The Planets

A huge hat tip and thank you to EJ of this parish for providing the planetary GIF.

Throughout this series, I would like to give a huge H/T to NASA..  I have used other sources as well, such as  and EarthSky which is a great site for showing you where to look and any old SCBBC or Sky Lies News site.

The Prologue:

A reminder as to the new definition of a planet.   It all came to a head in January 2005 with the discovery of the trans-Neptunium object Eris, a body more massive than the smallest then-accepted planet, Pluto.

The International Astronomical Union (IAU), recognised by astronomers as the world body responsible for resolving issues of nomenclature, released its decision on the matter.  This definition, states that a planet is a body that:

a.  Orbits the Sun

b.  Is massive enough for its own gravity to make it round

c.  Has “cleared its neighborhood” of smaller objects around its orbit.

Under this new definition, Pluto and the other trans-Neptunium objects do not qualify as planets. So to is the case for  Abbopotomus, it is classified as just a dwarf planet or a plutoid.  One of the biggest though, at least on our planet.

Given that Abbopotomus resides on planet Earth, I think we will nearly all agree that it orbits the sun, it is massive enough as it’s own gravity has made it round, and once the nearest KFC opens it will indeed clear its neighborhood of smaller objects, such as other people.

Part 11 – Abbopotomus

Equatorial Diameter: Approx 66 inches (168 cm)
Mass – Varies, but approximately  336 lb (152 kg)
Moons: 1 (The son, private eduction)
Orbit Distance: 149,598,262 km (1 AU)
Orbit Period: 365.24 days
Surface Temperature: 34°C to 38°C

Atmosphere: Mainly methane and trace elements of other obnoxious gasses.

Abbopotomus, on the scale of things is a relatively young celestial object, being born in 1953 on the 27th September to Jamaican parents.

It was first probed by a young Jeremy_Corbyn

The Abbopotomus first became visible in 1982 when it was elected to Westminster City Council, serving until 1986.  It was during this era that it was found that as long as whatever you wanted had a red rosette, the local population would vote for it.  In 1987 it was elected to the House of Commons, as MP for Hackney North & Stoke Newington.  The Abbopotumus was the first black planet to become an MP, elected in the same year as those great and noble other celestial objects Keith Vaz, Bernie Grant and Paul Boateng.

Over the years the planet has been aligned with various political appointments, pretty much all of which due to extremely poor performance, were removed, or *voluntarily* given up, typically due to an excess, or lack of sugar in the internal body.  However this always returns to normal once the previous planetary calamity has gone down the MSM  Black_hole.

Speaking of which, Abbopotomus shares a common denominator with other left aligned minor planets in that it has not one, but two black holes.  The first, like most, is situated on the far side, and is not usually visible, the second is on the face of the planet which frequently pours out poison.  It should be noted that due to the remarkable similarity,  on the rare times the black hole on the far side does become visible, it is recommended that you use the black_hole identifier link above, to confirm which one you are actually hearing or looking at.

Where to find it:

During any general election, in the posh area of Islington, outside of this, it is visible on an almost daily basis when getting paid for entertaining students, or being paid to be on terrestrial programs.

Whilst it can be seen by the naked eye, a telescope, with the lens covered, is highly recommended.

© Phil the test manager 2018