Gmbd, learning to drive

Gmbd, Going Postal

My friend taught me to drive.
Not by instruction but observation.
When I was 14 or something a friend of my dad’s tried to teach me to drive.
I had no idea of transmission or how it all worked.
This pedal seems to slow it down, this pedal makes it go faster and this pedal makes it stop.
I drove like a girl.
Years later I let my wife drive my car and after a week I needed a new clutch but it was a Vauxhall and changing the clutch on those was a 5 minute job. brilliant design.
I passed my test in Ireland
I approached what seemed to be road works but no lights or anything so I assume it is safe to proceed then tester makes me go around a roundabout and back the way we came.
At this moment a dog decides to attack my car.
I avoid the dog.
“Fuck,fuckety, fuck, the fucking bastard dog, fucking shittity shittity fucking dog “
Then as I approach the road works from this end the only indication is a temporary “Road closed”
“fUCK,fuck, fuCKETY FUCK”
I reverse back to the turning and off we go.
I am convinced that I have failed so I don’t care now.
“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck”
so we are back at the testing station and I am waiting for the refusal.
“Well you passed but if I might make a suggestion that you do not swear so much”

I came back to live in England and I know I have 3 months then I should get an English license.
I think it might be adventageous if they don’t know I have an Irish licence so I apply for a provisional and get somebody to drive me to the testing centre.

“You drove very well”

I spoke with some guys yesterday afternoon.
“What do you do ? “
“I am property management in London”
“I had a balcony flat in Holland Park, guess what it cost me “
“dunno”
“It was eleven pounds a week”

In those days there were no police cars there were no speed cameras.
You could get from Holland Park to the west end in ten minutes.
that is where I really learned to drive and I only hit one other vehicle.

I do like driving but it is no fun anymore.

I really love Ireland
I was driving some guys home after a few beers.
There is a pedestrian bit by the green in Dublin where I thought I could do a U turn as I saw somebody do that.
This is where you can give your keys to a guy in the street and they will park it for you and you know it is going to be safe.
because they are probably IRA
anyway I spot these guys 2 lanes and 4 cars back staring at me.
“there are some people staring at me “
get pulled over
“you did a U turn in a pedestrian area”
“I saw somebody do it, I thought it was OK”
“that was us”
“what is your business in this country?
“Have you been drinking ?”
“well I had 2 pint and a half”
“You know that that puts you over the limit ? “
“No, actually I had a pint and a half”
” We are not interested in that”
absolutely love Ireland.

Gotham must be destroyed ©