Tales from EoL, the Ronnie Corbett Soliloquy, Pt II

Eraser of Love, Going-Postal.Net

Its those fleeting moments in time .. those exchanges that pass in the blink of an eye.So small in time you could say they never happened at all.

Sitting slumped in my chair contemplating my return to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off while Mrs Eraser catches up on ‘location, location, location’ , I remember a capital gadge called Dave the Gardener from my 7 year sabbatical in Brentwood, Essex.

Dave was a casualty of the 80’s/90’s Soho dojo of TV/RADIO Advertising .As was the fashion those days , Dave Managed to acquire a Kibble (coke) habit of such magnitude he Made mine look like Katherine Jenkins ‘My cocaine hell’ Blockbuster, in the News of the WorLd a few years ago when the Dramatic Welsh tart thought about going into rehab after being at a party when she witnessed the bloke out of Brush strokes “snort a white substance from a l.p. cover”…’Although it might not have been the bloke out of Brush strokes, it might have been the bloke out of Lovejoy’

Thats all by the by , Now , Dave Decided the Advertising world was’nt for him any longer and chose the path of a landscape gardener.. Be your own boss. wind in your hair. birds tweeting.All that karaokoe and caper. Again, im just painting the broad brush strokes here ,lovely bloke who kept his hand in . If you catch my drift.

When Dave called into our local he would,on occasion , after a few ales,sometimes not, address the Juke box and put on Rolf Harris ‘Two little boys’..Being a Fisherman who can always spot another fisherman on the shore , i soon fkn well twigged that this was a signal to those in the know , that Gardener Dave was ‘Long’ i.e, Holding a significant amount of kibble and so on and so forth.However this was NEVER openly discussed as this would be very bad form in Essex Circles.And penaltys could be severe.

Anyway many months pass and One sunday morning in the boozer , there i was, a hangover bleeding from every orifice , when Dave walks in and sits down opposite. Im gone, outers, a void , really hanging on the driftwood .Nicholas cage’ leaving las vegas’ job. when i hear the Opening bars of ‘Two little Boys ‘ drift from the speakers like a tender mothers lullaby in her screaming brats ears , Dave , with the old rouges smile , slides across the wrap of life giving elixier …..” i just gots to know, Dave, Why ‘two little boys ?”

“Because Glenn, There’s always room on my horse for two…”

And i think that made Dave the Gardener , a wonderful human being..

thanks for being there.

Hello My Name Is Glenn,

and i am a former drug addict and current Probation Officer

and im 1515 days sober. good night all.

Eraser of Love ©