With apologies to Bob Newhart and the Walter Raleigh skit, Part Two

Combat Dave, Going Postal

Telephone rings:

Yeh?… Who is it, Frank?… The Home Secretary?… Yeh?… Yeh, put her on, will you!
Hey, Harry… you wanna pick up the extension?… yeh! it’s nutty Amber again!
Hi, Homie baby, how are you, girl? How’s everything going?…
Oh, things are fine here, Homie!…
Did we get the what?…
Oh!, the boat load of gimmees, yeh! They arrived fine Amb, as a matter of fact they’re still here, they’re wonderin’ all over London…
Well, y’see, G4S lost them on route, Amb!!!…
What you got for us this time, Amb, you got another winner for us?
Immigrant Syrian children… er, what’s that, Amb?…
It’s a kind of little person, huh?…
And you bought 10 of them?!!…
Let me get this straight, Amb, you’ve bought 10 children? This may come as a kind of a surprise to you Amb, but come the EU, we’re kinda upto our…
It isn’t that kind of child, huh?…
Oh!, what kind is it then… some special kind of kid?…
Not exactly?…
Oh, it has a lot of different definitions, like, what are some of the definitions, Amb?…
Are you saying ‘Special’, Amb?…
What’s special about them?…
You take a 38 year old male… and you say he‘s a vulnerable little boy. ha! ha!… and he needs a mummy and a daddy? ha! ha! ha!…
Yeh, I imagine he would, Amb! But hey, Banardos seems to do it pretty well over here!
There are other types though, huh?…
You can put him in college!… or a primary school!… or you can shave him… and put him in a job. ha! ha! ha!… and give him to a middle-class family. ha ha ha… Don’t tell me, Amb, don’t tell me. ha! ha! ha! He‘s probably got a criminal record, right? ha! ha! ha!…
Oh! He‘s a deserter from the Somali Army!…
Then what does he do, Amb? ha! ha! ha!…
He sets fire to their house! ha! ha! ha!…
Then what does he do, Amb?…
Ha! ha! ha! He rapes their daughters, huh! ha! ha! ha!…
You know, Amb… it seems you can go to Dewsbury and have the same thing doing to you!
You see, Amb… we’ve been a little worried about you, y’know, ever since you voted remain and became Home Secretary.
Y’see, Amb… I think you’re gonna have rather a tough time selling people on death, rape and invasion of their country…
It’s going very big over there in Paris, is it?…
What’s the matter, Amb?…
You forgot the Libyans?…
The  Lib-ee–ans?.
What they do, Amb?…
They jump into dinghies and sink in the Mediterranean, huh? ha! ha! ha!…
That’s going over very big there, too, is it?…
A lot of people jump in dinghies, sink and claim they‘re “refugees“, huh?…
Is that what you call the economic migrants, Amb?… Re–fu-gees?…
I tell you what, Amb!, why don’t you send out the Royal Navy to pick them up, too!
If you can talk people into putting those “children“ into their homes… they’ve gotta go for those Lib–ee-ans, Amb!… right?
Listen, Amb… don’t call us… we’ll call you!…
G’bye!

Combat Dave ©

Last night’s 60 Minutes interview on CBS with Trump.