Corby’s Cat – Week #2

Being the story of one cat's struggle against the forces of socialism

Grimy Miner, Going Postal

What a week it has been!

On Wednesday Corbyn went to his club, it must be one of those places where butlers and nannies go on their days off. He took a letter with him from someone called Georgina. She must be an old friend of his because she wrote to him last year and he kept her letter under his pillow (he doesn’t know that I go into his quarters when he’s out).

I don’t know what the letter said but he mumbled something about showing it to a friend of his when he went to their “House” – he was making a big thing of it, chuckling to himself as he closed the door.

The telephone rang while he was out and someone called “Shame Us” left a message on the answering machine. I only heard part of it, something about Shame Us’s friend, a Russian, and asking Corbyn if he wanted to be friends with him too. I hope that Corbyn is not mixing with the wrong crowd again like he did when he was younger. He hung about with a gang of Irish Teddy Boys run by someone called Gerald or Adam or something, they were running around, vandalising places and letting off fireworks. I had to have words with him and I thought that he had settled down, but this Russian thing worries me.

+++++++++++++++++

Well, he’s back, and in a foul mood!!

They asked him to recite one of his stories, a party piece of his, and apparently he decided to read out the letter he had had from Georgina.

Well, what a disaster! They were shouting that they had heard it before, and that some of them didn’t even believe that Georgina existed. He was nearly in tears when he told his other friend John.

To cap it all he told them all that he WAS going to be friends with Shame Us’s Russian friend. As soon as he said that all of his other friends told him that they were not friends with HIM.

So, Wednesday hasn’t been such a good day for him.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I also heard that that Abbott woman has got a job on a newspaper called LL, I hope that she is better at writing than she is at adding up, time will tell how many people buy the newspaper I suppose.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Corbyn has asked for a day off to go and visit some distant relatives in a “God forsaken place” – his words – called Carlisle.

If he’s traveling by train I hope he remembers his seat number, because last time he forgot where he was sitting and sat on the floor outside a toilet until a kind man came along, took his photograph for his photo album, then helped him up and found his seat. Unfortunately some of his friends obtained a copy of the picture and showed all his other friends – Oh, how they laughed.

Sometimes I think that he is so forgetful that he will forget that his job is to feed me and see to my every whim!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Corbyn must have been put in charge of his butlers and nannies club because he has told a little boy called Owen Smith that he cannot be a member of Corbyn’s Club. Apparently it was because they fell out about him disagreeing with Corbyn about amalgamating Corbyn’s Club with a foreign butlers club run by some people called Junkheap and Mangle. Corbyn is walking around pushing his chest out and saying to everyone he meets “Look how strong I am, I won’t be pushed around”. I wonder what Junkheap and Mangle think about him. I get the feeling that they won’t let him push them around!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Well, another week is nearly over, I see that Abbott woman who keeps phoning Corbyn and asking him to do some sums for her has gone to America with a little coloured chappie called Kahnt (I think that that’s his name). I hope that she’s not ringing him from America and reversing the charges! The telephone bill is big enough without her making it worse.

Miaoowww!

 

© Grimy Miner 2018