Highly Sensitive Document, not to be distributed outside the names mentioned below.
In anticipation of the result of the referendum to be held on the 23rd June 2016 in the United Kingdom and the expected resounding success of the Remain campaign, Angela Merkel, proposed new chair of the ruling council is pleased to announce that the next stages in the completion of the ongoing project that is the European Union are ready to be enacted.
As of the 1st of January 2017 the EU in its current form will no longer exist, for the time is now right to make the final transition to Super-statehood. For the Super-state to be a success there will need to be radical changes to the way we are all governed, but individual citizens should not be worried, everything that is being done is for the collective good.
No longer will nations need to elect their own governments, we will remove the onerous duty of voting from the citizens and put it directly into the hands of the Central Council, appointed of course by Ms Merkel, ably advised by Francois Hollande and Tayyip Erdogan.
The timeline is only a guide, but it is expected that the introduction of all necessary measures will be implemented by the end of 2016, when the EU will be renamed as Greater Europia and will be a democratic trading republic stretching from what is now the Republic of Ireland in the West to the former countries of Turkey and Ukraine in the East.
Greater Europia, based in Brussels, will be presided over by a council of 16 (15 plus chair) with 5 members of the council being chosen from each one of the lesser administrative areas, these areas will be known as Western Europia (based in Paris), Central Europia (based in Berlin) and Eastern Europia (based in Ankara). This sub division will allow the EU to remove the need for individual states to have parliaments or direct governments of any kind. All appointments to the ruling council will be made on transparent democratic lines, nominations will be accepted from all sides of the political spectrum, with preference being given to those politicians who have taken the brave step of sacrificing the sovereignty of their own countries for the greater good, Ms Merkel and the two members of the advisory panel will have veto over any unsuitable nomination.
Each lesser administrative area will also have a council of 16 with a minimum of 1 member (maximum 3) appointed from each of the independent states that make up the current EU, once again, to ensure that the sub areas are properly represented only those who have put the greater good of the EU before the wishes of their own citizens will be considered for the positions.
This initial document is intended only to inform those members of the Central Council and the chairs of the Regional Councils of their future roles and responsibilities.
Further documents containing detail as to how everything will be made to work going forward will be issued when (and if) we ever figure it out.
Members of the Permanent Central Council;
- Chair; Angela Merkel, Vice Chair; David Cameron, Finance; Christine LeGarde
- Defense; TayyipErdogan, Security; Jan Jambon, Information; Francois Hollande
- Energy and Climate Change; Helen Thorning-Schmidt, Agriculture; Simon Coveney
- Health; Maggie De Block, Business; Donald Tusk, Education; Alex Salmond
- Religious Affairs; Fethullah Gulem Human Rights; Pope Francis
Council Members without portfolio
- Anthony Blair, Arseny Yatsenyuk, Nicola Sturgeon
- Western Europia, Nick Clegg
- Central Europia; Henriette Reker
- Eastern Europia; Yanis Varoufakis