No, this is not about the social ones we have come to love and cherish if we get all our information from that institution called “BBC”.
It’s about real parasites to start with – so keep quiet now and listen up. No giggling on the back benches, and stop throwing paper darts or I’ll make you dissect a parasite-riddled mouse liver, so you have a proper reason for feeling sick!
You’ve all seen sheep, the fluffy things populating our hills, being kept in check by the trusted collies? Good.
These poor sheep are liable to become infected with a parasite called ‘liver fluke’, which makes them very sick.
The parasite that does this has a very interesting life history, one aspect of which is of huge interest to us.
Briefly, the liver fluke lays eggs inside the affected sheep – and the eggs are getting outside with the sheep poo, which then just lies around. I’m sure the hill walkers amongst you have noticed, perchance even stepped into some of it.
The next step in the lifecycle of that parasite is to be gobbled up by snails. The eggs hatch inside the unfortunate snail and tunnel through its guts. The snail, defending itself, then encapsulates these juvenile parasites and gets rid of them in snail poo, which then lies around, waiting for the next unsuspecting animal to gobble it up.
Now this is where it becomes really interesting – so pay attention, this stage applies to us!
No – it’s not us who eat snail poo, you stupid idiot!
The next animal which does eat snail poo is an ant. The snail-made cyst dissolves inside the ant and the juvenile then infects the ant’s neurons – no, dear, ants don’t have brains! – and affects the infected ant’s behaviour. It makes the ant leave its comrades when night falls, and makes it climb to the top of a grass stem where it stays all night. That’s totally unnatural for an ant.
The next unsuspecting sheep, cropping the grass, takes up the ant without noticing and lo and behold, the new liver fluke is home and dry and it can begin all over again.
So why, you may well ask, is this of interest, since you don’t eat sheep or snail poo?
It’s because the parasite alters behaviour – and we can observe this altered behaviour in the human parasites infesting our ‘best and brightest’, that is all those, we’re told, who’ve benefited from St Tone’s education, in schools and academe.
Their behaviour has become altered to such an extent that the academic work they excrete is comparable to sheep and snail poo. It’s gobbled up by unsuspecting humans called students, who don’t notice that they’ve become infected, and whose behaviour has become altered to welcome new, two-legged parasites of the species known to inhabit the MENA area.
The humans thus infected expose themselves to these culturovores, even welcoming their own imminent destruction – such as the ant which leaves the safety of the uninfected comrades behind to do something totally irrational for an ant, just to get eaten.
Another example of altered behaviour in humans infected by those parasites can be observed in their attitude to the EU.
Individuals not affected by these parasites know that Brussels is detrimental to their health and the health of the nation, and do their very best to avoid all things EU, even unto voting Leave on the glorious 23rd of June.
The behaviour of the poor, affected dears up to this day shows clearly how parasite infestation alters rational behaviour.
Short of putting them into quarantine and waiting for their demise, there’s nothing to be done – unless we enrich their quarantine with the MENA culturovores for whose admission these dears have clamoured so loudly.
I think that would be an excellent solution to the problem of parasite infestation, don’t you?
Here endeth the lesson.
For a not so tongue-in-cheek look at the real liver fluke, you might refer to this article: