and I ask that you share the content of my envelope with our many friends in the world of footballs. Capstania is open for the business!
When first I spoke with Count Zbigniew, in his luxury apartment overlooking the Viciousia river, renamed at my request, I began to be septic that we could have such a cup but then he informed me of Qatar.
At first I did not believe what he told, then after that the water runs down my leg for many minutes, I was in such mirth.
In a dessert, in a heatwave, with outside air conditions, in country no one understands this game, with no traditions of such noble sport.
I then begin to believe and also I check with my account in Zurich. I say to Zbigniew, yes we can. If Qatar can do this then Capstania must be in the shoes too.
So dear FIFA you have just dignity to lose, maybe already this is missing and perhaps Capstania could be the final jewel in your crowns.
I wait for your favourite response.
That is all dear Going Pistol friends, you can help this with your book of faces, your twitting, my spaces, if that is still a thing, and even Interlinkedin and Interflora.
Help me and help us and Make Capstania Great Again!
© Viciousbutfair 2018